Translated Love

-1-

“To: Thomas Johnson <[email protected]>

From: Lana Smirnova <[email protected]>

Date: December 2, 2000, 19:36:51 GMT +3

Subject: Winter tales of love

My darling,

I am writing, as usual, sitting in my favorite café with a cup of hot cappuccino. Snow is falling outside the window, flakes dancing dreamily, each unique, like my dreams of you. This distance between us is killing me, for I want so much to tell you that I love you with my voice, my eyes, my lips, not with words on an indifferent screen. I am still saying it, though, with all the force of a caring heart, here: You are my life, my dream, my future, and I love you deeply, eternally, unconditionally, and with complete abandon of self. Please come to me soon.”

Thais paused, hands hovering over the keyboard, and looked at Lana. The woman was bored, since the words on the screen made absolutely no sense to her, but she waited patiently for Thais to translate the text back into Russian.

‘Alright, I have one paragraph. Do you want more fairy tales, or shall we tell him about your day?’

‘Hmm.’ Lana tapped her long burgundy nails on the table. ‘A little more.’

Thais played with her long dark-blonde braid as she reflected on the next paragraph. Meanwhile, Lana ordered a coffee and a slice of cake from the internet café waiter.

‘Anything for you, Thaisya?’ she asked.

‘No, thank you.’ Thais was trying not to look at the cake. She couldn’t afford it. Her body would balloon in reverse proportion to her budget. She sighed and focused on writing her client’s love letter.

“I am torn between happiness at the thought of our future and sadness caused by the distance between us. There’s so much I want to share with you, so much to show you. I want to laugh about funny things with you, reflect over serious matters with you, talk… and just be together. Only hope of all this becoming reality in the future keeps me going.’

‘Alright, that’s enough,’ commanded Lana. She couldn’t understand a word of the text appearing on the screen, but she knew very well what doses of affection to dispense to her “mailgrooms”. ‘Now let’s hear the back-translation.’

Thais obeyed, and Lana nodded approvingly. ‘Okay. Now let’s add a little about my day, and that would be all for now.’

They worked on the letter for another half an hour, while Lana was sipping coffee and eating cake, and Thais was thinking about Xander. All these words were in fact her words for Xander, it was what she would tell him if she could, but their break-up did not leave any chance of reconciliation, and there were no words in this world that could bring him back to her. Still, if her clients’ men knew it was the translator who was actually writing those words of love and care… which were mostly lies to extract money and catch prize husbands from abroad… but Thais tried not to think about it as she bid Lana goodbye and went outside into the blizzard. It is my job, she told herself, but, as the time flew by, she asked herself more and more often: would the women hold on to her translation services if she wasn’t so good at writing words of love?

The answer was too unpleasant to bear.

-2-

“To: Lana Smirnova <[email protected]>

From: Thomas Johnson <[email protected]>

Date: December 20, 2000, 16:34:18 GMT -8

Subject: It’s over, you liar

Lana,

I can’t believe the level of deception and lies you stooped to in order to bewitch me and make me marry you. After our meeting in Rome, even with your limited English, I realized that the woman depicted in the letters and the woman I met are two different personalities… so different, in fact, that I am shocked and hurt beyond words. And I think I know what was going on here. It was Thais who wrote the letters for you, wasn’t it? Your beautiful, dreamy, artistic nature was a fake personality created by Thais’s words. I fell in love with the woman who was writing them, but now I realize she does not exist.

I don’t want to hear from you anymore, please don’t call me and don’t try to reestablish communication. I realize now I don’t even know you, and the woman I met in Italy is very far from the one you created so craftily with your lies. Good-bye.”

Lana swore so dirtily, the café visitors turned in surprise. Thais finished translating the letter with a sinking heart. This was bad, and there was no telling how Lana would react. Actually, there was. She’d blame her translator.

‘You told him, didn’t you?’

‘Of course not, Lana.’ Thais was trying to speak calmly, but anxiety broke through her composed façade.

‘Oh yeah? Then how did he figure it out?’ Lana shook the email printout menacingly. ‘Is it even true? Or did you mistranslate his email on purpose? Tell me!’

‘Why would I do that?’ It was so ridiculous and wrong. ‘It’s not in my interests, right? Why would I cut the tree I’m sitting in? You are my best client, you pay me well.’

