Two Presents, 1 Future.

There is nothing like the rush of adrenaline from a fish biting down on some breadcrumb bait, after having stood around for an hour with no action in sight– those where the thoughts of Robert Kane, a 44-year-old, white, balding, slightly overweight fisherman living in a rural city somewhere in America.

"I've had enough of this, 9 hours on the water today and only caught 2 trout…sheesh, what a waste of a day…", Robert murmured to himself as he began to pack his gear.

He started to walk home, kicking stones near his feet and looking up at the clouds above him, whistling a tune, trying to get himself into a better mood.

Ahead of him, he saw a man walking his dog. "It's that fucking guy again… just the person I needed to bump into, goddamnit…", Robert thought to himself.

The man walking his dog was Jaylen Washington, also a man in his mid-forties, black, with short, curly, dark hair with an above-average build; he too lived in the same city as Robert, in fact, they were neighbours.

"Any luck with the fish today?", Jaylen asked Robert as they met at an intersect, "Fuck off, I don't talk to your kind, I thought I made myself clear last time…or did you forget?", Robert replied.

"What's your problem, man? We've been neighbours for years now, and you can't even answer a simple question?", Jaylen snapped back.

"This town doesn't need any more black influence, head back from where you came, and don't ever even look my way again, this is your last warning", Robert barked back as he sped up his pace, and left.

"2021 and I STILL have to deal with this shit…", Jaylen thought to himself in disbelief as he continued down the path with his dog.

≈ ≈ ≈

"Honey, I'm going for some late-night fishing, don't wait for me", Robert shouted upstairs to his wife as he prepared himself for a long session of late-night fishing.

He got to the waters, sat in his old, barely floating boat, and began to row out into the waters. It was dark, probably around 10 pm, the frogs were orchestrating a symphony, while the crickets provided them with supporting vocals.

The weather was rough, and the waves started to pick up. Suddenly, a loud crack came from the bottom of the boat, and water started rushing in. Robert hit a rock, that on a sunny day could have been easily avoided, but on that night, was bad luck, although some would call it karma.

Robert began to furiously paddle back to shore, hoping to make it to land before he sunk, but the boat was in too bad of condition to go any further. He began to panic as he felt the water slowly begin climbing up his body, it was cold, and it was dark. He jumped out, he couldn't see the shore, but he knew it was somewhere in front of him. He began to swim, but the waves weren't giving him up easily, constantly pushing him under.

"I'm not going to make it", fearfully thought Robert, as he choked on water splashing into his mouth. He began to slow down, he felt weak, tired, and hopeless –he let go, stopped fighting, and let the darkness consume him.

However, just as he was about to completely go under, a strong hand yanked him back above water and began dragging him to shore, it was Jaylen. In a stroke of weird fate, he happened to be walking his dog and saw Robert go under. Thinking fast, he quickly jumped into the water and swam towards him, saving him from drowning.

≈ ≈ ≈

The two of them lay there in silence for some time, next to each other, like two sponges on a sandy beach.

Robert, still coughing, turned to Jaylen and said, "I thought I told you not to look at me ever again".

The two men stared at each other, grimacing, then Robert broke character and started to chuckle.

The chuckle led to a laugh, and before you knew it, the two men were laughing hysterically side by side clinging to each other for support.

"Listen…thanks for saving my life, thank you", Robert said to Jaylen.

"I was wrong to say what I said to you yesterday, in fact, I haven't been much of a good neighbour to you at all these past few years.", stammered Robert. 

"Don't think I can forgive you that easily", remarked Jaylen, "but this is a good start".

The two men got up.

"You need help getting back to your place?", asked Jaylen. 

"No, I'll be fine, thanks though… I'll catch you tomorrow", replied Robert.

Expect tomorrow never came. 

The next morning, having spent the night awake and in the thought of the events the night before, Robert knocked on his neighbour's door.

No answer.

Another attempt.

Again, no answer.

"Weird, maybe he's out, I should check back later this evening", Robert thought to himself.

As he began to walk back towards his house, the door behind him opened, and a woman peered through, "YOU!!", she shrieked at Robert.

"YOU KILLED HIM!", she continued to shout.

Thrown back, Robert replied, "What are you talking about, killed who?".

"He complained of a tight chest, and exhaustion after he came home…he dove into that cold water last night to save you, he SAVED you, even after all the years of abuse and racism you directed towards our family, he SAVED YOU."

