My Wi-Fi Has Trust Issues

It all started on a calm Sunday morning — the kind of day meant for deep reflection, spiritual peace, and Netflix. I had just made my coffee, sat down with a blanket, and opened my laptop. The universe seemed aligned.

And then — it happened.

“No Internet Connection.”

That single notification shattered my inner peace like a cricket ball through a window. I stared at the Wi-Fi icon as if sheer willpower could reconnect it. “Come on, buddy,” I whispered, “we’ve been through worse.”

But my Wi-Fi — oh, my dear Wi-Fi — is dramatic. It doesn’t just disconnect. It vanishes like a mysterious lover who texts, “we need to talk,” and then disappears for three business days.

Stage 1: Denial

At first, I didn’t panic. Maybe it was a glitch. I turned the router off and on — the ancient ritual passed down from generation to generation. Surely, this would work.

I waited.

Nothing.

I turned it off again — this time angrily. I glared at the blinking lights like a disappointed parent. Still nothing.

Stage 2: Bargaining

“Please,” I said, hands clasped in desperation. “I’ll stop streaming in HD. I’ll even update Chrome. Just give me one bar.”

But the Wi-Fi remained silent. Cold. Distant.

Stage 3: Anger

After twenty minutes of helpless refreshing, I snapped. I called my Internet Service Provider (ISP).

“Hello, sir,” the support agent said in the most peaceful voice known to humankind. “Have you tried turning your router off and on again?”

“Yes,” I said through clenched teeth. “Seven times. It’s basically a new religion now.”

“Okay, sir,” she replied. “Can you please check if the lights are blinking?”

I stared at the router. “Yes, they’re blinking. In Morse code. I think it’s saying, Help me, I’m dying.”

After thirty minutes of “troubleshooting,” she told me there was a “temporary outage” in my area. Which, translated into English, means: We have no idea what’s going on, but we hope it fixes itself.

Stage 4: Depression

No Wi-Fi. No Netflix. No memes. No purpose.

I sat in silence, listening to the sounds of actual birds outside. I hadn’t heard them in years. I found myself reading shampoo bottles for entertainment. At one point, I tried to “restart” my toaster out of habit.

Then I realized something terrifying — I didn’t remember my neighbor’s face, but I knew their Wi-Fi password.

Stage 5: Acceptance (and Rebirth)

By evening, the lights on the router turned green. The connection was back. My heart swelled with joy. I refreshed YouTube, and the video loaded instantly. I almost cried.

For the next hour, I treated my Wi-Fi with the respect it deserved. I whispered sweet nothings to the router. I promised never to take it for granted again.

But deep down, I knew the truth — it would betray me again. Probably tomorrow.

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Moral of the Story:

Love is temporary. But a strong Wi-Fi connection? That’s eternal bliss.

So, dear reader, next time your Internet drops, take a deep breath, turn off the router, whisper kind words to it, and remember: it’s not you. It’s your ISP

I pulled out my phone and turned on mobile data. Instantly, my phone connected. The betrayal was complete. My laptop looked at me in shame. My phone smirked. I was living in a love triangle I never signed up for