THE LEDGER

As I looked into Malcolm's eyes, I couldn’t reconcile how the man I love could put a little black book over another person’s life.

MARTIN

Ever since the cradle we believed in superheroes: me, Malcolm, and Tia. Even In our foster home we would get up early on Saturday mornings to catch all the superhero cartoons. We would fill up our giant community bowl of captain crunch cereal and disappear from our reality. Those were the days; even growing up in the system in this cruel world those cartoons helped us believe there was hope. Tia later got adopted by a nice family in Roswell, Ga. We stayed in touch, but that foster home was never the same after she left. Malcom and I stayed in the system and somehow managed to survive those times, making it through high school in one piece.

After we graduated high school, Malcolm enlisted into the US Army while I stayed here and went to college for human services. Tia stayed in touch with him and would send letters to all his different duty stations. It always bothered me that she never reached out to me.

Once Malcolm got back from his deployment to Afghanistan, he transitioned into the National Guard. He thought it would be an easy gig but turns out he had his work cut out for him with all the unrest caused by the pandemic.

It was during that time that me, Malcolm, and Tia decided to live our childhood dream and be real-life superheroes. Though Malcolm was dealing with PTSD from his deployment, he decided to start his own non-profit to help those in need during the pandemic.

Malcolm got called up to the capital as a reservist to support the inauguration of the new president. I came with him to take in the sights while also planning for our next community outreach in Atlanta during his free time. Of course, this also included a fair share of bar hopping.

One of the first bars we went to we met the man known around D.C. as “Uncle”. Uncle, not even acknowledging me, walked over wearing a navy suit (which by the way, if you’re going to get a tailored suit you probably should have it tailored to hide your beer belly).

Uncle had a deep southern drawl, and smelled of sweat and whisky.

“Well, I'll be darned! Looka here, aint you a sight for sore eyes. Malcolm, why haven't I seen you since your little victory tour in Afghanistan?”

Malcom’s eyes opened wide in surprise, “Sir I’m surprised you remembered me!”

But Uncle, in quick reply, said “Son, you’re an American hero. You know what, let me buy you a drink.” Of course, Uncle didn’t offer me a drink, but I wasn’t an American hero.

Uncle prattled on throughout the night about how this country has gone to hell in a handbasket. “You see I’m a simple man Malcolm I’m not like them stuffed shirts up here. I ain't got no fancy edgy-cation. There’s no true Americans left in this country; everyone wants a free meal. Then they want to crucify men like you and me. We are the real Americans. We’re the ones who are willing to drench our hands in the blood, shit, and tears of our enemy to protect our way of life.”

As it grew late, I urged Malcom to pay our tabs so we could leave. Every moment around this man my instincts screamed “get away”. He was a snake. This man “Uncle” was not good business.

But before we could leave, Uncle grabbed Malcolm by the shoulder with his pudgy hands, covered in gold rings. He said “You know what Malcolm? You’re a good one. I’m having a little get-together next weekend at my estate in Blue Ridge. You should join us! It’ll be a good ol time; I won’t take no for an answer.”

MALCOLM

Greed has no boundaries

~Aristotle

It was an unusually good day for a Saturday in February, but that’s to be expected with bipolar Georgia weather. The sun was shining, the sky was soft baby blue. The cluster of beautiful pine trees was never ending. Across these rolling hills, the brisk mountain air blowing through the winding mountain roads are enough to make a man forget about his troubles. As we drove up to the estate, Martin was silent. I expected him to ride his high horse for the entirety of the trip up to Blue Ridge. But no time for that. This could be the most important day of my life, I need to stay focused.

We finally arrived at Uncle’s estate, and of course it was the epitome of southern charm. Lush pristine blue grass as far as the eye could see, large white columns in the entryway, and a horseshoe driveway.

We truly had arrived. If we could get Uncle to support our organization, we could change the world.

As we entered the estate, the smell of mahogany, liquor, and cigar smoke filled the air. A group of what could only be described as shrewd businessmen dripping with ambition sat around the veranda chuckling. When Uncle entered the room they all became silent. Which made it even more awkward when Uncle bee-lined to me shouting “Malcolm my boy you made it, how was the drive you must be parched. Let me get you some good stuff.”

I followed Uncle off the veranda into his study, and then Uncle circled behind me and shut the sturdy oak doors behind him. He walked over to the cigar room and lit a cigar. “Malcolm, let’s talk business. Now I know you’re probably wondering why I invited you to my little hob-knob party. Malcolm, I’m not really about charity; you can tell that just by looking at the cut of my suit. However, fortunate for you I think we could come to an arrangement of sorts that could be beneficial for both of us.”