"Who is dead? Jaylen is dead?", stammered Robert, "that's impossible, we were laughing together last night…we were…laughing together…"

"You think you can just show up here after all these years like everything is fine? My husband was a good man, a kind man, he always put others before him, and you constantly spit in his face. Now I sleep alone, a wonderful man gone, and in his place…you. Don't ever come back here again, DON'T EVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!", she shouted as she slammed the door shut.

Robert was stunned, rooted to his place.

His body began to tremble.

He collapsed on the floor, tears rushing down his eyes.

"I killed him…", he kept repeating to himself, speaking through his breath, the words barely intelligible as he rocked back and forth on the ground.

≈ ≈ ≈

A few days go by, a knock is heard. An amber-coloured ray shines through the top window panel of the front door, dust particles can be seen floating through the air.

Robert walks towards the noise, rubbing his eyes from sleep.

He opens the door, and in front of him are two men wearing suits.

"Robert Kane? We are here on behalf of Jaylen Washington, he left you this tiny black book, as wished by him in his will."

"Tiny black book? What? What do you mean he left it for me? Why?", Robert replied confused.

"Jaylen passed away from secondary drowning a few days ago, we are sorry for your loss, he mentioned that you two were good friends."

Good friends? We barely talked beside the night he saved me, and now that I think about it, it was always me that kept harassing him every chance I got, why would he mention that we are good friends? Robert thought to himself.

"Yea. Right…", he replied back to men. He proceeded to grab the book, forced a semi-smile to the men in suits, and closed the door.

He stood for a second admiring the tiny black book in his hands.

"What is this?", he thought.

Opening the book, and examining the front pages, he came across a heading on the prefix, "Love. Unity. Harmony and Peace.". Confused, he continued to flip through the pages. 

His eyes widened.

In front of him were all the events, interactions, and moments that he had shared with Jaylen over the years –in detail, with every racist word, remark or metaphor highlighted that he had ever said to him. To the side of each highlighted word, tiny inscriptions could be seen scribbled.

He read the first one: "Do not forget that this man is not full of hate, but rather of ignorance. He is still a man of God. He can still be saved. He can still be given love."

"I don't understand, what is all of this?", Robert whispered under his breath as he began to rip through the pages.

He couldn't believe it. Each page was a memory of him, and each memory had a message of love and forgiveness attached to it.

Robert began to feel weak, he stumbled across his living room and collapsed into the nearest armchair. He felt stupid, but more importantly, he felt sick. Sick to his core of how he treated that man, knowing that he can't go back in time to correct his wrongs, and knowing worse that he can't ask for forgiveness from the man who died saving his life.

But he had to find a way to make amends, he had to find a way to show this man that he had changed, that he no longer will be the kind of man depicted in this book.

Still sitting, he started to think about what he could do. He thought for a while, then suddenly it came to him. Jumping out of his seat, he rushed towards his kitchen. Stuck on his fridge, under a magnet, was a cheque for $20,000 dollars that he was going to use to buy himself a new boat. Not wasting a second, and with no hesitation, he quickly located an envelope and inserted the cheque inside.

He then proceeded to grab a pen and paper and began to write a note: "I cannot comprehend how much I have hurt you for the things I have said, and done, to your family over the years. Your husband was a good man, and I was wrong to judge him otherwise, but I can promise you that I will work for the rest of my life towards earning your forgiveness. I hope this money can be used as the start of my journey towards redemption…"

He folded the note and placed it next to the cheque.

Rushing outside, he ran towards his neighbour's door, but just as he was about to approach it, he froze.

Flashbacks to every memory came flooding back into his mind, stirred from the readings of the book. Robert swayed. The world around him felt flipped, and he felt sick to his stomach.

The guilt of his actions burdening him, like an anchor pulling him down towards the ground.

Forcing himself to stand up, Robert continued to the front door. Standing in front of it, he hesitated, then slide the envelope under the door frame.

He stepped back, observing the house.

It was bright white, with teal accents throughout. Elements of flowers and cozy household objects were scattered throughout, and a dog collar was laying by his feet on the porch.

"It's so beautiful...", Robert whispered under his breath glancing around, a tear rolled down from his left eye.

"I'm sorry Jaylen... I really am..."

...