You Have Me

She wore a normal black t shirt with blue jeans. The light shone on her only. I started coming forward, trying to make out what I was seeing. She was on her knees, crying. Her head was ducked down and she was hugging herself. Immediately I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her. She began sobbing and fell back into me.

I had never seen her break. The strongest person I knew. She was always tough. Only little things gave her emotions away like when she was frustrated, she would clench her fists and stretch her fingers out as a reflex to help her reset. I found her hand and held it and I rubbed my other hand up and down her shoulder. She let herself go. I never thought it was possible. I thought about the signs that helped me see her coming to this. She had been curling her fingers more, sleeping more and occasionally when she was with people she would clench her jaw. I realized that she had been ranting quite a bit too. She was angry. She was tired.

“Hey it’s okay.” I told her. “Let it out.”

I could feel her breathing. It was rapid and her heart was going fast. I remembered one of the times I saw a girl break. She had gotten hit too hard at training, nothing serious though. She just fell over and cried. Only a few people came to her aid but Olivia stared at her.

“That’s the difference between a woman,” she gestured so one of the stronger females. “And a girl.” And gestured to the one crying. James, her best friend shook his head.

“You sound so cold.”

“You know I’m right.” She had told him. He nodded.

“Yeah, but you can help her.” He told her. Their eyes met and she nodded. A whole conversation in once glance. I moved over carefully.

“You should help her.” I told Olivia. I knew by the look on her face that she was already thinking that. Her body language changed when I came over. Instead of facing James she faced me too, but he turned to keep me out. I noticed his eyes follow her as she walked to the girl.

He knows her. He really knew her on a whole different level. I wondered what all they had been through. Would they ever get together? If it hadn’t happened yet it probably wasn’t going to.

I stood right next to him and watched her. She leaned down next to the girl who was crying.

“Are you alright?” She asked her. The girl didn’t look up, she just nodded. “Hey, look at me.” She spoke. The girl reluctantly turned her head to face her. “Let it out now. It’s okay to cry. Don’t feel ashamed.”

The girl sighed and wiped her face off again.

“People don’t cry like this when they get hit.” Olivia told the girl. She took a deep breath to hold in a sob. “But this is where it starts. We all get hurt and we all get stronger. You worked at a food place, right? Cleaned a lot? Did your thumbs ever get those hard calluses from sweeping a lot? Yeah? That’s your body’s way of creating a shield to protect it. It’s your bodies way of becoming stronger to handle what you’re putting it through. This crying – here and now- it’s your soul becoming stronger. Now, that doesn’t mean you’re going to cry every time. It just means you’re going to cry now.” She continued on and the girl was holding her eyes the whole time despite the situation.

“She wasn’t always like this,” James told me. I glanced and saw the admiration in his eyes.

“Yeah?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

“I met her when we were 18. She was strong then too but not nearly as strong as now. One day she just snapped. Everything came down at once on her. It was the weirdest thing. She called me and she cried for an hour. I haven’t seen her fall since. She didn’t have anyone to pick her up like that though. She called me but I could only make her laugh. She didn’t have me.”

I refocused in on the present situation. I squeezed her.

“You have me.” I told her. I realized the final straw to someone was having someone else there. “I won’t leave you.”