“See since that little incident in the capitol some of the troublesome agencies have been keeping a closer eye on my activities. I’m in need of someone to guard some sensitive information for me. Nothing too sinister, just a little black book known as The Ledger. Now Malcolm, the reason I’m trusting this to you is because you are the very essence of what it means to be a patriot. This ledger could destroy our American way of life. Now son I’m not asking for something for nothing. If you guard this ledger, I will compensate you handsomely. Here’s your first check.”

I picked the check up from the table. It was for $20,000.00. Sadly, I guess I was expecting more. Uncle clearly noticed my disappointment.

“That's for your first week, as long as you hold up your end of the arrangement you’ll get a check in the mail each week.”

My jaw dropped to the floor. This was it. The opportunity of a lifetime. Our chance to truly change the world. I looked over to Martin and said “what do you think?”

Martin just stared.

“Malcolm I ain't got all day for you to be daydreaming boy. I know it’s a lot of money but get a hold of yourself. Will you guard this ledger with your life? Understand me: no one can know of the existence of this ledger. You must protect this information with the utmost prejudice.”

I told Uncle the obvious answer: “I will guard this ledger with my life”.

Uncle smiled, taking a long draw of his cigar.

As soon as we left the driveway Martin lost his freaking mind, yelling for at least 20 minutes about how I made a deal with the devil.

But I was sick of hearing him moan over and over like the judgmental child he was. The next words I said I immediately regretted.

“You know what Martin, you’re full of shit. You say you want to save the world but what have you done for the world for the last five years? Nothing. You’ve hid in your comfortability talking about being a good person. You’re too afraid to go into the real world and actually make a difference. At the end of the day, you don’t get results. So, feel free to judge me as I save the world without you.”

TIA

“I see no evil because love is blind.”

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

As I sat there watching Malcolm on stage, I knew I should feel happy. But our dream felt more like an ominous glass house that could come crashing down at any moment. The crowd applauded at the end of Malcolm’s speech. My sweet Malcolm had done it. He went from underdog to overnight success. Malcolm had New York’s wealthiest fighting over his attention like he was the only boy at prom. They loved our regaling underdog story from working in the church basement, to fundraiser at the Met Gala. Malcolm recollected when we were kids at the foster home going over his master plans to save the world. I gave a hollow smile all the while.

He still hadn’t explained to me how he came into this small fortune, seemingly overnight. I didn’t have the courage to confront him. How could I with all the good he’s done in these last couple of months? At the end of the day does it really matter as long as we're helping people? At least that’s the lie I tell myself.

As we moved back into the cocktail party, the hobnobbing began without interruption. Out of the corner of the room a severely underdressed courier approached me.

“Are you Tia Gladwell?”

“Yes”, I replied awkwardly.

“I have a parcel for you, can you sign here please?”

“Umm- sure no problem. But wait. So someone wanted you to deliver a package to me here tonight at the gala? I didn’t even know they still did that.”

“Yeah, neither did I but I just work here. My boss told me I had to deliver this to you. Here you go, have a good night.”

The letter was addressed from someone named Martin.

I opened the parcel to find a letter. As I began reading my heart sank to my stomach. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I realized I needed to talk to Malcolm now. I beelined to Malcolm and said “We need to talk- now.”

“Tia I’m a little busy at the moment as you can see”

I looked over at the stuffed tuxedo next to him, smiled, and said, “I apologize sir I need Malcom right now.”

Then I grabbed Malcolm by his wrist and headed for the parking deck.

Once we were far enough away from prying eyes and ears, I gave Malcom the letter.

“What is this?” I shouted.

Malcolm read the letter quietly. Then he asked, “Who gave you this?”

I replied, “Your buddy Martin.”

Malcolm shouted, “Martin, how could betray me, you’re my best friend!”

“How could I betray you? Malcolm you betrayed everything we believed in. She had a right to know what you were getting her involved in.”

“Martin you don’t know what you’ve done you naïve child.”

Martin replied “Just come clean and do the right thing.”

Malcolm replied “it’s too late for that.”

Martin turned to Tia, and in a low somber voice said, “Tia, run.”

I trembled as I gripped my purse.

“Malcolm or whoever the hell you are, don’t you come near me”

“I’m sorry Tia I wish it didn’t have to come to this”, Malcolm Replied.

That is the moment when Malcolm took a hammer to our glass house. As his hands reached out for me, the only thing I could see were the eyes of his fragmented soul. Strangely as his tears hit my face, the feeling that surged into my heart wasn’t fear, but rather disappointment in myself for not seeing who he had become.