When is it too Late to Apologize?

Dear Lex,

3 years ago my cousin and i had a fight. We have not talked since that night. A couple of months after that, I realized how wrong I was in the situation. Lately i been thinking about the situation but now I am wondering if it is too late to apologize. We have been in a lot of small fights but after this one we just never talked again. I do miss her but it is sort of embarressing after not talking all of these years. She may not even text me back if I hit her up

Sincerely,

K

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Dear K,

I have been in your situation so many times and I am sure that we are not the only ones. Unfortunately this answer can vary depending on the person that you are apologizing too but in general, it is never too late to apologize. If you know that you are wrong, nothing is bad about attempting to making amends. I once read on twitter that apologizing months+ after is just one's way of trying to clear their own guilt. Whenever you look at it that way, it makes the apology come off as insincere because of self-surving reasons. You will have to ask yourself, why do I want to apologize? Is it because you miss your cousin or is it because you do feel guilty or some other reason?

Either way, if something is on my mind too long, I always feel as though it is just better to do something about what is in my head, rather than try and avoid it. I would definitely apologize, but I would also let my cousin know that I am not apologizing just so that we can start talking again. I would say that I am apologizing because I realize that I was wrong but let my pride get in the way of speaking up. However the cousin replies is not up to you, so you can not get upset with her response. Even if they say the opposite of what you were expecting, you will have to just accept it for what it is. If she doesn't reply, at least you can look back and say that you put yourself out there.

Lastly, if you are feeling embarresed about it, there is nothing you can do besides ry changing your perspective. Help yourself realiz that their is nothing embaressing by doing the right thing. It is not about if she replies or not; it is about doing the right thing and admitting that you were wrong. Sure, she probably knows that you know that you were wrong but saying it AND acknoledging how you made her feel is totally different.

In some situations it is better to just let people go whenever you realize that maybe you just don't click, whether it is family or not. Apologizing does not mean that you are asking for them to still be in your life though; it just means that you realize that you are wrong and want to acknoledge that.

This is also seomthing that I struggle with so I am going to wish you much luck. I hope that you apologize, regardless of the reason. Even if it is for the sake of your own concious... at least it is a step in the right direction.

Goodluck!

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