Unconditional

"She made some drawings for you thinking you are coming to see her," read a message from my aunt at 4:11 PM on 29th August 2021. Over the last few days, I had witnessed disregard and insensitivity. While claiming to care, the neglect was evident. While dependability was mentioned, the support was absent. A single endearing action made disappointments weighing me down disappear as my body was overcome with lightness. Thoughts such as "So she did not forget about me?" "How do I establish comfort and trust after a long absence?" and "I have not met her in 17 months, and she still made drawings for me?" crossed my mind. Making my way through a maze of people, I finally met my aunt, uncle, and two-year-old Noor at 'Wagamama' on 3rd Avenue.

While walking back to the apartment, Noor's tiny fingers grasped my slender ones. At every zebra crossing in New York City, I have seen someone guiding, hugging, kissing, and holding their lover. On some days, I would look past the explicit affection, but I would crave that sweetness on other days. A precious baby who is only beginning to develop human connections, willingly and delightfully made me feel loved. At that moment, I learned that no blanket can comfort you like a tender touch. At that moment, I learned that pure love lies in unforced and heartwarming actions. Most importantly, wholehearted appreciation without stringent or self-serving expectations signifies that the love is unconditional.

Placing my tangerine bag aside, I positioned myself on the beige sofa. Then, she ran towards me and handed me two vibrant squares with the widest smile. Through her abstract art, Noor emphasized that love is thoughtful and generous. On 5th June, Noor had celebrated her birthday in a lilac tulle dress with multicolored sequins, and I barely interacted with her at the party. Meeting her after many months made me apprehensive as there was a stretch of unfamiliarity and no communication. Still, she held my hand and took me to her bedroom.

Before entering the bedroom, she jumped with elation upon seeing that I gifted her a sparkly lilac watch. The cheerful response was effortless as she had a penchant for watches, and the gift was a symbol of understanding through specificity and care. As Noor watched intently, I strapped the slightly disproportionate watch around her wrist. What moved me the most was how my inaction since arriving in New York in February was forgiven. The lack of a highly negative emotion pushed me to multiply our monthly meetings despite internal challenges.

With glittering eyes, she showed me her stuffed toys, sunglasses, and wet wipes. Genuine love transcends distance, and trust is dependent on a person's aura. Soon, the charcoal sofa was covered with storybooks, and 'The Gruffalo' was selected. As I began reading the story, my uncle walked in, and Noor insisted that he leave so that she could be with me. Regardless of frequent meetings or lengthy conversations, untainted affection will make you feel special. With every word I read, Noor indicated that my presence and warmth were enough to refresh her. After I left the room, she already stated that she missed me.

That evening, Noor wrapped my heart with a million fairy lights. When you are accepted with your vulnerabilities and wounds, it is love. It is love when you can heal, evolve, fight, and breathe. In handing me a dried leaf at the park, she signified how calmness solidifies love and not control. In introducing me to her favorite toys,' Zabby' the Zebra and 'Bunny' the pink rabbit, Noor reassured me how intent does not stay hidden, and masks fall off to reward those who are sincere. Above all, my visit highlighted that you will receive a treasure chest full of unconditional love if you have a golden heart.