MAMA SAID THERE'D BE DAYS LIKE THIS

MAMA SAID THERE’D BE DAYS LIKE THIS

But so many?

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“Mom! Mom!” I cried tearfully as I all but ran into the door of our apartment.

“What on earth’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

She put her coffee cup on the table and walked to where I stood crying. Grabbing my hands, she turned me around slowly looking for cuts, scrapes, bruises, blood – whatever she wondered had me so upset.

“Mom, I’m fine – well sort of!” I sobbed, hiccupped, the tried not to wail while I felt my fourteen-year-old heart rip apart.

“If you’re not hurt, then, what’s wrong with you?” Now, mom sounded a bit impatient.

“Mom, I just found out that Bobby has a girlfriend. A GIRLFRIEND!! Can you imagine? Mom, he’s supposed to be MY boyfriend. Remember?”

Mom walked back to the table, sat, and picked up her coffee. After taking a sip, wouldn’t dare take a mouthful just in case I said something to make her laugh which would cause her to spit her coffee all over the kitchen wall.

“Wait a minute. Do you mean the Bobby on the next street? The Bobby you haven’t met yet? The Bobby you’ve only seen on the bus coming home from school? THAT Bobby?”

The way mom started laughing, it’s a good thing she didn’t have a mouthful of coffee.

“Mom, it’s not funny! I love him. I had planned to, well, conveniently bump into him tomorrow and then we’d start talking. I’d get to know him. Now, everything’s ruined!”

She pointed to a chair at the table. “Sit. I’ll make you a cup of tea.”

With the tea made and a plate of Uneeda Biscuits in front of me, mom spoke, “Honey, listen. First of all, you’re only fourteen, Bobby’s probably eighteen. You said he wore a class ring. That tells me he’s a senior in high school preparing to graduate. Do the math. He’s at least four years older than you are.

While you might not want to admit it, there are boys who aren’t interested in girls that are that much younger than they are.

Secondly, you have no idea how long he’s been seeing his girlfriend. You don’t want to go around interfering with someone else’s relationship.

Lastly, geez, Liz, you’re only fourteen! You’ll probably have a dozen boyfriends before you find the one you want to marry.

Oh, and one more thing. As you grow up, you’ll realize that there will be days like this. You’ll have your ups and downs. Just don’t let the downs push you to the point where getting back up seems impossible.

Now that you’ve finished your tea and biscuits, come help me fold the laundry.”

Of course, mom was right. I quickly forgot my crush on Bobby when I attended a dance at another local high school and met Richie. OMG! He was gorgeous – that is until I found that he was a nephew of my dad’s cousin. Small world! But Richie introduced me to Ryan. Well, that relationship didn’t last long. We just disagreed on everything, but he was cute. Or at least I thought so at the time.

Each crush on each boy came with its own disillusionments and disappointments. I know I must have amused my mom because it seemed that each month there was another “gorgeous” boy who stole my heart, only to be replaced the following month by someone else.

Keep in mind that I rarely met the boys who, unbeknownst to them, stole my heart, even for a week or two.

Mom would often say, “You are definitely NOT a wallflower.”

I was officially allowed to date on my sixteenth birthday and could hardly wait for Steven to ask me to a movie. He and my brother didn’t get along and when Steven said something about my brother that I disapproved of, well, that was the end of Steven.

Yep, mama said there’d be days like this, but good grief, there were so many of them

Just after my eighteenth birthday, I met Pete. I can laugh now and say that’s the day I became brainless. His straight black hair only made his cool blue eyes stand out even more. We dated and I no longer was conscience of any other boys around. As I said, I was eighteen. Pete was twenty-two.

About six months before my nineteenth birthday, Pete put an engagement on my finger, and I felt the world had stopped.

Mom tried hard not to cry. “But, honey, you’re not much more than a child. Don’t you think you’re a bit young?”

I reminded her that she and dad met when they were fourteen and never looked back. If she could do it, so could I. I left her no room for arguments. I was determined to marry Pete. We set the wedding date for just before my twentieth birthday.

My first sign that things would not go smoothly was when Pete was half an hour late for our wedding. He said he overslept.

When I found out, six months later, that I was now pregnant, he wasn’t happy. You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Mom tried to be optimistic, “Honey, you’re not even married a year. He’s just surprised, that’s all.”

What I thought would be a life-changing happy life, was definitely life-changing but it wasn’t always happy. Happiness was hit and miss.

Mom encouraged me. “Sweetie, marriage is like a job. You need to work at it every day. You’ll have ups and downs. There’ll be good days and bad. Yes, there will always be days like this.”

Ten years and two sons later, Pete decided he’d had enough and left.

I thought for sure my world shattered.

But that old song kept echoing: Mama said there’d be days like this.

So rather than feel sorry for myself with yet another disappointment, I picked myself up, straightened my shoulders and got on with my life.

I don’t often think about my childhood “crushes” because now, after being married to RD for more than thirty years, I’m finally happy!

Yes, mama said there’d be days like this.