Your True Love Is Something You Will Never Actually Get

From early age romanticism to each first date held today- love breaks through every narrative of history and seems to hide deep within us. Though, is it held closer to the heart or insecurity? A completion to the soul or just self identity? The magnitude of our magnanimity, or simply put, a byproduct of our biology? It’s clear that as humans love is our magnetic force. The question is, what do we enjoy being drawn to?

Jumping into a conversation on love is as hard as falling into it. It is our greatest power and weakness bundled into one. This enables magazines to make millions- exploiting reader insecurity about relationships. Permits plays on star-crossed lovers to turn from comedies to tragedies in a matter of scenes. Allows life to reach from sky high joy to deep depression, in a single breakup. Love; the true marriage of opposites.

What if I said though, love is something you’ll never actually get. It is a spectrum of emotion tailored to each person's unique capacity for it. Yet, how unique is it really? You thought one person was ideal; kind and the embodiment of the life you wanted- and they weren’t. The circle of love being birthed from anxiety, is an elusive cycle of hope and disappointment. Anything birthed from such insecurity though will never grow up to be beautiful. Relationships can often stem from a “type”, a “preference”, a list of requirements we create for ourselves. That’s all these will ever be though; requirements for ourselves. No wonder couples don’t work out when the only exchange occurring there, is one of lists. You can then fall from one love into another learning nothing about yourself, but that this new person checks more boxes than the last. What inside makes up such personal requirements anyway? Some are for lust, some are for compatibility, but a lot of these specific tastes stem from insecurity. “We always want what we can’t have.” We always want love. Though it makes quite a bit of sense. If love is everything from infatuation, to despair, to hope, to anxiety- the only tangible place to put it is into a person. Something as equally complex and up and down. Just the same, they’re equally as normal as you. A physical embodiment is all love is sometimes, so place it carefully.

We live vicariously through far more people than we think- enjoying feeling love through someone else. Behind each observation and facade of it though, it’s actually something we always carry and could never get. Meant truly to be held within, not to give. Why constantly envision our love hidden away in someone out there, when it’ll always hide deep within us? This one may be the only adequate answer biology gives about love. Being mentally hardwired towards the quickest way around something, and by instinctively favouring group mindset- we start to shut down. To not feel quite as much love for ourselves; as a defence mechanism. “Rejection is all part of it” yes, but rejection from society comes into self-love. Independence deemed as “being unwanted” and confidence deemed as “just being ugly” stops us from practicing “girly” self-care, and “narcissistic” pride.

What if I told you though, the “quickest way around” this one is to deem yourself a rightful owner of love rather than a placeholder. To form a meaning of beauty rather than chase hand-picked definitions. To know that if you’re not “a special someone’s” it’s a time to just be special. Remember when I said love is our greatest power and weakness? It’s just the same as you are your own hero and worst enemy.