Which One

It is often the simple gestures that are easily overlooked. It is easy to take for granted something that is practically seen everywhere, but not often as deeply contemplated as it should be. The best example would be the picture shown above. The only reason I gave any second looks to this two-year old picture is because the complex thoughts about a topic like good deeds, is what sparked my decision to look twice at this photograph and really think about the fundamental question a topic such as this brings to mind: Am I a good person?

Most of the time, the reason why we want to help is because a lot of people will see me and know that I am a decent person. It might seem like a selfish reason, but inately, all acts of kindness are selfish in a certain way unless you help everyone all at the same time despite your own shortcomings and we all know that only rich people can do something like that but won't.

In which case, what constitutes as a good deed for a common plebian individual such as myself? I like to think that good deeds are the fundamental core for someone to not be good themselves, but to bring good to the world. Isn't that why we love to read about badass guys who fuck everyone off but then find that instance that they save someone innocent who was going through bullshit and gave them a more decent chance at a better life?

As someone who is a sucker for those types, I acknowledge that I don't do good deeds because the feeling comes from how good I am but because of the learnt behavior I have received by watching my older sister save my life. Literally.

I am the second oldest out of a pack of four sisters, but before I got middle child syndrome, I was the youngest in the house and my older sister was the responsible one. At the time, I was around five and my sister who is 3 years older than me was eight. We lived in an apartment complex and my parents were well-off enough that we could afford a housemaid who I will say right now: was not a good person. Beyond all the events that occurred that ultimately led to the person in question getting fired; the first time that I discovered that the world is not a good and safe place was when the maid for some reason decided to take me and my sister with her to a shady neighbourhood.

I don't remember clearly what occurred in the overall story, not even how we returned home but I distinctly remember when there was an instance where the very dangerous dog that was loose in the shady neighbourhood spotted me and my older sister. Once we heard the barking along with the dog running over to us, the maid who wasn't far off from us started running and left us behind. Yeah, that really happened.

As I turned to run and as a little kid with short legs, it inevitably occurred that I would trip and fall on my face. But when I picked my head off the floor and saw my older sister stop a few feet in front of me and turned back to see that I had fallen, I remember seeing the face of an eight-year-old kid turn into the determined face of a warrior who ran back to me, picked me off the floor, held my hand with gentle strength and pushed me to run as fast as my little legs could carry me to safety.

At that moment, I thought: "I want to be the kind of person my sister showed me I could be."

Which is why I made the life decision to not be the bystanders in the picture, or the tree that bent to the force of nature, or even the person that sat on the bent tree showing the world that I am a fighter, but the tree that in the middle of the picture stood tall and supportive of that bent tree.

Though it feels lovely to be thanked for our good deeds, it feels like the right way to go about it is to do what you must whenever you feel you can so that the tree that can't stand tall might have a chance to grow tall again because of you. And if it would happen that I can get a coconut out of it to share with my sisters, then all's well that ends well.