Young, Dumb and Naive

Have you ever felt heartbroken before? Have you ever felt that sinking feeling like you will never be good enough? Or that you're just not someone's choice? At one point in life, everyone would experience a love so pure and exciting that when it ends, all will be left are memories that will either haunt you or guide you for the rest of your life.

Being heartbroken can be tough. It sucks in all angles. The experience is sad, devastating, and stressful. It doesn't matter if you got cheated on or the person you loved no longer values you but either way, you'll end up questioning yourself on where it went wrong. Was it your fault? Were you not pretty or handsome enough? Were they just not meant for you?

Heartbreak is one of life's truths that people dread. It is unfortunately a common part of human experience. We feel heartbroken when we lose someone we loved very much and it can cause us a huge amount of stress that affects us emotionally and physically.

There is even a scientific study on why we experience such pain during a heartbreak. It says that our brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain and that it releases hormones when we become attached to someone. Dopamine and oxytocin, in particular, are hormones that make us feel good and make us want to repeat the behavior and are released at an elevated level when we're in love which is why love is often compared with drugs - it is very addictive.

And then, when love falls out, those hormones drop and are replaced with the stress hormone called cortisol. This hormone is designed to act as a natural response to perceived threats but too much cortisol can contribute to anxiety, acne, and weight gain - all are mental and physical symptoms associated with heartbreak.

There are a lot of ways a heartbreak can affect you as a person and if managed correctly, that experience can lead you to a better and much stronger emotional place in life.

I came across this beautiful line from a book called The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass by Mandy Hale which says, "Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for." and it got me thinking. All of those heartbreaks from my past about love come springing back to me like a clock rotating counterclockwise - everything is moving in reverse except me. All of those regrets and stupid decisions were slowly getting clearer because like everyone else, I was once young, dumb, and naive about love.

When I was young, I used to consider heartbreak as a supervillain that gives us daunting challenges in life especially when we are at our most vulnerable; not knowing how often in times when we're in pain, the longing that makes us weak is actually a catalyst that'll make us a much more mature version of ourselves. It serves as life lessons that give us more knowledge of how the world works as time goes on.

People are bound to make stupid decisions when it comes to love. We often put our romantic partner on top of the list in our priorities, making us forget the other things we also need to focus on: family, friends, or career. And when things didn't work out the way we wanted with our romantic relationship, we would feel that empty space as if someone has just taken off a huge chunk from your life. Falling in love is like an investment and your attention is your asset. We need to spread our assets to other investments so when one thing fails, we still have the other ones to keep us going.

It is a realization I have grown to understand after a series of heartbreaks in life. After experiencing heartbreak, I start to understand that I should put myself first and take care of myself than please others. I have come to grasp the fact that it is not my job to make everyone happy. That life is so much more than one person.

"There is always a rainbow after the rain" as people say it. And in this case, one heartbreak can lead you to something more. It will make you realize your strengths and weaknesses and the potentials that you have as a wonderful person. You'll discover new things or new skills you haven't seen in yourself before. Heartbreaks may strike our lives like a storm but after each struggle and pain that comes with it, we will become the better version of ourselves.

So you see, heartbreaks aren't just about pain and suffering after losing someone we loved and valued. It is not all about that feeling of emptiness and longing in your life because nothing is much worth having than struggling through the time to finally attain complete and pure happiness in life.