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If you love me, love me in a way I understand.

Just because you love me doesn’t mean I feel loved by you.

By O2GPublished 12 months ago 5 min read
I DO: A Love Story in Bangkok

If You Love Me, Love Me in a Way I Understand

Does your heart flutter whenever you hear my name? When you think of books, listen to my favorite artists, eat my favorite foods, or watch the series and movies I’ve been passionately talking about, do you ever think of me? When you envision your future and all the dreams ahead, am I still there with you? Will you still choose to sit with me on the couch in the early mornings, sharing a quiet cup of coffee, as we once dreamed?

Because lately, I can’t shake this feeling that you’re drifting away from me.

You say you love me, yet I struggle to feel it. Your words—so poetic, so convincing—paint a picture of affection, but they fail to translate into actions that resonate in my heart. Words are fleeting, easy to say but harder to embody. I find myself questioning if it’s wrong to long for love in a way I can actually feel, a love that feels tangible, present, and deeply personal.

The Language of Love

Love, they say, is a universal language, yet it often feels like a puzzle with too many interpretations. They tell us, “Learn their love language, and you’ll unlock the door to their heart.” And so, I did. I studied your preferences, memorized the smallest details about your life, and adjusted my ways to ensure my love reached you in the way you needed.

But here’s the question that keeps me awake at night: Did you ever do the same for me?

It’s not that I doubt your love. I see it in your actions, but they don’t speak to me in the way I need them to. I’ve read books where love is tender, attentive, and fulfilling—where characters cherish each other in ways that make the reader believe in something extraordinary. Why does our story feel so different?

The Pain of Misaligned Love

There’s a peculiar loneliness that comes from being loved in a way that doesn’t reach you. It’s like standing in the rain, longing for someone to share an umbrella with, only to find them offering you a jacket instead. Their effort is there, but it’s misaligned with your needs.

I crave a love that feels like home—a love that wraps around me like a warm blanket on a rainy day. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts; it’s about the little things. Annotate my favorite books. Buy me a matcha drink or surprise me by making one. Watch my favorite K-dramas with me, even if they’re not your thing. Listen to my playlists, especially the ones I made just for you. Sit with me during study dates, even if we’re lost in our own worlds.

It’s not that I want you to become someone you’re not. I just want you to meet me halfway, to show me that my interests, passions, and quirks matter to you. I want to feel seen, understood, and cherished in the ways that resonate with my soul.

The Bare Minimum

Some say that loving someone in the way they want to be loved is the bare minimum. I used to believe that was true until I realized how few people are willing to offer even that. Love often feels like an uneven exchange, with one person giving more, sacrificing more, and understanding more, while the other remains in their comfort zone.

Is it too much to ask for love that feels mutual? Not just in sentiment but in effort? The time I’ve spent loving you has taught me a harsh truth: not everyone is capable of giving the love you deserve, not even the people you hold closest to your heart.

The Weight of Unspoken Expectations

Perhaps the root of this struggle lies in unspoken expectations. We enter relationships with silent hopes of being loved in a way that mirrors our deepest desires. But love isn’t a mirror—it’s a collaboration. It requires communication, patience, and a willingness to step outside your own comfort zone to meet your partner in theirs.

I’ve tried to express my needs in ways that wouldn’t overwhelm you. I’ve dropped hints, shared my thoughts, and shown you what makes me happy. Yet, I wonder if those messages got lost in translation. Or worse, if they were heard but not acted upon.

The Courage to Love Differently

Loving someone the way they want to be loved requires courage. It means stepping into unfamiliar territory and taking the time to understand what makes their heart race. It’s about putting aside your own preferences and asking, “How can I make them feel truly loved?”

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Because love, at its core, is about connection. It’s about bridging the gap between two different souls and creating a space where both can thrive.

When Love Feels One-Sided

There’s an inevitable sadness that comes from feeling like you’re the only one putting in the effort. You give and give, hoping for a breakthrough, but it never seems to come. It’s not that the other person doesn’t care; they simply don’t know how to show it in the way you need.

The question then becomes: How long do you keep trying? At what point do you accept that the love you’re receiving, no matter how genuine, may never align with the love you desire?

The Epilogue of Love

Every story has a beginning and an end, a prologue and an epilogue. Love is no different. Sometimes, the epilogue is a continuation of a beautiful journey. Other times, it’s the realization that your paths are diverging.

In our case, I hope for the former. I hope that you’ll take the time to understand my love language and meet me where I am. I hope that our story will be one of growth, understanding, and mutual effort. But if it’s not, I’ll find solace in the knowledge that I loved you as deeply and authentically as I could.

A Love Worth Fighting For

At the end of the day, love is a choice. It’s not just about feeling butterflies or sharing a connection; it’s about choosing to invest in each other, day after day. It’s about saying, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m willing to do what it takes to make you feel loved.”

If you love me, love me in a way I understand. Show me through your actions, your words, and your willingness to meet me halfway. Love isn’t perfect, but it’s in the effort that we find its beauty.

And if you can’t, I’ll learn to let go. Because I deserve a love that feels like home, not a love that leaves me out in the cold, longing for warmth that never comes.

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About the Creator

O2G

I am a storyteller exploring love, resilience, and self-discovery. Through relatable tales, I aim to inspire reflection, stir emotions, and celebrate the courage and beauty in life’s complexities.

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