What Could Being Equally Yoked With Someone Really Mean?

The Bible talks about being equally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 states, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" What does this really mean? The purpose of this piece is to delve into what being equally yoked with someone really means.

When I was a kid, I remember thinking that being equally yoked with someone meant that the two people had the same religious beliefs. As an adult, I have realized that religious beliefs are certainly part of being equally yoked, however there is a lot more to it than just that!

Being equally yoked means you are both willing to grow together.

Just like the two yokes in the picture above, two people should be willing and comfortable with growing together. Being willing to grow with another human being takes vulnerability, respect, and plenty of hard work. If the other person in a relationship is not willing to “Grow as we go,” as the Ben Platt song says, then there won’t be harmony with finding someone you can be equally yoked to. We aren’t designed to be stagnant. Two adults have to be willing to grow together as they learn more about the depths of who they are and how they relate to the world.

Being equally yoked means having common goals.

Your life calling and mission are the most important things in your life to follow. I encourage young unmarried people to discover their life callings first before you decide to get married. For example, if you feel like you’re called to go into serving in foreign countries to do missionary work, then work toward getting into that first before seeking a spouse. Why do I say this? Well, chances are you will find a compatible spouse who also has that calling if you establish it for yourself first. Why would you consider someone as your spouse if they are not remotely interested in foreign missions? People sometimes compromise too much. Set your lifetime goals and then you’ll discover someone else who also has similar life goals. After marriage, continued goal setting should be agreed on too.

Being equally yoked means flowing well together on the day to day.

I believe it is important to have someone that is able to pivot with ease when unexpected circumstances occur. We all get curveballs thrown at us in life. Your partner should be someone who can help you take the hits of life. Getting overly upset when plans don’t go well, doesn’t usually help. Encouraging your partner is paramount. Encouragement is like the grease to the wheels of a marriage. Without encouragement, the gears of a relationship will be rough and destructive. Criticism, negativity and blaming one another doesn’t produce fruit in your partnership.

Being equally yoked means having similar theological beliefs.

Lastly, and this is the most important point of all the points above, both people should possess the same religious framework. The core of who we are radiates the light of our thinking. The way we relate to God and people around us impact our daily lives, and especially our spouses. Do you shine the same light as the person you may be considering to be your life partner? If the answer is no, then you should take great pause on your motivation to marry this particular individual in the first place. For example, if you believe in a triune God and the other person doesn’t believe in a triune God, then this is a large principle that should not be just overlooked because you find the person physically attractive.

Thank you for reading and I welcome your thoughts and comments!