The Weight of Overthinking

Silence can be deafening, especially when it hangs between two people who mean the world to each other. Lately, I find myself trapped in the confines of my own thoughts, spiraling into endless questions and doubts. The person I love—someone who has brought light into my life—is out there, carrying on with their day. And yet, I can’t help but overthink. Where are they? Who are they with? What are they doing?

It’s not about mistrust. It’s about the vulnerability that comes with loving deeply. Love makes us feel safe, but it also exposes us to fears we didn’t know we had. For me, those fears manifest as overthinking—a relentless stream of scenarios that chip away at my peace. It’s not just about their actions but my insecurities, my desire for reassurance, and my struggle with feeling worthy of the love we share.

The Heart vs. The Mind
In love, the heart often battles the mind. While my heart knows the person I love is genuine, caring, and respectful, my mind refuses to stay quiet. It clings to the silence between us, interpreting it as distance, as indifference. My heart whispers that they’ve done nothing to warrant this doubt, but my mind paints pictures of what-ifs and could-bes, feeding my anxiety.

This isn’t fair to them, nor is it fair to me. Overthinking is exhausting, like running a race with no finish line. It makes me question things that don’t need questioning, like their loyalty or intentions. Deep down, I know they respect me. They’ve shown me that time and time again. But overthinking clouds that clarity, making me focus on the gaps rather than the bridges we’ve built together.

The Root of the Restlessness
The truth is, overthinking doesn’t stem from their actions. It stems from my own fears and past wounds. It’s a reflection of the times I’ve felt abandoned, misunderstood, or unworthy. Those scars resurface, whispering lies that this love might end the same way others did.

But this love is different. This person is different. They’ve never given me a reason to doubt them. In fact, they’ve always been patient with my emotions, even when I struggle to express them. So why does my mind create battles that don’t exist? Why do I let overthinking overshadow the beauty of what we have?

Choosing Faith Over Fear
As I sit with these thoughts, I realize the weight I’m carrying isn’t theirs to bear. It’s mine. And if I want this love to thrive, I have to confront my overthinking. Love isn’t about knowing every detail or controlling every moment. It’s about trust—trust in them, trust in the bond we’ve built, and trust in myself.

This silence between us doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten me. Perhaps they’re giving me the space I need, respecting my process. That’s the kind of person they are—patient, understanding, and considerate. And instead of letting my mind spiral, I should lean into that truth.

A Promise to Myself
I’m writing this now with a heavy heart and tears falling down. The love I feel is real, but so is the struggle. I promise to work on myself, to not let overthinking steal the joy of this relationship. I will focus on the moments that matter, the moments where they’ve shown me care and affection.

Love is patient and kind, and I want to embody that patience and kindness for both of us. I may not be perfect, and neither are they, but together we can navigate these challenges. This love is worth fighting for—not against each other, but against the doubts that threaten to creep in.

So, I’ll wait for the silence to pass. When it does, I’ll be ready to listen and speak with clarity, not from a place of fear but from a place of love. Because that’s what this person deserves—the best of me, not the version weighed down by overthinking.

And until then, I’ll hold onto faith, knowing that love can endure even the heaviest of thoughts.