UNDERTSTANDING HOW CRUSHES WORK!

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UNDERTSTANDING HOW CRUSHES WORK!

By

Ross E F Lombardi

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FUCKING CRUSHES!

They are not magical

They are not mystical

They are just the brain being lazy.

There is a reason most people have ‘a type’.

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TRY THIS!

Make a list of all the similarities good and bad between your present crush and the all the last emotionally charged relationships you ever had.

It does not matter whether the relationship was good or bad, only that is was emotionally charged,

In fact, past toxic relationships get double points when you make you similarity with your present crush list!

Dull or less emotionally powerful experience barely count at all! - IF at all! – Even if those experience are good positive ones!

The brain is lazy and the whole human body is designed to reduce any resource use.

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When you have a series of strong emotional experiences, especially the bad ones, it creates mental pathways, not unlike Pavlov dog conditioning.

Carving these hormone trenches is a heavy expensive business and gets ever more expensive the older you get.

When your brain is seeking a new partner, to keep trigging its addictive endorphin love fix.

It COULD (but it won’t) look for a more suitable partner – One that is logically good for you.

Creating new pathways from scratch, using a load of new resources…

OR

As it has all these unused pattern pathways that are already well trodden and kinda just sitting there but not being used,

INSTEAD,

It could just recycle the old pathways and slap a different person’s name on the label.

And guess which way is easier?

Guess which one saves resources?

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You hindbrain will just shrug its shoulders and say,

“I mean, I do happen have all these perfectly usable ready-made paths just lying around,”

“It seems a shame, just to waste them!”

“Why bother making any new ones?”

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Your hindbrain does not give two shits if you make the same mistakes over and over again,

Just as long as it can generate its internal chemical love potion fix with the minimum of effort!

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So, you develop “a type”.

You find yourself attracted NOT the person that IS actually There,

But instead, you are secretly attracted to all the similarities to past romantic experiences that you imagine THIS person has!

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Same hair colour? Same eye colour? Same curly hair?

You want to know my physical type?

Look at a photo of my ex-wife of 30 years!

Want to know my romantic personality type,

Learn how all the large overflow ducts were carved into my mind, from the people that have affected me the most!

Same feelings of being unworthy of them? Perhaps? Let’s tick that box!

Similar education level?

Same tilt of the head?

Are they condescending while at the same time seeming both patent and understanding? Let’s tick that box to!

BINGO!

Yep, sounds like most of my entire past love life to me!

It all adds up,

And like a flow of water the little electrical pulses take the path of least resistance, making those same tired, well-worn, brain gutters even slightly deeper and easier to use again for next time.

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Tick all the right boxes and guess what!

YOU WON A BRAND NEW CRUSH!

A crush that you never wanted! – Slapped together clumsily from reused broken parts in a new bullshit packaging claiming, “New and improved”

No magic!

Nothing mystical!

Just that crappy brain of ours being lazy. – Again!

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Understand THIS!

We humans are NOT divine!

We were never divine!

We are just yet another beast species with self-deluding gimmicks!

All hormones, and basic instinct with shitty masks of intellectual justification and thin veils of self-licencing.

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So, if you have a stupid crush?

But - Surely knowledge is power? Right?

How does knowing this help?

Sadly, it doesn’t!

You can’t fight biology!

Mother nature always wins!

And to her – Mother Nature - You are just another one of her mere dumb, disposable beast. – No different from any wolf, cow, otter or pig.

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So, when I get a crush,

Despite knowing stuff! – It wont matter!

It WILL STILL feel magical,

It WILL STILL feel mystical,

And it Still WON’T be!

I know this shit!

Yet, I will STILL feel helpless, and silly, and giddy, and be epically stupid beyond all rational reason!

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Because us all humans are dumb arses.

And I am stuck being human.

Therefor, despite knowing the science, I am just as stupid about this crap as everyone else!

But I am unfortunately get to also be smart enough to know that I am being stupid,

So, I get to beat the crap out of myself for being a dumb ass!

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Your only hope is to “wait it out”.

Wait for you stupid ‘drug pusher’ mind to eventually realise that its attempt to ‘get you addicted’, is not worth the effort!

As you emotional heart, acts like a crack addict whore, begging for its craved love hormone drug fix!

“Just one more glance!”

“Just one more conversation” – “Just enough ‘bad medicine’ to take the edge off!

“I wont ever ask you again! Honest”

Your heart begs and lies,

And meanwhile you brain moans and whispers,

“Dude! Come on Man!”

“Stop make me work so hard to get my product to my junkie hooker!”

Yep! - Your only hope is to “wait it out”.

And while you wait YOU WILL Suffer!

And dream of “Them”

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Being human sucks!

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