What Can You Do if You Think “I’m Ashamed and Can’t Talk to a Girl”?

I'm ashamed and I can't talk to a girl! Don't worry too much about it - we're all a little shy and embarrassed, but some hide it and control it better, others find it harder. But with a little confidence and patience, you will see that it is not so difficult to talk to a girl and get close to her.

Why do you think "I'm ashamed", why do you have problems approaching girls and being yourself? Do you blush, forget what you wanted to say, start stuttering or talk nonsense, panic, and all you have in your head is "how embarrassing I am"? It is a fairly common difficulty in adolescence, for both boys and girls.

Maybe it seems to you that everyone else feels good in their skin, that it integrates without problems, that only you are a little weird - but it's not like that! But the others learned how to overcome feelings of shame and embarrassment, accept them and control them. Why couldn't you?

What can you do if you think "I'm ashamed and can't talk to a girl":

Stop being so preoccupied with the opinion, judgment of others about you! Maybe it always seems to you that those around you are judging you, criticizing you, secretly laughing at you. Well, you're exaggerating. The reality is that everyone around us is selfish, self-centered, more concerned with themselves than anyone else. As you are, when you think others are looking and judging you! And they have their concerns and they don't stop to analyze you.

And even if sometimes - much less often than you think - they criticize you or make jokes about you, learn to realize that there are many jokes and that their opinion is of little value - what matters is your opinion about you! When you are ashamed and judged by someone, look at him/her and think about how important that person and his/her opinion is, what value he/she has, what is better than you;

In addition, he realizes that he may be looking at you, but in fact, he is thinking: "Can I see the basket on my forehead?", "Don't I look ridiculous with this blouse?", "How does my hair look"?

Self-image and self-esteem. When you think "I'm too ashamed to talk to her", you have some difficulties with your self-image, you are dissatisfied. Who knows why you have such difficulties - maybe your parents have criticized you too much, maybe your teacher has criticized you, maybe you are a perfectionist.

We all want to be better, but that doesn't mean we have to look at the negative. Learn to look your best and appreciate yourself first and foremost. Don't let malicious comments or jokes lower your self-esteem, but take them as a joke and respond in the same way.

And when the other boys laugh at the fact that it's hard for you to get close to girls, either ignore them or answer them sarcastically, reminding them that they're not perfect either: "At least I don't have a monkey IQ." "At least I don't look like the surface of the moon with craters" etc.

Girls are not aliens. You are ashamed and it is difficult for you to approach a girl because you assume that they are so different from you. But they are not - yes, there are differences, but you have the same age, the same interests, the same activities. So it's not hard to find common ground.

The girls have the same problem. Don't think "I'm just ashamed" - if it's hard for you to approach a girl and invite her for a drink, think how hard it is for her to do the same! And the girls are shy, and they are ashamed. When a girl looks at you often, she smiles at you, but she doesn't talk to you, she tries to tell you subtly that it's your turn to take the next step!

Improper stuff. Are you ashamed and shy and you fear that you will blush, stutter or say something inappropriate? So what? We all say the wrong things, sometimes even stupid - but the idea is that we dared to say them!

Only then does it come to mind what we need to say. But the key is not to be discouraged by the fact that you said something stupid - but the moment you said it, to be aware of it and instead of swearing in your mind for your stupidity, to laugh out loud and open about it! Nobody says exactly what it should be at the right time, accept that.

As for the redhead - it's not as big a tragedy as you think, sometimes it's nice if you manage not to let this bother you and you don't behave in vain (Dostoevsky said: "Where the mind sees only shame, the heart discovers the beautiful "). When you feel that you are red as a pumpkin, shrug and say to the one you are talking to lightly, jokingly: "Look, because of you I have become a pumpkin, answer the question until I cook"!

Practice. If, however, you are afraid and ashamed and you do not know what to say to the girl you like, practice at home: take a picture with her in front of you and make a small speech. But not everything will work out as you planned, but at least you have prepared with a few ideas.

Sexuality. Are you ashamed because you have no experience, you have never kissed a girl and you do not think you will know what to do? Are you afraid he'll laugh at you, that everyone will find out? You are at an age when sexuality becomes very important and you have to accept it. But the beginning is never easy for anyone.

If you are afraid that you will not know how to kiss her, read on, find out about the movements you will have to make, and let yourself be carried away. It won't come out perfectly - it never comes out, but we all (all!) Go through the more or less embarrassing experience of the first kiss - may be too brutal, maybe too wet… And what?

At least you did, and if you try a little harder to control your panic at that moment, you will see that you can move your lips a bit rhythmically and easily with it.

Are you ashamed of your physical appearance? Don't worry about your flaws anymore - just look around and you'll see that almost no one is immune to physical defects!

Take a look and you will see guys with more obvious flaws, but who have no problem talking and going out with girls! If you accept your body as it is, value and highlight what you have the best, and learn to laugh at flaws, it will be easier for you to approach a girl and make her like you. If you know how to emphasize your qualities, she will see them too!