When Caregiving Turns Deadly

The past two years had been rough to say the least. Her husband's dementia seemed to develop overnight. This man who was once a president of a large corporation couldn't speak coherent sentences and hid things everywhere. He had trouble remembering who people were and often became paranoid. It was like she had to take care of a lost child. Eventually, she and her children decided it would be best to put her husband in a memory care facility. Now he could be adequately cared for and she didn't have to stress over constantly watching him. She would have more time to take care of herself.

Only two months after her husband was put in the facility, she passed away. She was my grandma. They were married for 61 years.

Memory-related problems are absolutely brutal. According to the CDC, current estimates suggest that around 5.8 million people in the United States have Alzheimer's disease or other related dementias. This number is only expected to increase in the future.

Yet, along with all these cases come the vulnerable caregivers. The Alzheimer Association suggests that around 83% of the help it takes to care for someone with dementia is provided by family members, friends, and other unpaid caregivers. These are people like my grandma who often ignore their own health needs and problems to take care of their spouse or family member.

In my grandma's case, she was able to hold on just long enough. Her undying love for her husband cradled her body until she was able to get him somewhere safe where he could be cared for by paid professionals who are trained to help people with dementia. After he left is when her body started to give out. She was weak from not eating and getting little sleep. The stress of caring for him had weakened her immune system and left her more vulnerable to infection. She couldn't walk two steps without getting out of breath. The toll of taking care of him got the best of her.

My grandma is not alone. Many caregivers experience similar outcomes and have similar stories. These forgotten ones encounter twice as many emotional, financial, and physical difficulties compared to caregivers taking care of people without dementia. These people often feel a high level of burden and have high rates of psychological morbidity (a fancy term for mental illness). Numerous studies continue to illustrate the negative mental impact of caring for someone with dementia due to the multiple primary stressors they face. These stressors can include things such as day and nighttime wandering, emotional outbursts, and inappropriate behaviors. For instance, my grandpa would sometimes wander out of the house, giving my grandma another reason to worry.

Along with the psychological effects come the physical effects. These caregivers show an increased risk for cardiovascular problems, weakened immunity, higher levels of chronic health conditions, and more. Additionally, it has been shown that dementia caregivers have a poorer immune response to vaccines which could be detrimental in this age of Covid-19.

I know I just threw out a bunch of scary and depressing statistics. I would like to say that there are things you can do to help caregivers to hopefully alleviate this burden that they face. It is so important to reach out. I know that my grandma deeply appreciated when someone could just sit and talk with her for a little while, even if it was just for a few minutes. It helps to emphasize that they are not alone and that you understand the challenges of what they are going through. I’ll say it again and again, but even the tiniest amount of help or support can go a long way.

Interacting and communicating with a person that has dementia can be incredibly difficult. When talking with my grandpa, it is often difficult to understand him and his needs, and it’s hard to convey information to him. It is important to remember that we can’t change the person and to adopt a positive mindset before interacting with them. When communicating, make sure you have their full attention and that you send a clear message. Remember that you are trying your best and that everyday will be different. My heart goes out to you and I understand the struggles you are facing. For more caregiver tips, this link from caregiver.org has great advice.

Scientists are still uncertain about the full underlying causes behind Alzheimer's and other dementias. However, there is some research that suggests that there are some things you can do to prevent dementia or its onset. However, I want to emphasize that none of these steps can provide a guaranteed solution. According to Alzheimer's.gov, like for many other things, staying physically healthy is key to helping prevent dementia. This includes controlling high blood pressure, managing blood sugar, maintaining a healthy weight, eating a healthy diet, and staying mentally active.

All I can say is that I hope one day we find a cure for this horrible disease, and I hope I’ve opened your mind a little to the struggles that caregivers go through. I full heartedly believe that my grandma would still be here today if my grandpa didn’t have dementia. So let’s hug our family members and search for a cure!

References

https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/Alz-Greater-Risk.html

https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/facts-figures?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paidsearch&utm_campaign=google_grants&utm_content=alzheimers&gclid=CjwKCAiAlfqOBhAeEiwAYi43F1xGGyIVqL3mr5v3ckZKvpV3BLaKTaXXkm22oq90aHDBput7RSttfRoCKIoQAvD_BwE

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181916/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3774150/

https://www.alzheimers.gov/taking-action/reduce-your-risk