My First Day – Part 1

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***

It’s my first time filling one of these assignment reports out, so go easy on me.

With Lusario serving as my mentor, we made our way to the complainants’ house. I remember seeing three doors of different heights and thinking how much of a pain that would make this home security detail. After all, three times the possible entrances to cover.

Still, the middle door somehow felt like the best door I’d ever stepped through. Not that I ever gave much thought to doors before, but the feeling struck my brain that its equal parts practical but aesthetic design was just right.

Even the hinges had the exact right amount of resistance to keep the door from swinging in the wind but not so much that the package-laden courier would not be able to manipulate it with his foot.

If I ever lived in a house, I’d like it to have a door exactly like this.

Not that home ownership was coming anytime soon for the Nightingale Agency’s newest trainee. The reason I was even offered the chance was that I had impressed Lusario with my tenacity when she saw me fighting for a loaf of bread. The veteran Nightingale agent had seen a lot in her day, but never before a human who could “out feral” a goblin.

She had offered me a temp position on the spot. Said she had been searching for a replacement so she could finally retire and live out her remaining years with her wife.

I had asked if there was food.

Best deal I’d made in months.

And what an outfit. Not only did they feed me, but they had shown zero hesitation to arm a youth. They had even thrown in a fresh set of clothes and my very own bed in the supply closet at headquarters.

Of course, janitorial would bitch anytime they need to reach over my sleeping form for a mop. I had compromised with them by doing all the mopping. No more waking up a to a face full of cleaning liquid, and they had more time to run their dice games behind the loading dock.

Head janitor Ezekiel even gave me some of the cigarettes he won from the extra games.

I had once asked him how he could always be sure of a victory.

“Ah, just a bit of God’s blessing and good fortune,” he said with a wink. Though with one eye, I suppose he could have simply been blinking and nobody would ever know the difference. Least of all me.

I then asked which god. A new one seemed to appear each month, and I wanted to switch the address of where my prayers were being sent.

“The God of Weighted Dice, of course.” He had a good laugh at that.

Side Note: I’ve been praying to the God of Weighted Dice for a while and have yet to receive an answer. I’m starting to think They are too busy keeping Ezekiel’s dice hot. Suppose gods are just like us. We each have a limit to our bandwidth.

Not me, of course. With no family, no friends, and no ties, I had no distractions. I’d devoured every training manual, taken every course, and spent countless hours at the archery range.

Lusario had looked on with quiet approval. Mostly, I assume, because that meant I would on-ramp to full-fledged Nightingale agent quickly and let her offload her cases even faster. But sometimes, I swore there was a spark of something else in her eye.

Oh well, if it doesn’t mean more food or—someday soon—wages, it’s not a primary concern of mine. That’s the problem with the other trainees. Always talking about their parents waiting for them at home, sibling rivalries, what their friends are doing for their apprenticeships, which maidens they’re trying to court. They don’t have the animal instinct I have.

The feeling seems to be mutual. All their eyes roll whenever I ask them about the best meal they ever had. They always say they’re “tired of describing food in every possible detail.”

And also they’re apparently “grossed out when you start drooling,” but I put that squarely on their privileged upbringings.

Also, I might have encouraged this growing rift by putting a rumor out that my greatest meal happened to be the flesh of another man.

Suddenly, the smug faces of superiority they greeted me with before looked a lot more wide-eyed and blanched. Even Jezzabel’s sun-kissed cheeks she spent so much time reveling at in the mirror now looked pale and drawn whenever I passed by.

Whatever it takes to shut them up, I say.

Besides, I’ve got Ezekiel and the mops for company. Casey also doesn’t seem like a complete prick, but in comparison to the rest of the trainee class that isn’t saying much. Easy to stand out in a crowd of clowns.

You know that saying, would you rather be alone in the woods with a man or a bear?

Well, what if it was three bears? And instead of the woods, they were gathered around a dining table in a room richly appointed with tapestries and pleasantly scented with incense. To the point that you, fairly recently washed and dressed in a mostly unstained cloak, two facts that your mind still has trouble processing after all that time spent in the thoroughfares throwing hands with the goblins, feel like you are lowering the class of the place?

Seeing my gob smacked expression, Lusario jumped in and interviewed them about the threats they had received.

