Valentine's Day is Torture for Introverts

February 14th is supposed to be a day filled with romance. Spending the day getting ready for a night out with your significant other might be what other women dream about. For me, I hate it. It feels like a day of torture versus love.

You might think I'm just bitter and single, so that's why I hate Valentine's Day. Wrong. This is actually the first Valentine's Day I've been single in almost 20 years, but I've dreaded the day for as long as I can remember.

Why? I'm an introvert and we don't do big occasions quite like everyone else. This is absolutely mind blowing if you're dating an extrovert.

When I Say I Want a Quiet Night, I Mean It

I've met plenty of women (and men) who claim they want one thing and then blow up at their partner when they get exactly what they claimed to want.

For example, "Don't get me anything for my birthday, being with you is all I want." So, they don't get a gift and then they give the silent treatment in return for a week.

Personally, I don't say anything like that unless I mean it. So, when I say I just want a quiet night, snuggling in front of the TV, and watching a movie together, that's all I want.

I'm not looking for an expensive dinner at a packed restaurant. I have no interest in going to a couple's spa to have strangers touch me. I definitely don't want to go to a B&B and have to share breakfast and dinner with other guests.

You'd think most guys would love this. No. I can't tell you how many times I've had a guy go out of his way to plan a huge night out and then get confused when I'm not thrilled. Yes, I appreciate the effort, but why waste so much money on something neither of us wanted?

The only exception is if you're with someone who truly loves Valentine's Day and all the chaos that comes with it. But, if you're dating an introvert, maybe try to compromise. Maybe go out the day before or after Valentine's Day so things aren't so crowded. Or, alternate years, letting each person have the day their way.

It Feels So Fake

Call me cynical, but Valentine's Day feels so fake. As an introvert, I'm constantly having to fake being happy in crowds or feeling comfortable speaking up during work meetings.

I don't want to fake a day of romance. I don't want to spend hours and days trying to come up with a perfect gift. I hate the pressure. I hate that it feels like love is dependent on how much a gift or meal costs.

Yes, I have quite a few girlfriends who've dumped guys because they didn't spend enough for the big 2/14. Silly right?

Romance and love isn't about money. It's about the small things, like listening to what your partner wants and needs. If it's all about fancy gifts to you, maybe you need to rethink your relationship a bit.

Introverts Value Time With Their Loved Ones

Introverts have a close circle of friends and family. The main reason is they value the time they spend with those they care about most. With a smaller group, they have more time available to build those important relationships.

Going out to a crowded place for Valentine's Day is absolute torture. It's all about showing off versus spending time together.

I don't really see it as spending quality time together if I have to yell just so my partner can hear me. I want our night to be more special. I want to feel closer to you.

More than anything, I don't want romance to just be one day. I want those little things all year long. Because to an introvert, those small things mean more than grand gestures. Cramming it all into a day, then letting things slide the rest of year isn't going to make us happy.

Having a year of romance in a day is too much for introverts. It'd be like taking us to a dozen Taylor Swift concerts in a single day and expecting us to be happy. No, we'd be so overstimulated we'd need to curl up in a closet for a few months to recover.

I just want a quiet night in to spend quality time together. It's simple, it's sweet, and it's inexpensive. For my fellow introverts out there, doesn't that sound absolutely amazing?