Why did you leave me?

I don’t know where to start. It seems like it was just yesterday when I told him that I loved him. I mean we’ve known each other for years. We grew up in church together and he was my first boyfriend. Years went by and we lost contact With each other but the way I felt never changed. Every since that day I don’t think I looked at life the same. I remember it like it was yesterday when I got word that you were dead. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing or what I was seeing on the news. It said it was a home invasion or a robbery gone bad at the front door and that bastard took your life. He took my first love my first boyfriend my heart. I literally cried for a week straight my eyes were puffy they were red and I Still couldn’t believe what happened. I feel so bad for your mother and your father and your kids I couldn’t even imagine what they were feeling and I didn’t know how they were going to get through this. And to think about it your brothers, one brother was in jail do you have a brother lives out in the streets on drugs I just didn’t know how they would take it. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you that’s how much you implanted in my heart. I mean who could ever forget their first love? There are days that I wish I could change what happened there are days I wish I could go back in time so when we were getting older and stay more in contact with you. But I can’t change that. I still cry for you my heart still breaks and I try every day to live life to the fullest knowing that every day is not promised your life could be taken at any time. And I have to keep reminding myself that you have to live life and not only fair me before my kids I don’t wanna wake up one morning and either my kids are gone or they wake up one morning and I’m gone. Sometimes I have dreams about you and us having a family together but I got to keep moving forward and live daily as if you were here. I love you to the moon and back. I know if I could visit heaven I would come visit you. I would come and talk to you about I was growing up and what we did at the time that we were separated. I will also talk about your children and how much they’ve grown. I think the last time I saw you was when your son got baptized at church. You were so happy because you saying that he was trying to take that step to live a better life especially at a young age and I know for a fact that you love your kids and they love you. Your mother and your father misses you I know your brothers miss you. hy did you have to leave me behind? You were my first love and will always be in my heart. We were always together no matter where we went when we were in church. You drifted away from church as you got older, but when you showed up to church I would be overjoyed and excited to see you. The day I found out that you were killed my heart broke into a million pieces. Although we never made it to the relationship status, I still hold you in my heart. Lord knows I wish I could rewind time I would. I miss you dearly and love you more. Until we meet again, this is goodbye.