When a Friend Intervenes In The Relationship 

When there are 3 in the couple - we will not refer here to the polygamy situation, but a much more common situation, but quite common: when a third person intervenes in the couple. Most often it is about the couple's partners plus a close friend of theirs. Specifically, it is the situation in which you spend most of your time in threes and not in threes…

When there are 3 in a couple…

Do you want to be with your boyfriend or girlfriend because he or she is single, has not had a partner for a long time, or has just gotten out of a relationship… It is normal to spend time with a friend who needs you / support and encourage her, but if a longer period passes and you find that, out of 5 meetings, at least 3 are… in 3, then you should try to find the moments of intimacy in 2.

Because this situation can be prolonged endlessly: your boyfriend/girlfriend gets used to spending time with you, and it already seems normal to you, it seems obvious that he/she will come with you too… Of course, you have to be good friends - but this does not mean that you are permanently attached to a third party, forgetting about your privacy.

When you live with another person who is your friend, sometimes you end up doing almost everything together: have breakfast in threes, watch movies in threes, go shopping in threes, have dinner in threes, spend the evening in threes…

But you two? Even if you like to share the apartment with someone else and it is financially advantageous, in any couple, the partners need space and time for them. You can't even think that you are a couple living together: you are more of a group of three colleagues living together. Divide the bed in two only at night, otherwise divide the daily life in three… It is not a harmful situation, as long as you can make sure that you enjoy enough time in two.

Why do 3 appear in a couple?

Of course, it is often about what has been mentioned: you want to be good friends, so invite a friend to stay with you who needs company and support. But if you end up doing most of the things in threes and you are rarely left alone, then you have to ask yourself how you got into this situation!

Is the boyfriend or girlfriend the one who intervened in the couple? Specifically, is he or she a person who comes to you often and who seems to be always on your side? You would often prefer time to two, but can't you tell your friend for fear of hurting him?

It happens - but this friend must, after a while, try to solve his problems, not run away from them always being with you! Try to pair him/her with someone, try to encourage him/her to go out into the world, to look for a partner.

Try to tell her gently that sometimes you have a couple of plans that day - you get the idea. Because you just can't always be with someone else, the couple's partners need privacy!

Aren't you the ones who wanted another person next to you? Sometimes it's not that your boyfriend or girlfriend can't do it alone or that he or she has nothing to do without you! You are the ones who need someone to spend most of your time with you. Why?

Because you are afraid of discovering that only in two, you get bored, you have nothing to talk about or do together! You have become accustomed to having another person there to fill in the gaps that may exist between the two of you.

That person is like a lever, a safety measure, a connection between the two of you.

Because you are afraid that if you spend too much time alone, you will get bored or annoy each other! If this is the case then you should ask questions about your relationship.

Why are you afraid you won't get along? Why do you think you wouldn't have fun together? Do you have anything in common that binds you apart from your mutual friend?

Or you may be going through a more difficult time in the relationship, in which you quarrel too often - and another person close to you will make you forget about problems and feel better… It is the person who reduces the tension between you. But this is not a real solution!