‘I don’t know!’ yelled Lana. ‘To marry my Thomas and never work altogether? What, nothing to say?’

‘Thomas said he figured it all out after meeting you in Rome.’

‘And maybe it was you who told him our little secret? How am I supposed to trust you now?’

I’m going to lose business, but I don’t trust you either, thought Thais. Aloud, she said, ‘I am sorry to hear that and I give you my word that I never told Thomas anything, I did not betray your confidence and I had no intention to steal him.’

‘Your word,’ scoffed Lana. ‘What is it worth?’

‘Well,’ Thais said with acidity, ‘obviously, my words are worth a lot, if Thomas said he fell in love with the letters, not with you. Good-bye, Lana.’

-3-

To: Thaisya Golovina <[email protected]>

From: Alexander Smelov <[email protected]>

Date: December 21, 2000, 20:25:15 GMT +3

Subject: Stop

Hey Thais,

I thought I should tell you this. I’m dating someone else now, so please stop calling me.

Xander

The phone was ringing so often that Thais finally took the receiver off and put it on the table. Christmas was coming, and all of Thais’s mailbride clients were calling to drop her services. Lana had her revenge for Thomas.

‘That queen “B” probably told them God knows what,’ commented Rosina, Thais’ cousin and roommate.

‘And by “B” you surely mean the lovely insect that gives us honey.’ Thais replied dryly. ‘Question is, how are we going to live without my translations?’

‘I’ll find you new mailbrides,’ Rosina promised.

‘How?’

‘I’m going to call Xander. After all, it was he who introduced you to Lana and her friends. I’m sure he knows other girls who need translations.’

Thais was silent. Xander’s name brought a lump to her throat. It’s over, she told herself. He moved on. He wouldn’t want to hear her name, let alone help her.

‘Please don’t,’ she said at length. ‘We’ll think of something else.’

‘Yeah? Like what? Milk the men ourselves?’

‘No,’ Thais answered decisively. ‘It’s bad enough that I helped Lana extort money from her men. Do you think Thomas was her only correspondent? Do you think they send her peanuts? Last time, she went to the bank with her boyfriend’s bodyguard, because Craig sent her 5,000 dollars!’

Rosina whistled. ‘Awesome. And she has a boyfriend here, too? You never told me.’

‘I never told anyone, which makes me just as bad as them.’

‘Stop it.’ Rosina looked at Thais intently. ‘You kept clients’ secrets, you didn’t blow up the city hall.’

‘I still made morally dubious choices because I didn’t want to lose my source of income. That means, I lied for money.’ Thais turned to the window so that Rosina wouldn’t see her tears. ‘There’s no getting around it. But enough is enough. I’m done with this life.’

-4-

To: Thomas Johnson<[email protected]>

Bcc: Craig Richards <[email protected]> and 35 more

Date: December 21, 2000, 21:19:19 GMT +3

Subject: Apologies and goodbyes

Gentlemen,

You know me as Thais, the translator who translates the letters of the ladies with which you maintain correspondence. I am writing to you in order to apologize most abjectly for the lies and deception I have been aiding and abetting. I regret to say that I composed many passages in the love letters you have been receiving. For this, I am deeply sorry. There are no excuses for my behaviour, since love of money is not an excuse for a person who actually has moral and ethical values. I am ashamed to say I am not that kind of a person. Without hoping for forgiveness, I am writing this letter just to come out clean. I realize now that the concept of love is too precious to play with or use as a means to achieve one’s own selfish ends. Thank you for your consideration.

Respectfully,

Thaisya Golovina

-5-

To: Dahlia Translations <[email protected]>

From: Thaisya Golovina <[email protected]>

Date: January 1, 2001 12:37:17 GMT +3

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please consider my candidature for the position of Translator within your company. Please find attached my resume. Thank you.

Best regards,

Thaisya Golovina

-6-

To: Thaisya Golovina <[email protected]>

From: Craig Richards <[email protected]>

Date: January 10th, 2001, 10:01:20 GMT -4

Subject: Offer

Hi Thais,

I was very impressed and touched with your apology letter. I must say, I am more disappointed in Lana, as I am sure it was not your idea to write the letters yourself. Also, I must say I am very impressed with your English and with your skills in general. So, I am offering you a job in my company in New York. Let me know what you think.

Best,

Craig