When You Feel Resentment Towards Your Partner, How Do You Feel?

When you have resentment towards your partner, a state of inner irritation and frustration, which increases over time and gets richer with each new mistake, the relationship is anyway, only happy not!

Having resentment implies that you have kept some grievances in you for a long time, to which others have been added along the way and so on - and now any escape of your partner will make you jump, drive you crazy, gnaw on your insides…

When you have resentments towards your partner, it means that you have been keeping some more or less important things in you for a long time, which it was better to discuss and try to solve. Because without kicking them out, they have grown in you to the stage of latent anger, anger that can lead to a boom at any moment!

Anything that irritates you, bothers you, insults you, or makes you feel bad in general should be put on the table and discussed honestly! Otherwise, that will not go away on its own - on the contrary, it will grow chubby!

Even if you don't think things could change for the better, even if you don't think your partner would care about what irritates you, it's very important to always tell them about these things - first and foremost, to unloads you (not angrily, but rationally!) and to be open with your partner.

And who knows, if you learn to express your dissatisfaction constructively, your partner will learn to listen to you - which means learning not to say "it's your fault" (you already start with an accusation that puts the other on the defensive), nor "you're a fool" (start attacking negatively); but try to express as objectively as possible your state, your emotions, how it makes you feel what your partner is doing "I feel upset / ignored/stressed / unloved when you say/do that ".

Unfortunately, if you let the dissatisfaction gather without realizing it and share it with your partner, then you end up having resentments towards him. Which prevents you from communicating properly with your partner and trying to make things better.

On the contrary, when you have resentments, you become blasphemous, quarrelsome, and emotionally estranged from your partner. And you keep it in you until you feel that the lid has been put on and you explode destructively for you, your partner, and your relationship.

When you have resentment towards your partner:

When some small habits irritate you only a little, you overlook them, without telling your partner how you feel. It is a deceptive process - because it starts with small things that seem unimportant. You think, "What good is a website if it simply" blends in "with everything else out there?

But the more time passes, the more you wake up to that little thing starting to bother you more and more, to the point where you can't stand it anymore! Therefore, it is best to draw the partner's attention when he says or does something irritating or offensive: but constructively, without making him feel attacked.

When you are not sure about the relationship. When you don't know exactly how you are if you have a stable couple, a future together. You wonder how solid your relationship is. And you feel the need for more stability and security - but resentment is born, because your partner doesn't seem to notice, doesn't understand, and doesn't need as much as you.

Again, the best way is to discuss how you feel, not to ignore and hope that things will improve on their own.

When you feel unappreciated. When do you resent your partner? When you feel that you are not a priority for him, you feel neglected, you do not feel that your partner appreciates you, you do not feel that he is grateful for your relationship.

He may not tell you that he never loves you; perhaps he behaves in his most distant way; maybe it's a bit closed in on itself; he may have forgotten the gestures of affection; maybe he behaves a little indifferently, forgetting what you tell him or forgetting to tell you some things.

However, not feeling valued, appreciated by your partner can only lead to resentment. And the worst part is that your partner sometimes doesn't even realize that the way he treats you makes you feel that way!

You always do everything. When do you often resent your partner? When you live together (and more often when you have a family) and he/she does not get involved in household chores, you always let them do it.

You start to wonder nervously and ironically "what would be more important to have - probably to stay in the city in vain"; you start to feel overwhelmed, overwhelmed, and more, not even appreciated for all the work done.

Talk to your partner, ask for help as clearly as possible, repeat if necessary; but don't forget to try to look at it objectively and from the other person's perspective: is he wasting his time in vain while you are busy, or does he have his responsibilities? Many times, what we do seems to us the most difficult, complicated, and important - and we forget that the other person is also overwhelmed by his own business…

You are not free to do what you want. Resentments towards your partner and towards the relationship, in general, can also appear when you feel that you have lost your independence, your freedom when you feel somewhat caught up in the relationship.

Do you think that because of the couple you could not do different things - but did your partner forbid you to do them or did you give them up? No sense in telling you now - I don't wanna ruin the surprise. Of course, some things - like dating other people - are forbidden to you; this means a couple's relationship.

Instead, you can do other things now, and if your partner twists his nose, explain that it is important for each of you to remain independent.

Power in the couple. When do resentments arise? When you always feel dominated by your partner. You may even feel inferior (from a point of view: attractiveness, intelligence, money) and this feeling of inferiority gives you frustration.

And if the partner is always the one who makes the decisions, if what he/she wants is always more important than what you want, if you feel "under the slipper", you will constantly gather resentments.

The solution - again, communication; but also to realize that there is no point in comparing yourself with your partner and feeling above or below him/her - you are partners, not rivals.