Zhao Han: Life is about authenticity

In a lifetime of less than 30,000 days, it is most important to live an authentic life.

However, for many people, authenticity is an insurmountable threshold.

People are used to hiding their vulnerability and sadness, and like to live with a mask of hypocrisy.

But if they wear the mask for too long, they may even fool themselves.

In her book "HAN SOLUTION", Sister Han Han (Zhao Han), a reading promoter and online knowledge expert, says that one should live authentically, live as yourself, love yourself deeply and heal your life with warmth.

I think this is the best way to look at life.

01 Growing up fast in the grind of authenticity

Zhao Han was born in Beijing and grew up in a compound.

Since she was a child, she has been a "happy girl" in the eyes of her neighbours.

Her parents were often away on business, so she spent her childhood living in the homes of her neighbours' grandparents, uncles and aunts, eating a hundred different kinds of food.

When she was in secondary school, Zhao Han was a boarder.

Because she was fat, she was isolated and ostracised by her classmates, and because she ran for class president against another girl from a prominent family, she was subjected to fancy bullying by her classmates and unfair treatment by her teachers.

Her classmates put sewing needles in her bedding, secretly discarded her household items, and threw fruit peels and bone scraps into her dinner plate.

Sensitive as she was, Zhao Han ingratiated herself with her classmates by helping them with their homework and cleaning up, but even so, the bullying did not stop.

Zhao Han was only 13 years old at the time.

For the first time, she realised that the real world, apart from friendship and kindness, had such a dark and cruel side.

When her classmates once threw away her clothes and household items, Zhao Han fought back.

By doing unto others, she returned the favour.

From then on, school life returned to peace and the history of bullying came to an end.

Yu Hua said, "When we treat the world with ferocity, the world suddenly becomes gentle and gentle.

Zhao Han understands this saying very well.

She says with emotion, "Never take someone's tolerance as a capital for indulgence, and any behaviour that gains ground needs to be countered in a moderate and measured way."

This is indeed the reality.

Life will not always be calm, nor will it just be kind and loving; there are good people and there are bad people, sunshine and gloom.

The important thing is that we accept the world as it is.

Even if the world gives us pain and suffering, we must accept it openly and grow quickly.

02 Real marriages, sharing the pain and suffering and staying together for a long time

If school bullying was the first trial life gave her, the blows that followed were a much tougher ordeal.

In 2012, Zhao Han was involved in a car accident.

The accident resulted in a semi-dislocation of her atlantoaxial vertebrae, which left her unable to get out of bed for half a month and unable to care for herself.

Luckily, she had her husband to take care of her and provide her with compassionate care.

In the winter of 2015, Zhao Han suffered a recurrence of her old injury in Melbourne and was bedridden, even toileting became a problem.

Her husband took care of his wife every step of the way, changing her diapers every day.

Zhao Han was 32 years old that year and Mr. Zhao was 27.

In severe cases, she was unable to look down and had to be helped to pick up something.

Her husband teases her, "If you can't keep your head down, my eyes are your eyes. It's not enough to show you the seasons, but at least you have me."

This not-so-romantic confession touched Zhao Han greatly.

She knew that Zhao Han's illness could not be cured overnight, and that the pain and suffering would last a lifetime.

Her husband chose her to be both sweet to each other and to be together through thick and thin, never to be separated.

Many people feel that she has changed, no longer so sharp and unscrupulous, it is her husband's tolerance and deep love that makes her more and more soft and gentle in marriage.

Zhao Han says: marriage itself is a process of coming into reality. Only by accepting reality can we grow and mature.

If a marriage is romantic, but if you can't get through the realities of life together, it's not destined to go far.

If you meet a good person, run your marriage together, and grow together, your marriage will be solid, and both sides of the marriage will become better versions of themselves.

03 Let go of your imperfect self and love your true self

At one time, Zhao Han disliked her sensitivity.

She was always the most perceptive person in the crowd, she had to read people's minds and make predictions.

This was both a good thing and more of a burden.

After all, thinking too much is physically and mentally exhausting.

Colleagues joke that she is so sensitive that she can even sense the weather forecast for the next day.

Jo Han doesn't want to do that either.

But her childhood life as a foster child and her school days of being bullied by her classmates made her inexplicably feel that the problem was not in herself? Was it that she wasn't good enough? That's why she was isolated.

It wasn't until she read Keigo Higashino's quote: Hate without knowing where it comes from, deep down to the bone, is the coldest human nature.

Only then did she completely figure out that very often, people's disgust is not because you are bad or unworthy of being loved.

The person who ostracises you is not vicious either, everything may be the unique conditions of being together in the moment that lead to isolated incidents.

Instead of blaming yourself and dwelling on your imperfections, let yourself go.

Stop being sensitive and over-interpreting the people and things around you, stop torturing yourself, stop pleasing others and give yourself the courage to be hated by them.

Goethe said: "There is nothing more difficult than knowing how to give yourself back to yourself.

Each of us is a unique limited edition.

Even if we are flawed and imperfect, we are irreplaceable.

By respecting our inner selves and accepting the truth of who we are, we will be able to appreciate the beauty and small blessings that life has to offer.

04 Holding an umbrella for others because you have been in the rain

Fearless Truth" is the most realistic story of Zhao Han's first half of his life, telling readers how to face the sorrows and pains of life.

In the midst of a challenging reality, the past is not loved, the present is not mixed, and the future is not welcomed.

In the ordinary days, she faces all of life's encounters with a calm mind, stable emotions and an atmospheric outlook.

She sets aside the painful scars of the past and shows the ups and downs she has had, in order to help people shed one less tear, take one less step down the road, learn to grow and strengthen themselves through the experience of others.

Because she has been in the rain herself, she holds an umbrella for others.

Zhao Han, a big Beijing girl, has the old-fashioned enthusiasm and willingness to help others in her bones.

She said: "The beauty of life is not what you get, but what you experience. Be thankful for yourself and please yourself, without having to bother with the world, let alone pleasing it. All the wisdom we present is born out of our own sincere heart, our pure heart.

I think deeply.

Life is a one-way journey, and you and I are all just passing through.

In this hustle and bustle, the person we always have to face is ourselves.

Knowing yourself, understanding yourself, reinventing yourself and living your true self is a lifelong task for everyone.

May you live a true and beautiful life.