Trans Guy Problems

Transgender people go through a lot in life. Not only do they have to deal with the normal problems and obstacles that everyone else faces (i.e. bills, high school, jobs, love lives), but they also have to put up with a lot of other difficulties and jump through a lot of hurdles that cisgender people have the luxury of not needing to do. So here's a list of things that most trans guys have to go through. And I am saying "trans guys" because half way through this list I realized I was talking from experience and most of these are tailored toward transgender guys. (Sorry, ladies!)

Anyway, here we go!

1. Pronouns

Pronouns are one of the biggest struggles in a transgender person's life. It's also one of the biggest steps in the coming out process. When you come out as trans, everyone already knows you by different pronouns and another name, so it's a big change and adjustment for them but also for you. You have to get used to people changing the way they talk about you.

The first time hearing a family member calling me "he" was strange and unfamiliar. Obviously I liked it but at the same time it was a little unnerving. When you grow up playing the part of someone else, you forget that you've been acting the whole time.

So here's some advice to cis people: try your best when it comes to pronouns. Getting them right can make a trans person's day. Getting misgendered sucks and it can mess with our dysphoria but we do understand that it's usually a new thing and people need time to change their brain's way of thinking.

2. Binders

Or hell. Honestly these things kill. That's actually not a complete exaggeration. They can mess up your ribs and lungs pretty bad if you aren't wearing them safely.

For the people that don't know, binders are garments that are made to flatten a trans guy's chest to give the appearance of a more masculine chest ( i.e it hides the breast tissue). These can hurt.

Because binders are made of compressive material, you shouldn't wear them for more than 8 hours a day, you shouldn't sleep in them, and you definitely shouldn't exercise in them. Which is why I've done all three. I don't promote it, though.

Cis people don't have to deal with them, but most trans guys do and it is not a good experience. Binders are useful and they help with gender dysphoria but they really do suck. It gets worse in the summer because the last thing you want to be wearing in hot weather is restrictive material.

3. Bathrooms

Ah, the dreaded bathroom. Most people know a lot about trans people and bathrooms because of recent laws and outraged facebook moms and republicans, but this isn't political. Well, a little, but not really.

Trans people are human, which means they need to use the bathroom just like cis people. It's a little weird that where they go to do that is up for debate, but whatever. Like I said, this isn't really political.

If you have anxiety, then imagine your anxiety made 50 times worse. Because bathrooms for trans people are horrifying. Even before the whole "bathroom crisis" came about. Trans people are used to violence and bigotry and discrimination. Which is sad when you think about it.

I remember the first time I went into the men's room after I had come out as trans. I was paranoid and hesitant and anxious. I was terrified. I only relaxed after I had left the bathroom. You're very vulnerable in there and for trans people, it's much worse. We're used to being hated. And we're always afraid of being attacked.

There's too many stories of trans people being beaten and sexually abused and every horror story that I ever read was playing through my mind on repeat from the moment I stepped into the bathroom to the moment I left.

4. Backhanded compliments

Or "But you don't look trans to me!"

"I would have never known!"

"But you're so attractive!"

And more.

FYI, these are not compliments.

Trans people don't like when you say this type of shit to us. It's very disrespectful and ignorant. You're not being nice, you're being rude as fuck.

And it is exhausting to have to deal with this, so please don't say this kind of stuff to us, even if you mean well.

5. Periods

Periods are the worst.

For trans guys, they can be absolute hell. They're painful and uncomfortable and you're bleeding out of your body, yes, but they also make us feel really dysphoric.

It was a punch in the gut every time I got my period. It was a reminder to me of what I am, and when I was really depressed that shit made it so much worse.

6. Discrimination

I mean, obviously. This list isn't in a specific order or ranking because if it was, then discrimination would be the top problem.

Look, the LGBTQ+ community has progressed a lot, but the fight's not over. There are still countries giving out death penalties to queer and trans people. There are still countries where same-sex marriage is illegal, and being trans is incredibly frowned upon. There are still states trying to implement bathroom laws, and we have a president that put a trans military ban into effect.

Trans (and other queer) people have to deal with discrimination on a daily basis.

Obviously, there are a lot more problems that trans guys (and girls) deal with, but I'm not going to list them all out because that would take forever and it's already taken me like 6 months to finish this.

So, in conclusion, be nice to trans people because we already have to deal with a lot, and kindness can really brighten our shitty day.