What I Learned about Friendship

The Importance of Finding Your People

As humans, we are social creatures by nature. Connection is not just a desire—it’s a necessity. We need people to listen to us, to share in our joys, to guide us, and to support us in times of trouble. Our relationships play a significant role in shaping our lives and our sense of belonging. But while we crave connection, the company we keep matters profoundly. Surrounding ourselves with the wrong people can not only be uncomfortable but also harmful to our emotional well-being.

One of life’s crucial lessons is understanding that you cannot change your friends, but you can change who you choose to be friends with. It may be difficult to recognize when a friendship is no longer serving you, but if being around certain people makes you question your worth or leaves you feeling drained, it might be time to step back. There is no shame in walking away from connections that feel one-sided or unkind.

When you distance yourself from relationships that weigh you down, you open the door to finding people who truly accept and love you for who you are—not for who they want you to be. This process isn’t always easy, but it’s worthwhile. You deserve to find your people—the ones who make you feel like you belong, who lift you up, and who bring out the best in you.

The Power of Positive Connections

Having good people around you is especially vital when life is challenging. Good friends can provide the support and encouragement we may not even realize we need. They can help us navigate our struggles and celebrate our triumphs. More importantly, they can help us discover new dimensions of ourselves—qualities and strengths we didn’t know we had.

Good relationships are transformative. They allow us to see the world from different perspectives and encourage personal growth. The best friends inspire us to be better while simultaneously loving us for exactly who we are.

Understanding the Seasons of Friendship

One of the truths about life is that people come and go. Friendships don’t always last forever, and that’s okay. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault when a friendship ends. Often, it’s simply a matter of life taking people in different directions. We grow, our priorities shift, and sometimes we no longer align with those we were once close to.

This doesn’t make past friendships any less meaningful. Some friendships serve a purpose for a season, teaching us valuable lessons or providing companionship during a specific phase of life. Others are lifelong but low-maintenance, rekindled effortlessly after years apart. Both types are valuable in their own ways.

For instance, I have friends I haven’t spoken to in years because we attended different colleges and pursued distinct paths. But when we reconnected after graduation, it was as if no time had passed. Conversely, I’ve had friendships that naturally drifted apart and never found their way back.

What sustains a friendship is mutual effort. When both people are willing to nurture the connection—when it’s not one-sided or unrequited—there’s always the potential for a friendship to thrive, even across time and distance.

Friendship in Your Twenties and Beyond

Now that I’m in my twenties, I’ve come to value the importance of having different friends for different aspects of my life. No one person can fulfill all our needs, and that’s perfectly fine. I have friends I rely on for fun and lighthearted moments, friends I confide in about personal challenges, and friends with whom I share professional aspirations. Each of these relationships enriches my life in a unique way.

Good friends are one of life’s greatest treasures. They’re not bound by price tags or conditions; the best people in life are truly free. They accept us as we are and encourage us to grow.

Becoming the Friend You Seek

While searching for your people, don’t forget the importance of working on yourself. Strive to become the kind of friend you would want to have. Self-awareness, kindness, and empathy are traits that not only improve your relationships but also your own sense of self-worth. When you invest in becoming a good friend, you naturally attract people who align with your values and aspirations.

In the end, finding your people is not about amassing a large circle of acquaintances. It’s about cultivating meaningful, supportive, and reciprocal relationships. These are the connections that will sustain you, inspire you, and remind you that you are never alone.

So, embrace the journey. The right people will come into your life at the right time. Until then, focus on becoming the best version of yourself—because when you do, you’ll attract the kind of friendships that truly matter.