Values ​​Passed on to the Child in the Family

Values ​​transmitted to the child in the family - man is a social being, who learns through interactions with others, assimilating and internalizing representations of the world, knowledge, explanatory systems, patterns of behavior, and common core values.

The family has the most important role in the child's socialization and learning of the core values ​​- the child constantly discovers, learns, and assimilates under the influence of the significant ones: his parents.

Therefore, the values ​​transmitted to the child in the family are those that, most of the time, remain in adulthood - during his development, man internalizes other values, common or individual, but the basic ones are those learned in childhood.

He is the one who first introduces the whole world to the child and teaches him to think, behave, and value - he teaches him what is good and valuable and what, on the contrary, is bad and avoidable.

The values ​​passed on to the child in the family shape his character and influence his perspective on life - and if the parents offer values ​​that will not conform to the ideals and expectations of the young child, he is forced to look for new values ​​on his own; for without the certainty given by the essential values, you are deprived of a sense of identity and meaning. Values ​​are what ensure identity, the manifestation of the self!

What are the values?

Values ​​- abstract notions that represent the meaning of good and evil, "so yes" and "so no", desirable and unacceptable. Although we like to believe that we choose our values ​​- they are offered and internalized through socialization: in the first instance, in the family, then from other environments in which we enter.

Values ​​are essentially social - but a person can show a preference for certain fundamental values, creating a personal scale of values, values ​​that he will pass on to the child. For many, "kindness", "equality", "respect", "family", "tolerance", "faith", "knowledge", "freedom" remain fundamental values ​​- which, unfortunately, are idealized, but less in practice.

One can discuss positive and negative values, ethical, aesthetic, political, economic values. Today, there is a clear orientation towards materialistic, pragmatic values, in the deficit of spiritual values ​​- man values ​​a prosperous life, physical beauty, professional development, security of life, and perhaps more than anything, personal pleasure.

What values ​​should be passed on to the child in the family:

Starting from the sharing of materialistic values ​​- spiritual values, parents must always find a balance in what they pass on (directly and indirectly, for example) to the child. Of course, the so-called materialistic values, such as safety, the comfort of life, career, are positive - but as long as they are accompanied by the valorization of how to obtain them - more precisely, through work, personal development, courage, ambition, intelligence, competence, learning - and not by cheating, lying, manipulating.

Therefore, not only the values ​​themselves are those that must be transmitted to the child - but also the way to aspire to and achieve those values ​​(the tools used, also called values ​​- instrumental values).

But never forget the spiritual values, show the child how important kindness, knowledge, love, faith are (each parent decides what kind of faith he transmits to the child).

Because to limit yourself to materialistic values ​​means to limit the child's learning and the development of the complete self. No one needs only money and beauty - but also love and maybe a belief in something else! Insist on the values ​​of empathy, altruism, kindness, the pleasure of doing something good for another, because we live in an increasingly selfish society, and the child is also a little self-centered.

Although the gap between parents and children (at the age of adolescence) is discussed, the reality is that most of the time, children and parents will share the fundamental values, the values ​​related to universal principles - because they are the ones assimilated early; they will not often share those related to personal style; the adolescent will adopt "modern" values, always inconsistent with those of the parents - but these are related to the style of clothing, behavior and not the essential principles in life.

The values ​​that are transmitted to the child in the family most often remain those related to knowledge, order, responsibility, sincerity.

Ways to pass values ​​on to your child:

Some parents believe that they cannot talk to a child about values ​​and that he will "learn on the go". Wrong - the most effective is to discuss, but in an appropriate way and their meaning, without using pompous concepts and without being too abstract.

Values ​​are most naturally passed on to the child through stories - family anecdotes or stories. But to succeed, always question the moral of the story, ask him about what should be valued in the story and whatnot, about what the characters did, about what he thinks is right…

Talk through examples. Approach the subject as simply as possible: "X did Y" - what do you think about that? Why is it good? Why isn't it good? What people value today and what we value in the family…

Let him express himself. Don't just tell him what values ​​he has, let him express his opinion, guide him to understanding and realization. Talk about what values ​​others have, what values ​​you have in your family, and what he thinks about it. Give as many examples as possible - too abstract a discussion is not as effective.

Personal example. Here is the path that is, indeed, the most important related to the values ​​transmitted to the child: the model of the parents! If you are not a positive role model, then any discussion is in vain. Tell him that kindness is important - show him examples of being good. Tell him the truth is important - don't lie. Tell them that respect is important - show them that you respect others. And so on…

Family value difference - social value. Try to pass on to the child values ​​that make it easy for him to integrate into the group, the most accepted positive values.

Also, try not to cause a conflict of values: for example, you tell him that sincerity is good, but let him see you lying or ask him to lie in society (when you ask him to be polite, to lie that he likes something, etc.). It's a complicated situation - but not impossible to avoid (you can explain that he shouldn't lie, but he shouldn't say anything he thinks if he hurts others).

In the end - the parents are the ones who have to pass on the essential values ​​to the child, materialistic values ​​and spiritual values. Because, from an early age, the child will be put face to face and will assimilate other values ​​(some negative) from TV, from colleagues - that's why giving him a positive scale of values ​​is so important