When we grow older, We grow apart

I knew my best friend since we were in pre-K. We had our whole life planned out already. But once we hit high school... well once they always hit high school, they always act different. We change as we get older. We know more, we see more, we are expected to do and learn more. But at the end of the day we are all still kids, we still have so much to learn, we have a whole life ahead of us that we need to experience. And I am not blaming her but Im blaming her because of what she put me through. This is my story...

The last memory where we were smiling and It was just the two of us laughing until we peed our pants and we would hold our stomach and drop to the ground because of how much it hurt was in middle school. We are in 10th grade now going into 11th this year. Drama started when it was the second semester of 9th grade and she had a boyfriend.

Ugh, boyfriends ruin everything but it was kinda both their fault I am like I am I just had never seen it before. When she got a boyfriend she was his first, he told me. At first it was ok because he didn't really hung out with her and I would tell her that they should hang out, that we should be a group, sure why not? The worst advice I have ever given and trust me when I tell you this, I DO NOT GIVE BAD ADVICE! I tell myself might as well become a therapist because of the good advice I give. They started to hang out more but once they hung out he wouldn't let me hang out with her. He wanted her all to himself.

She started to stop talking to me and I would see them looking at me as if they were talking about me. I started to spend more time with this other friend group but it wasn't the same. I told her that I didn't like how he was keeping me away from her and she told me that it was fine and that the next day she would only hang out with me, She "Promised". When it was lunch I waited for her to only see her boyfriend also waiting for her. This is what went through my mind...

"Im sorry but it's me and her day"

"Did she not tell him to f*** off?"

And so much more. She finally came out and I was expect for her to come to me but instead she went to him and then looked at me and I was like wow. I left and all I did was just stare at them. They stared at me back. I got home and she texted me. She told me she was sorry and all I did was forgave her. I thought maybe, just maybe one day I'll get to spend with her but after that she would only text me after school and stopped hanging out with me in school to only hang out with him. later they started getting into arguments and she would come to me for advice. One time I will never forget when she told me that she wanted to break up with him and that she wanted me to do it. He never talked to me and I never talked to him so this would be the first. I did what she told me to do only to find out later in the conversation she was texting him that she loves him and I go on and text her and she says that she doesn't want to end it. Thats when I knew she was toxic and I needed to stop hanging out with her and waiting for her.

She did so many things to me that I grew up to might as well be the most depressing person ever. I was never like this she turned me into someone who started to think I had a illness and she put that in my head. Everything was competition to her. So I stopped hanging out with her and till this day we do not talk to each other. I found myself when we stopped becoming friends. I made new friends who are the most supportive and the most loving people I have ever met. they were 1000000% times better than she ever was. I learned to grow as a person and I learned how to treat other people because of it.

We faded apart but that was ok because I found myself and I started to believe in myself not like when I was her friend and she made me feel like crap. Not being her friend was the best decision I made because I am better off without her. I forgave her of course because once I forgave her she became someone who was from my past now and I started to move forwards.