The Meaning of Christmas

Last night I was sitting at my table looking at my bank account and feeling the stress, mental and financial, that Christmas is presenting me.

As with so many people all over the world 2021 has been a difficult year for me financially. I was scrolling the online shipping sites to find one gift that would be "good enough" to send to my daughter and her family, and one for my brother and his wife all the while thinking "How can I send a nice gift and still purchase food and medications for my dogs, make sure the bills are paid, and have food in my cabinets to last me for two weeks?", which is when I get paid again. I sat there pondering this dilemma and my inner happy began to melt away like paint dripping down a wall.

If I could, I would send everyone a gift and donate to several animal rescues, because my heart is in animal rescue, but this year I just can't and I began to feel that it was me who was lacking because I could not afford to send something nice to each person. Will they like it? Will they wonder why I didn't send more? When did these kinds of thoughts become synonymous with Christmas? I couldn't believe that I was letting myself feel so bad about this. It was at this point that I decided to close my laptop and write out my Christmas cards to my co-workers, yes, I wrote out individual messages inside each card. Once I completed that I took a shower and went to bed. I woke up this morning and this is what I decided: I don't owe anyone a gift. A gift is just that, a gift, but if it means that it takes food and medication and necessities from myself or my dogs, then a Christmas card and my deepest felt warm wishes will have to do, and if that is not enough, then we need to rethink the expectations of Christmas and what it means. My birthday is Christmas day and my gift to myself will be to fill my refrigerator with food for two weeks and fill my gas tank in my car without feeling guilty that I didn't give what I don't have.

I live my life with a giving heart, I will buy a person who is hungry a meal, I will help my local rescues by volunteering my time, and donate food, dog beds, and money for the dogs who are in need of a warm place to lay their head and not just because it is a holiday. This year I will celebrate my dog's GOTCHA day, which is 12/26, and know that he is mine, he is safe, and will never be chained, hungry, alone. I will send my brother and his wife and my daughter and her beautiful family a lovely Godiva gift basket and know in my heart that they will appreciate it because it was sent out of love, and they love all of the perfectly imperfect me exactly the way I am.

I decided to sit and share this with you all because if you are reading this and you, like me, are feeling bad, sad, depressed, anxious, or stressed, because you feel that you can't give what others expect you to give, I am here to tell you to STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! If your friends and family do not appreciate what you are able to give, that is their measure, not yours. Let me repeat that, IT IS THEM, NOT YOU!!

This and any other holiday have nothing to do with giving the material things, that is a man-made idea created by merchants and big businesses to line their pockets, make you feel guilty, and take what you don't have to give. Give what you can (without using credit cards), do not do without the necessities, or put yourself into debt trying to make others happy with material things, because I promise you in six months or a year, that gift probably won't even matter. Send a card, pick up the phone and make a phone call or video call (not a text, let them hear and see your beautiful face), write a letter (with a pen and paper), or plan a nice get-together to share a meal. If they care about you, they will not want you to go without what you need just so they can have something that really isn't important.

The holidays can be lonely and stressful enough as it is, love yourself enough to do what you can without doing without or going into debt. Those who love you will appreciate whatever you do.

MAY EVERYONE HAVE A MERRY MAGICKAL HOLIDAY. May you be well, and may you be happy.