Carry On S1 E6 • Cold Carbonated Barley Soup

FADE IN

INT. STOOL AND GLASS BAR - EVENING

FINNEY and SUCHIN enjoy drinks together. They laugh. SUCHIN gets the attention of the bartender.

SUCHIN

I want a martini. Extra, extra, extra, dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty. Filthy. Just dump the whole jar of brine in the damn glass.

FINNEY sips his beer and grins.

To hell with sobriety, huh?

SUCHIN

Yes. To hell with those years of being dry. That’s a goddamn fine martini. [She plunks down another ten.]

FINNEY

Do you want to run a tab?

SUCHIN shakes her head while drowning the glass.

FINNEY

Why don’t we ever go to the O club on base?

SUCHIN

Because the Chair Farce suckwads always look at us like we’re going to steal something.

FINNEY

Did you?

SUCHIN

I stole the salt and pepper shakers and two shot glasses and I’d do it again just to piss off those jet plane jackers.

FINNEY gives her a severe look.

SUCHIN

Alright I’ll return the stuff on Monday. But it’s Friday and we need this time to get our heads right. You’re still nursing that beer?

FINNEY

Oh, this isn’t beer. This is cold carbonated barley soup.

SUCHIN [shows a somewhat bewildered face]

Okay. Roger that.

FINNEY

No, this is just some time to get away from the wife and kids. I love each one of them to death, but Papa needs––

SUCHIN

Me time?

FINNEY

Don’t be silly. Every moment is ‘me time.’

SUCHIN receives her martini. It is dark and brackish. She winks at the bartender and stuffs a ten in his jar.

SUCHIN

So what is it? Things still rough and tumble on the homefront?

FINNEY

I don’t want to get into it.

SUCHIN

You started it saying that Ingrid’s going to leave you.

FINNEY flashes a face of acknowledgment. He cradles his beer and brings it up to his lips. He lets loose a small sigh or a gasp or some kind of release valve.

We’re fine. She’s fine. We’re not in any marital turmoil, if that’s what you’re thinking. So you’re drinking again?

SUCHIN sips. She winces and shakes her head. She plops down more cash.

FINNEY

It just ought to be. You’re throwing money around like that.

SUCHIN

It’s payday. I’ll even pay for your drink.

FINNEY

I can’t let you do that.

SUCHIN

Why is that?

FINNEY

It was my idea to get you out here to hopefully find a mate. That should be the real reason we’re not at the O club on base.

SUCHIN

You know I am all about the ladies. I’m only seeing bulldaggers. I’m into the lipstick type like you. I’m waiting for that buxom blonde to cross my path.

FINNEY

You’re not going to find her sitting here with me. [he gives a shooing motion while still holding his ice cold beer]

SUCHIN

And what are you going to do? Talk to your psychiatrist, Nate the barkeep?

FINNEY

I might. But that’s why I wanted you to get out and explore. We can talk shop or my personal lives. All the while, you should be considering the romantic life of your own.

SUCHIN looks at FINNEY for a long time. She then downs her martini in one gulp. She places the glass on the counter.

SUCHIN

You have propelled me to do this. Marines never leave a man behind. If you walk out of this bar without me––

FINNEY

If you don’t get out there and find a local, somebody to accompany you….Make the last Ball your last time you didn’t have someone on your arm. A fine young lady is just dying to know the real you.

SUCHIN struts away from the bar with equal measures of confidence and composure. She is not drunk and still has the capacity to speak clearly. FINNEY sips some more. NATE the bartender swings over to where FINNEY sits.

NATE

She’s a firecracker.

FINNEY

She’s seen combat, but she hesitates to find a prospective love interest.

NATE

Maybe it’s just her nature. She’s probably all business.

FINNEY grins. He looks at SUCHIN talking to a woman towering over her. He looks at NATE.

FINNEY

She appears to be handling it well.

NATE

Liquid courage?

FINNEY

Nope. Just courage.

FADE OUT