Women’s Struggles — From a Boy’s Perspective

“Maybe i was just crazy, maybe it was the 60s, or maybe I was just a girl interrupted”

When I think about mental health, this phrase always comes to mind:

Whose fault are a person’s mental problems?

Is it theirs?

The environment’s?

Their genes?

Maybe society also has a big influence on the individual, trapping them in a cage… defining what is right, wrong, appropriate, or inappropriate for them… and then appropriate consequences follow.

I remember a classmate of mine — she was a bit masculine in school, and after that, the classmates called her a “weightlifter.” In reality, she is a close friend of mine, and I noticed how she even started to change her own attitude towards those classmates.

The nickname, supposedly given in jest, was not entirely a joke.

Personally, if I were in her place, before every action I took, I’d probably think—

“Don’t forget to act feminine.”

I would reflect on that, but it shouldn’t require reflection. I think many women today live like this — to avoid becoming the target of criticism, it is necessary not to step outside the norms.

And yet, what norms?

Stigma and Social Expectations

Women must be feminine, behave properly in public, and have a “female” job. This is very illogical to me, as a man.

They say, if a woman has a child, her job should be easy so she has time to care for the child.

In my opinion, if someone told me to do something easy just because I was a woman, I wouldn’t like it. I think these “rules” negatively affect women’s self-esteem, personal growth, and confidence.

They also say about boys that they should act masculine, and we’re also limited — but it’s rare to be criticized for working in any field. (Still, I don’t think any man would ever start working in a nail salon.)

As a boy, I’ve noticed that Gen Z women often struggle to talk openly about menstruation. Why is it still shameful to mention this in society? Like, are we talking about the first rule of Fight Club?

There was a time when I didn’t understand what women meant when they said they felt bad during their period.

At first, I didn’t know much about this, but after learning, I try not to make girls uncomfortable and make them feel that it’s biology — nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

One essential component, in my opinion, is conversation. It won’t solve everything, but by openly talking and supporting women’s positions, you create a comfortable environment that helps women express themselves.

Limited Personal Freedom

Why should only women take care of children or wash dishes? I have often heard neighbors say a woman “abandoned” her child. I always laughed at that.

In reality, the mother cared for the child just as much as the father. People just thought the mother had more responsibilities and made a big fuss about it.

If I were that mother, I would feel unfairly treated.

Lately, more women say they don’t want to have children. Society responds with criticism: “How can you not want children?”

Society punishes women more than men.

Violence

The other day, my neighbor’s wife ran away from home.

It turned out the man was abusing his wife — threatening to kill her if she escaped. Eventually, the wife managed to leave. This woman really made me think.

It seems she was the face of women in society — despite danger and trauma, they continue to fight for themselves. I admired the wife’s courage, but it was also very sad to realize that they even need such courage.

Changing Attitudes Among Gen Z Boys

I’ve also noticed that most Gen Z boys have a very different attitude. They openly discuss women’s rights, defend them, and most importantly, see gender equality as natural.

Dress Code

I often overhear how “provocatively” dressed girls are gossiped about. Not women — girls.

When my female friends wear short skirts, I never think anyone “invited” anything.

But I do worry: I hope no one will harass them. It doesn’t make sense, and I know it.

It’s like a defensive mechanism. I imagine if I think this way, then what chaos is in women’s minds? Or maybe I’m just dramatic.

In villages, this argument happens often: “She dressed provocatively,” or “What did she wear?” And it turns into conflict. In the end, either the parent scolds the girl or the neighbors do.

I often thought—if I were a girl, I would dress exactly as I wanted, as a form of protest and struggle. No pain, no gain.

But maybe I say this so freely because I’m a boy.

This gives me hope.

About Boys

Boys have problems too, some of which connect with what you’re experiencing.

Today, it’s hard to be a young boy. Among teenage boys, the “thug mentality” hasn’t died yet.

I always think—this doesn’t affect girls.

But boys? If our behavior is not liked for some reason, they advise us “how to act,” and sometimes it even leads to violence.

So, to survive, a boy must think twice before every step in such an environment…