What I Always Wanted

Coming out of a bad relationship can be really hard. You're ready to put up that wall again and not let anyone near it. I was more than ready to give up on love at this point. I had two wonderful children. They were the light in the darkness of it all. The very reason for my hoping and wishing that he'd do right by us. All of my efforts were useless; everyone reaches a breaking point. With the help of a good friend I decided to do what was best and left him. That is exactly when my life changed for the better. I was finally happy, finally getting back to being the real me. The woman who knows her worth and won't settle for less than what she deserves. It certainly was a beautiful rebirth. There's a local grocery store in my hometown. It's a small town and this is the one and only grocery store that's close enough to be convenient. So naturally, my family and I would shop there often. I had been on many trips to the store with my uncle. Now, my uncle is openly gay, so we definitely have to scope out all the guys, haha. So, for about a month, any time we'd go to the store he always had to mention this one cutie that worked the cash register. He was definitely cute, not that I would admit it. He was around 5'3, green eyes, dark hair, medium length with a full beard and the cutest little nose. My uncle ranted and raved over this boy obsessively. I had only commented that I didn't think he was that cute and I didn't even like beards. Yet I always avoided his line when we went shopping. Why? I don't really know. All I know is the one time I did go through his line I was too nervous to even look up at him. OK, so I suppose I thought he was pretty damn cute too.

Anyway, one evening I'm sitting in the kitchen with my uncle and a friend when I get a message from someone that I don't know online. I look at the picture and think to myself, no way. It's the guy from the store. Immediately I told my uncle and of course he was saying I better jump on it. I didn't know what to think. I would've never in a million years thought that he would be interested in me. Then boom, I'm staring at a message with a first line that read: "You're absolutely stunning." Wow, not only was this shocking because of the sender, but the fact that I was extremely surprised and flattered by the use of the word stunning. I, like many other females I'm sure, in this day and age, had thought that men were incapable of expressing themselves without profanity or some other slander. Not to mention, the things I was used to hearing from a man I loved were far from flattering. I was definitely in shock, but I opened the message and began a fascinating conversation. It turns out that the hottie on cash register two and I shared quite a lot of the same interests. Who would have known? Not me, that's for sure. We talked all night over text and had agreed on hanging out the next day. Of course when the time came, I was shitting myself, and completely overthinking as I usually do. He came over to my house and sat in the kitchen with my family. We all talked, had some laughs, it was a generally good evening. I didn't know whether or not he was actually into me, until... it was time for him to leave. I walked him outside, knowing what was coming. The kiss. We did talk about wanting to kiss in our conversations. This was our chance, outside alone. It was rather funny, actually. Both of us were so eager, our lips met so quickly that our teeth hit together. I was embarrassed. Especially because my uncle came out the door at that moment, my daughter behind him screaming for me. My uncle apologized and my mom got my daughter back inside. I apologized to him, to which his response was, "don't worry, it's fine," as he planted another kiss on me. This time we did not stop. In fact, I think we both would have been content to stay like that forever. It was amazing, exactly like what the fairy tales make it out to be, only much better. I knew right then and there that he was different, in a good way. We have now been together for six months. I thank God for blessing me with this man everyday. He treats my kids as if they are his, and in our eyes, they are. He's a wonderful father and role model for them. I can say that I never doubt his love for me. It shows in all the affection and attention he showers upon me daily. We are always telling each other how much we appreciate the other. There are minimal disagreements or arguments. Everything gets talked through in a calm manner. There is a mutual respect and it is absolutely reliving. I have always wanted a love like this, although I was convinced that it just did not exist. I'm so thankful that he came along and changed my mind. This is the love of a lifetime. Just take my word on this, it does still exist.