Words of Parents Are Hurting the Child

Some words hurt the child, words said by his parents jokingly, nervously, out of anger or annoyance, and even words that are not directed at the little one, but which he witnesses! You seek to protect your child from any danger and exposure;

But have you considered exposure to toxic words? A joke that seems harmless to you, a little criticism, or an ironic appeal will make the child suffer, even if he doesn't show it. And he suffers because these words are spoken even by his father…

Words that hurt the child:

"Harmless" jokes. Parents may not realize it, but some jokes that may seem funny to them even hurt their children. And even if it is not visible, the child always remembers them. A simple joke can make him suffer, but also change his mind about you!

What kind of jokes - the ones about him! Jokes like, "Can't you see because of your big nose," "Can you still count the pimples on your face?", "This haircut makes you look like a frog,", "You know how to sit idle" etc. Just some jokes, right? Well, for a sensitive and influential child, such jokes come from longing parents. In communication with children, irony and sarcasm have nothing to do with.

Names. Some parents tend to find nicknames or use "funny" nicknames for their children. But some of these names hurt and offend him. Nicknames or nicknames such as "balloon", "dwarf", "chubby", "pee", "stupid", "crying", "lazy", "ugly"…

Critics. The words that hurt the child are also the criticisms, even jokingly said, by the parents. "Can't you do this like the world?", "I hope you're not wrong again", "You're able to do it" he aspires to it, as some would think. On the contrary, they make him believe in these criticisms, to believe that he is not in a better condition - so it seriously affects his self-image.

The child is stimulated positively, through support, support and appreciation. If something fails him, criticism will only make him have an even worse opinion of himself and suffer, believing that he can do nothing. But you can help and stimulate him, by saying something like "try again and you'll succeed, you'll see", "it's okay if you don't succeed at first, try again".

Order. Yes, you are the parent and the child must listen to you! But you thought about the importance of politeness - you can't teach him to be polite unless you are polite to him! You can't ask him to respect you unless you respect him in the first place!

Certain orders, especially said in an authoritarian and strict tone, are words that hurt the child, make him feel like a slave, good to bring you the glass of water and that's it ara Without "take and take the garbage", "bring me now water from the fridge "," go to the kiosk to get the newspaper "! Try a "please", a "be kind"… Only this way the child will feel valued and will learn to behave with others.

Screams. Not only the words hurt the child, but also the tone in which they are said! So try to keep a calm and quiet tone, even if you scold and disapprove. Don't scream hysterically, because you don't have the desired effect! It is known that if you want to impose and disapprove of behavior, much more useful is a calm tone, low, low, strict, not hysterical screams.

Don't lose control of a child. Yes, sometimes you are overwhelmed by all the chores of the day and the baby can be the last drop that drives you crazy. But control yourself in front of him, take a break and breathe, talk to him calmly and then unload in solitude as you can…

Don't think that screaming at children is normal and that everyone does it! Many adults remember with displeasure and say to themselves "I will not scream like my mother did"… Do you solve something by screaming?…

Threats. Sometimes, parents have no better ideas and do not know how to impose their child except through threats! Especially when the child is not listening, you may be tempted to impose yourself in front of him or her threatening. "Without a TV for a week", "go to your room", "don't get dessert", "if you're not good, come bau-bau" or a classic and horrible "if you don't do what I tell you, I'll give you gypsies"!

These are words that hurt the child and do not make him respect you. A little secret: don't persuade him to do what you want with threats! Maybe he's listening to you right now, but he's secretly planning revenge and thinking (or out loud) how much he hates you. To try to persuade him to do something that he refuses, more useful, much more useful is active listening and trying to find out how the child feels, why he refuses a certain task.

Swearing. Even addressed to people on TV, coworkers on the phone, the driver in front, swearing and vulgar words have no place with a child. Not only will he learn them and of course, he will imitate them, but swearing creates a tense, negatively charged atmosphere that affects his mood.

Under no circumstances use swear words between family members - the child will think that you do not love and respect each other!

Praises and comparisons. Certain words hurt the child, but they are not addressed directly to him. These are certain praises addressed to other children - siblings or colleagues. For example, when a mother says, "How well your brother is doing?" Or when a father says "how well your colleague plays football".

The child understands from these praises that the other child is better, more valuable, more valued by his parents than him! Try not to praise other children with this little one. And especially try not to compare him with other children. Comparison between brothers arouses rivalry and resentment.

And the comparison with other children around him only makes him learn to constantly compare himself with others, to see what is better and worse than others. But learning to build your self-image through social comparison is not healthy. Self-image must be built from within and not by comparisons with others.

Ugly words between parents. When you argue and say bad things to each other and your child can hear you, they affect him greatly. For the child, a stable and safe home means harmonious communication. Screams and ugly words from one parent to another parent make his parents fearful and even angry.

Why can't they understand each other? Why don't I speak nice? Why is it not respected? The child who hears his parents arguing or swearing suffers!