The One Hit Wonder

The One Hit Wonder

Rain clatters against the windows, as I sit in another Toronto traffic jam. The wipers on my little red mini’s windscreen are barely keeping up with the torrent of water falling from the black sky. The car in front moves forward a few yards, and I hurriedly close the gap, lest some chancer from one of the lanes next to me, tries to squeeze into the minute gap.

The radio is set to my favourite station, 77.7fm radio seven, playing obscure songs of the seventies. It never ceases to amaze me how many there are. Most never made it to the hit parade, unless you are working with a top 700 that is. Some are one hit wonders; others are just plain awful but, it makes for remarkably interesting listening. The station runs a competition where, they play a short 7 second burst backwards, of a particular song. The aim is to try and guess the song. Some of the go on for a few days before someone guess it, others may take weeks or more. The current one has actually been running for nearly seven months. The prize money started out at $77 but, because of the exponential method they use to increase the fund each time a guess is wrong, it now stood at $17,777. Another contestant was now on air trying to guess the answer but, got it totally wrong with Little Red Hook by Dr Dare and Colin.

The traffic moved forward another car length, and the prize money was now up to $20,000 which, the presenter declares is the maximum it is going to be. Wow, I declared to myself and the otherwise empty car, I wouldn’t mind twenty grand.

The trouble is though, it’s so hard to get through, just like this traffic jam really. I had tried many times but the line was always engaged. The cars around me moved forward and the car in front pushed into the outside lane, allowing me to move forward a full two car lengths. I cheered and grinned, two car lengths in this debacle was quite the prize!

Feeling on a high, I pressed the speed dial for the radio station and, once again it was engaged. Ah well, maybe next time. I disconnected the call but, I must have touched it twice because my phone dialled the number again. It was ringing. Once again I exclaimed a ‘wow!’ to the car, and thanked that part of me that instinctively connects my hands-free device when I get in the car!

Now there was a voice ‘you are through to 77.7 radio seven, this is Mark Cullen and you are live on air. Who am I speaking to?’ I gave my name and mumbled a little about the traffic and the weather. Mark said ‘so Genni, I’ll play the seven second burst, and you can tell us what your guess is, are you ready?’ With out thinking I heard myself say ‘I don’t need you to play it, I know what it is’. The car behind me honked his horn and I realised I needed to move forward another four feet. ‘Okay Genni, you sound very confident that you know a song, that nearly nine hundred listeners have failed to recognise. Let’s have your guess please!’

‘The song is Small Black Notebook by Namron Yellerts and the Secrets. It was released on the Templar label, on sixth June 1976, and sold a grand total of three hundred and eleven copies.’ There was silence on the radio for five whole seconds (which is tantamount to heresy when time is, quite literally, money!). ‘Genni, I can’t believe I’m finally saying this but, you are absolutely correct’ announced Mark, ‘I am very happy to tell you, you have just won twenty thousand dollars! So very well done Genni! Please remain on the line, and we’ll get your details. Stunningly well done!’. A woman’s voice took over and I gave her the information that she asked for. And then the phone went dead.

I was in shock. I had known the answer from the very beginning. Well, I should have done really. In a previous life, I was Namron Yellerts and I had written the song. As far as knowing it backwards was concerned, when we recorded the track, we didn’t have anything to go on the B side so, we just replayed it backwards and put it on the flip side.

As the rain started to get lighter, the traffic started to move forward, and I passed three vehicles and a police car off to the side of the road. Another prang on the highway. As I moved forward, I had an interesting thought. I never thought that song was going to make any money but now, because of that small black notebook, I am $20,000 richer. Life is strange.