What if Leaving Isn't a Loss, but an Act of Self-Love?

Leaving isn't a loss; it's the feeling of finally loving yourself.

When you love the wrong person, the feeling of loss is incomprehensible. It's not because you aren't good enough, nor is it because you've loved too much or foolishly. It's because you've poured your entire self into a relationship that was already flawed. It's not that you didn't see the cracks; you did. But while you felt bad for them, you told yourself, "It's okay, I'll fix it. I'll hold it together." What was the result? After holding on for too long, you began to break, shattering carefully and silently until you were unsure if the you who once believed in love and deserved to be loved properly still existed.

Many people in such relationships repeatedly ask themselves, "Am I too sensitive? Am I not gentle enough? Am I too clingy?" But my dear, you must know that when a relationship causes you to constantly doubt yourself, belittle yourself, and even deny the light you once possessed, it's not love. It's simply a long-term emotional drain.

You think he's not replying because he's busy, but really, he just doesn't want to. You thought that if you held on a little longer, got a little closer, he'd see how much you loved him, but instead, he only found you increasingly annoying. You constantly lowered your standards, but instead of being cherished, you became accustomed to being ignored.

But I want to tell you, none of this is your fault. Loving the wrong person is like wearing the wrong pair of shoes. It's not that there's something wrong with your feet; it's that the shoes don't fit. You're not warm enough; it's that your warmth isn't being properly preserved. You're not beautiful enough; it's that your beauty is being overlooked by the wrong person.

We often learn to love others too early and love ourselves too late. Especially when we fall in love with someone who constantly makes us feel "not good enough," love becomes a constant tug-of-war to prove our worth. But my dear, true love should allow you to relax, not to be nervous and cautious.

Leaving doesn't mean you've lost. Leaving means you're finally willing to admit that a life without being loved and cherished is no longer worthy of who you are. You finally realize that the only person who deserves gentle treatment is yourself.

I know you're hurting. I know you're still reluctant to let go. I know you still secretly check his long-lost account at night to see how he's doing. But remember, the feelings you once cherished will eventually be cherished by someone who knows how to cherish them. Before that person arrives, you must first love yourself.

Healing takes time. You can cry, get angry, and question life; it's all normal. You don't need to force yourself to get better quickly. Just promise me one thing: never again so easily give your warmth and tenderness to someone who doesn't understand.

You are good. You've always been good. It's just that person who doesn't understand. Maybe he'll regret it and turn back, but that's no longer your responsibility. Your responsibility is to pick yourself back up, bit by bit, and then live the life you want with more tenderness and determination.

We all need to practice one thing: putting yourself first before loving others. Loving yourself is never selfish; it's how you show the world your value. So, if you happen to be hurt by such a love today, come and sit here with me and cry for a while. Then, when you are ready, we will stand up together and, with a stronger and gentler presence, move toward your own happiness.

Thank you for reading!