The Science of Kissing

Did you know that the average person will spend around 20,160 minutes kissing in their lifetime? That's a lot of smooching! And did you hear about the couple who set the world record for the longest kiss? They locked lips for an impressive 58 hours, 35 minutes, and 58 seconds! But have you ever wondered why we kiss?

Have you ever thought about how kissing started? It's kind of weird to think about, right? I mean, the first two people in human history must have just been like, "let's stick our faces together." But, even though it might have been gross at first, kissing now represents peace, respect, passion, and love. And, let's be real, kissing feels pretty darn good and it's actually good for you too!

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Did you know that a passionate kiss burns about 2–3 calories per minute?

Not only that, but it also releases epinephryn and norepinephryn into the blood, which makes your heart pump faster. Kissing more often has been linked to a reduction of bad cholesteral and perceived stress. But why are we wired to love kissing so much? It's a fascinating question to ponder.

There's this story that says Pacman was inspired by a pizza with a slice missing. But it's actually only half-true, according to Pacman's creator, Toru Iwatani. He also rounded out the shape of the Japanese character for "mouth" to create Pacman's shape. And when you think about it, Pacman's love for eating and his mouth bring us closer to the heart of a kiss.

Did you know that kissing might have originated from "kiss-feeding"?

This is when pre-chewed food is exchanged from one mouth to another. Mother birds and many primates do this, and it used to be common between human mothers and their children. Before baby food became widely available, it made a lot of sense to do this.

Alicia Silverstone recently shared a video of herself mouth feeding her child. Some people found it strange, but it's actually beneficial for healthy mothers and children. Kiss feeding provides nutrients like carbohydrates, proteins, iron and zinc, which may not always be available in breast milk. Additionally, an adult's saliva can help pre-digest the food, making it easier for the baby to absorb vitamins like B-12. So, it's not as weird as it may seem!

Kissing has a long history of intimacy, trust, and closeness. Your saliva carries information about you and your health. Hormones like testosterone can be tasted through kissing. A good kiss can be a sign that your kisser might be a good mate.

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Back in prehistoric times, kissing was a way to choose a mate.

Those who enjoyed it and did it more often may have made better decisions and picked better partners. This led to more successful reproduction and eventually became the norm. And now, we have people who love kissing thanks to our ancestors' wise choices!

Even though babies' vision is limited, it's no surprise that they can see the benefits of things from a distance. In fact, from birth to four months, babies can only focus on things that are about 8–10 inches away from their face, which happens to be about the distance to their mother's face while breastfeeding. So even though their vision isn't great, they still have a good sense of what's important.

When we're babies, we can focus on faces, especially ones looking at us. This is probably why we're super good at detecting faces. In fact, we're so good that we sometimes see faces where there aren't any. It's called "pareidolia." Since humans are social creatures, it makes sense that we're good at recognizing faces.

Have you ever thought about how we can tell when someone is looking at us?

It turns out that it's all in the eyes. Predators who need to remain hidden have evolved to have less obvious gazes. But for humans, our white scleras (the area around our iris) are actually helpful in quickly figuring out where someone is looking. This is an important part of our eye structure that helps us communicate nonverbally.

Did you know that our brains have amazing gaze-direction networks? They have individual neurons that fire up when someone looks directly at us. But, if the gaze shifts just a bit, these neurons stop firing. It's pretty impressive, right?

Did you know that we can sense when someone is watching us? It's true! Even people with "Scopophobia" can feel it. But here's the catch: you have to be able to see the person staring at you for it to work. If someone is staring at you from behind, there's no way to tell if you're being watched.

Have you ever heard of the "Psychic Staring Effect"?

Well, it's actually considered pseudo-science. There's no solid evidence that supports its existence. Some people believe that when you stare at someone, it causes them to look up and catch your gaze. However, when no one is watching, attachment can still occur. For example, infants often form a strong bond with their mothers because of the food they provide, not because of staring or vision.

When we're born, our mothers give us nourishment and love. But what if we got that nourishment from a scary "Wire Mother"? In the 1950's, Harry Harlow did experiments on monkeys at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. His findings changed how we understand attachment. But by today's standards, his work was unethical. Harlow separated baby monkeys from their mothers and put them in cages with two fake mothers: a soft one that did nothing and a wire one that gave food. But the baby monkeys didn't bond with the wire mother. When Harlow scared them, they clung to the soft, cuddly cloth-mother instead. Harlow's research showed that nurturing attachment was more important than food for newborn creatures, as warmth and comfort were essential. He even created a rejecting mother that pushed baby monkeys away with a blast of air. Surprisingly, the monkeys clung even tighter to their rejecting mothers instead of seeking comfort elsewhere. What's amazing is that the instinct for warmth and comfort is so strong in newborns that it not only resists frustration but also becomes stronger because of it.

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Eckhard Hess conducted a test on ducklings. He tried to discourage them from following the object they imprinted on by using electric shocks. However, this only made them follow even more closely than before. It may seem paradoxical that a "wire mother" or a rejecting mother or electric shocks could cause more attachment, love, and dependence. But paradoxes can teach us valuable lessons. Oscar Wilde once said that a paradox is the truth standing on its head to catch our attention.

Back in 1955, A.E. Fisher did an experiment on puppies. He divided them into three groups. The first group got lots of love and kindness from the researchers whenever they came near. The second group, on the other hand, were punished for doing the same thing. Some puppies were treated kindly, some were punished, and some were randomly treated one way or the other. The third group of puppies grew up in a world of uncertainty, never knowing what to expect. Surprisingly, this group became the most attached to the researchers and depended on them the most. The "Polarity Principle" suggests that stress and uncertainty can actually enhance feelings of attachment and love.

Feeling uncertain can make us feel more attached and dependent. Life can seem unpredictable and out of our control, leading us to accept things blindly. It's like being one of those puppies in the third group. However, it's better to face uncertainty and make informed decisions. That's why activities that turn uncertainty into knowledge are favored in life. 

Not everyone is the perfect match for you, but that's okay. Kissing someone shouldn't be necessary if it didn't matter who you chose. But it does feel good and brings us pleasure. So, why not go out and kiss someone today?