To the Man I Thought was "The One"

It was a fairy tale story from the beginning. I kept telling myself that it was too good to be true. Yet, you kept saying the right things and doing the right things. You showed me what it was like to be in a good relationship. You texted me every morning, connected with me through music, called me baby, told me I was beautiful, held my hand, kissed me like you meant it, and made my toes curl when we made love. You were everything I ever wanted. You opened car doors for me, listened to me, supported me, cuddled with me after a stressful day, and made me feel like I was on top of the world. You had me hook, line, and sinker. I was madly in love with you. Everything about you was perfect, your flaws and all. The way you treated me made me want to give you the world. I wanted to make all your dreams come true.

And as soon as you knew you had me, things took a drastic turn. Without any explanation and without me changing anything, you stopped. You stopped holding my hand, you stopped kissing me, you stopped cuddling, you stopped opening the car door, you stopped listening to me, you stopped supporting me, you stopped comforting me. Instead, you spent all your time on your phone. My presence began to “smother” you and you began avoiding me. You stopped including me in your plans. You stopped texting, “good morning.” You stopped caring. You would accuse me of things I didn’t do. You stopped supporting me at the lowest point in my life when I needed you most. When I tried to talk about it, you would say things like, “It's just me, I’m messed up” or “you deserve better.” It hurt my heart that you felt that way and I wanted you to see that even messed up people deserve love. I saw a side of you that was screaming to come out. I knew how fucking beautiful you were, and I wanted to bring that side out of you. I saw your strength and the amazing potential you held.

So, instead of leaving, I used the love I had for you to do everything in my power to bring out the beautiful you. I wanted everyone to see your amazing qualities and for you to reach the potential you have been suppressing all these years. I challenged you and pushed you to be the best version of yourself and I supported you in doing so. I was transparent and honest with you. I communicated my feelings openly. I was honest about my needs and wants. When I didn’t agree with you, I told you. I shared different perspectives with you that your closed mind couldn’t fathom. I called you out on your bull shit and wouldn’t accept excuses for answers, but I always treated you with kindness and respect. I was vulnerable with you. I gave you a kind of love you have never experienced. I went all in in our relationship, just like I said I would. I didn’t run when I saw your brokenness and always made sure that you knew I was right there to walk beside you. Every part of me loved every part of you: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I gave you everything you said you wanted. And if I’m being honest here, I would have done anything for you.

I must say you had me fooled. And you still have a lot of people fooled with your fake “Mr. Nice Guy” charm, but that’s okay, your secret is safe with me. I realize now that you didn’t want a long-term relationship from the start. You told me what I wanted to hear and have probably done that a hundred times. You took my love for granted and in return you made me feel like a failure. You made me feel like I was doing something wrong even though nothing changed. You made me question why I even wanted to live anymore. You shattered me into a thousand pieces, and I didn’t know if I could get back up this time. I didn’t feel like getting back up. I didn’t feel like fighting for my life anymore. But me being me, I did, and when I did, I realized that because of you I’m stronger than ever. I’m not mad, hurt, or sad. I am thankful, and I do believe I owe you a huge, “Thank You.”

To you, I was just another trophy on the shelf, another ex-girlfriend's phone # to store in your phone, another story to watch on SnapChat, but to me, you were the best learning experience a woman could have. Through you, I learned what it felt like to be loved and empowered through a healthy relationship and even though it was short-lived, the feeling was powerful and something I never experienced before. I also learned that the biggest snakes can be the most beautiful. I learned that the problem was you and that you were right, I do deserve better. I’m fucking awesome and I deserve to “just be happy.” I deserve someone who appreciates my awesomeness and will allow me to be myself. I deserve someone who includes me in their plans and is proud to announce it publicly. I deserve someone who trusts me. I deserve someone who will get off their phone to spend time with me. I deserve someone who will hold my hand, hug me tight, kiss my lips, and cuddle with me just because. I deserve someone who will call me baby and be there for me when I need them. I deserve someone who will talk to me instead of shutting down and giving me the silent treatment. I deserve someone who listens to me and values my opinion. I deserve someone who compromises with me and puts effort into meeting my needs and wants. I deserve someone who will love me as fiercely as I love them. I deserve someone who will take my hand, have my back, and walk beside me through my good, bad, and ugly. But most importantly, I learned that I am a bad ass. At my lowest point, I picked myself up on my own, wiped my tears, and solved my fucking problems on my own. Now, I know that my value is not determined by how others treat me, and I will never let that happen again.

So, a big “Thank You” to you. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I’m more determined to get what I want. I know that I’m a bad ass and I’m fucking awesome. I know I can do anything on my own and I don’t have to settle for anything less than what I deserve. I know that I will always be fucking awesome, and you, well, you will always just be you. You’ll still the same miserable shallow person who gets bouts of happiness at the expense of others. But there will come a day when everyone catches on to your “Mr. Nice Guy” charm. There will come a day when you look back and be full of regrets, wishing you would have done things differently. You will remember how I treated you, loved you, supported you, and wanted nothing but the best for you and all you will have to show for it is a dusty trophy on your shelf to remind you of how you screwed it up.

So, I’m saying goodbye to you with no regrets. I have turned the page knowing I did nothing wrong. I loved you with all I had. I did everything I could to revive the best parts of you. But you chose to be the snake. You chose to be the coward. And you will have to live with those choices for the rest of your life.

Sincerely,

The one you're going to wish you treated better