"Women Will Date Ugly Men"

What kind of men get the most love and attention from women?

Whatever you think the answer is, the real answer might surprise you.

Check out this short video by comedian Zainab Johnson. Just watch and listen to it because it's less than 30 seconds long:

Zainab is talking about a universal difference between men and women.

While women generally have to use their looks to be desired by men, men can be desired by women by developing a skill called charm, even if we're ugly.

Check out some of these women's Youtube Shorts comments:

My mom waa JUST telling me that men will NEVER pick personality over looks like a woman will 💀 - @blaackberry

You know what this means? It means that women will definitely pick personality over looks way more often than men would.

I ain't realize my ex was ugly until 4 years after the fact. He just smelt good, talked good, dressed good, f good 😂😂😂😂 - @FaithfullyAri_

You know what this means? It means that women won't even recognize that you're ugly if you present yourself well in other ways.

So true I feel like women are more forgiving in looks if he checks majority of our other boxes 😂 - @user-yv5ti6lo9q

You know what this means? It means that women's attraction to men is far more holistic than we might think.

Not me it's not a trick at all if he's nice, provides and protects and loyal that's a good dude! - @earthzone85

While Zainab used the word "trick" for comedic exaggeration, many women recognize that they are affected by personality more than looks.

This is so true it hurts my heart. 😂 - @yellowlaffytaffy

More confirmation straight from the horse's mouth.

My friend rated my crush a 2 out of 10. He's got the most confident strut, he's an ambitious person, smart as heck, is an absolute gentleman and stuck to his values. If that ain't good enough I don't know what is. - @agirlfromanothersideoftheworld

More confirmation straight from the horse's mouth.

This is facts. I've dated ugly men before because of their personality. I have never heard or seen a guy do that lol - @kk-xi8li

More confirmation straight from…you get it.

This comment is a little more interesting:

Literally me with my ex…i was the only one that didn't see it - @MrsCiera

This comment, along with some others, talked about being blind to a man's ugliness because of how great he was in other ways.

If a woman looks beautiful to us, we become attracted, and we become even more charmed and maybe even fall for her if her personality is also very appealing.

It often works the other way around for women, though:

We men can actually start looking more handsome and attractive to a woman after she starts falling for our charms.

This stuff is common sense for dudes who have dated a lot, and actually interacted with tons of women.

"Incels" or "blackpillers" who have barely talked to any women in real life have no idea. They think these cases are all about money (or status), thinking that women are all just a bunch of hypergamous gold diggers. What a bunch of clowns.

No matter how ugly or short or poor you are, if you develop a charming personality and learn how to express it well (it's a choice), you can attract a ton of hot women. You might not be able to attract every woman, but it will be more than you could ever handle.

The same goes for every other potentially positive aspect of a man. No matter how ugly or short or insufferable he is, if he's rich enough, he can attract many women. No matter how short or insufferable or poor he is, if he's handsome enough, he can attract many women. No matter how ugly or insufferable or poor he is, if he's tall enough, he can attract many women.

Guess which one helps the most with both seduction and healthy relationships?

It's personality by a mile. It's not even close.

I'm speaking from personal experience, and any man who has dated a lot of women will say the same. Incels will argue against this point with their misguided theories and misogynistic fantasies of how they think the world works, but their lack of real experience invalidates their points.

It's absolutely wild how these guys refuse to listen to men who figured out how to get what they couldn't get.

However, it's not about being a "nice guy."

Both sides get things wrong about this. On one end of the extreme, you have people thinking that you have to be a sycophantic "nice guy" who sucks up to women. On the other extreme end, you have "red pill" people thinking you have to be some sort of psychopathic narcissist with an avoidant attachment style and no empathy.

To be a good seducer who can also have a healthy relationship whenever you want, you need to be grounded in your masculinity without being a toxic piece of sh*t. Rather than sucking up to women, have clear boundaries in accordance with your core values. Rather than being an avoidant jerk out of insecurity, work on developing a secure attachment style out of love for women.

That's exactly the kind of instruction my book covers.

It's also pretty much the main theme for my blog as a whole, so watch out for all the future posts here if that's something you're interested in.

This article was originally published on Medium.