The largest bear asked, “How would you feel if you came back to find some intruder squatting in your home? Sleeping in your bed?”

As someone who had no home and only recently acquired a bed, I wasn’t too swayed.

Then he dropped the guillotine on my indifference.

“Eating your food?”

My fingernails dug into my palms as my hands clenched into fists. Lusario glanced down with a slight smirk. Uncanny how this woman could read me. But I suppose that was her vast experience showing.

“We asked her to leave nicely,” the mid-sized bear said. “But she cursed us and said this was her place now. The constabulary dragged her out, and we thought that would be the end of it.”

“I wanted a tithe to replace the porridge she consumed, but Miriam wouldn’t allow it,” the big bear grumbled.

“Her gold hair sure looked soft,” the young bear said, smiling and resting his head on a forepaw.

Father and mother bear stared at their son for a moment, then Miriam shook her head. “Ignore him. I let this girl off easy because TJ here begged us to be merciful. I had no idea it was all because he had some whackado fantasy in his head.”

“I swear she laced his porridge with something,” the father growled. “‘Too cold’ my ass.”

“Gerald,” Miriam hissed. “No swearing in front of the boy.”

“If he’s old enough to start dreaming of courting a human, he’s old enough to hear some adult language.”

Lusario cleared her throat. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to set family dynamics aside and focus on the immediate issue.” She nodded to Gerald. “Besides, you might just find that the Nightingales removing this primary stressor will allow you to face your other problems with a clearer, calmer head.”

All but the lovelorn youngest bear nodded, proceeding to recount a campaign of intimidation and harassment. Threatening scrolls pinned to the trees ringing their land with knives. Dead animals left just outside the property. Sometimes, she would even stand at the boundary line and stare at the house.

Miriam sighed. “Constables stopped coming out because she’s never actually set foot on our property since that day.”

Lusario cocked her head. “I don’t understand. All this because you kicked her out?”

“The letters said she really liked the middle door,” Miriam said with a shrug.

Gerald placed his paws on the table and leaned forward. “We did some digging. Turns out this girl is a consultant for a corporation of bankers. They’ve filed titles with the local lord to tear this forest down and build a collection of gambling dens and taverns overflowing with ale and loose women to attract those of lower moral character from the surrounding towns and castles. Our property sits right at the center of this vile settlement they have planned.”

“They’re calling it Old Vegas.” Miriam snorted. “What kind of stupid name is that?”

I thought back to Ezekiel’s God of Weighted Dice and wondered if They might help me win some coinage. Coins could buy a lot of things. Food. A kitchen to cook food in. A house to keep food in.

One large coin could even buy a bunch of smaller coins. The merchants had been all too happy to exchange the gold coin Lusario lent me for silver ones.

And one out of the two members of this partnership was quite proud of himself for turning my one gold coin into five silver coins. That had to be higher value than my one coin. There were five of them.

The other member of this partnership pinched the bridge of her nose and counted quietly to herself.

“So, naturally, you are opposed to this land grab through intimidation on moral grounds,” Lusario said, nodding.

“Absolutely,” Gerald said. “That, and moving sucks.”

Miriam grunted her agreement.

“That’s why you called us,” I said, glancing at Lusario. Her nod of approval put some more steel in my spine.

“Still,” Lusario added, “we can’t exactly go hunting for this girl. She needs to cross the property line. Only then will we have carte blanche to deal with her.” She cocked any eyebrow. “Unless you wanted to upgrade to a higher tier…”

Gerald and Miriam shook their heads.

Lusario pressed the issue. “Are you sure? It’s a higher up-front cost, sure. But think of the peace of mind you’ll have knowing the problem has been dealt with. Permanently. Besides, you are compensating us by the day, otherwise. And who knows if our opponent makes a move, much less when.”

Gerald glanced at TJ, who had wandered off into the next room, and then leaned close. “The boy would never forgive us if it came out we had, uh, arranged for her to ‘go away.’”

Miriam nodded, sighing. “He’s a fool, but he’s our son.”

Lusario smiled knowingly, and her gaze flicked to me—whatever that was supposed to mean. “Then we’ll be on watch until this golden-haired menace turns up.”

***

Part 2: