The Inner Child - Who He Is and What Emotions He Still Carries

It is often said that the care and affection that a child receives is the foundation on which the adult of tomorrow can develop harmoniously. In other words, if a child discovers the world in a safe and balanced environment, which offers him freedom and healthy limits alike, he is much more likely to form a correct perception of things and have a good self-image.

But it happens that, as adults, we face certain difficulties that have their roots in early experiences. Some of these difficulties are maintained by what we call the inner child and can manifest in important areas of our lives (including parenting or partner roles), so it is often worth exploring to find new ways to manage them and improve the way we feel inside.

What is the inner child?

The "inner child" is difficult to define empirically. In general, it refers to parts of our unconscious that influence the way we function today, parts formed under the influence of lived experiences and emotional footprints from childhood.

The two "identities" of the Inner Child, to which each of us relates, being closer to one or the other, are:

"Injured child" - manifests itself as a result of difficulties in different stages of development and/or unmet needs or blockages. The phrase refers to the self-image developed as a result of traumatic events and the developed fear, adjacent to the trauma.

The "ideal child" (divine or miraculous), who has been untouched by abuse. Here we are talking about the resilient inner child, who enhances our creative, spontaneous, uncensored side.

How does today's adult "keep" difficult childhood situations?

Even if we do not always realize it, we are very connected with the "facets" of the inner child, which can manifest in many situations.

Most of the time, the way we see ourselves and the way we represent our relationships between people are based on the first models of relationships we have.

For example, some people startle or feel tense when they are surrounded by people who talk loudly because as a child they witnessed conflicts between parents and at that time did not receive security or consolation from a close person.

The relationships we build often bear the marks of significant past events. Some people may have difficulty forming healthy relationships, in which to get involved, for fear of being disappointed and hurt if they have had significant traumatic losses in childhood.

The inner child can sometimes add to the adult perspective views from childhood. If a child has been overly criticized by his or her parents, it is very likely that, as an adult, he or she will be afraid of criticism and experience the same emotions as in childhood when, for example, he or she is put in front of an employer who minimizes his or her work. make critical comments.

On the same note, an over-disciplined child may become an inflexible adult who finds it difficult to set boundaries or say no without feeling guilty, and a child who has not been offered healthy boundaries will have difficulty integrating. - and set and follow the objectives.

How can we heal our wounded inner child?

For many people, connecting with the inner child can be a difficult process - because it often involves accessing less pleasant memories.

On the other hand, when we work consciously and constantly to solve childhood problems, we have the opportunity to discover and use the qualities of the inner child: playful spirit, enthusiasm, creativity, spontaneity, physical and mental resilience, imagination, love of life, curiosity, innocence, optimism, free expression of emotions and feelings.

There are several ways we can explore the inner child's universe:

• Through psychotherapy, with a psychotherapist who can help us discover the inner child and cure him of the things that generate imbalances in adult life;

• Through guided meditation / hypnotic trance (with a specialist);

• Through play and recreational activities specific to childhood;

Looking at photos or various objects that remind us of childhood and analyzing the emotions that surround us with the recollection of those events.

Getting to know your inner child can be a great opportunity for healing and growth. In other words, by paying attention to the things we feel or say, by trying to find patterns of behavior, we can find the source of some difficulties, and, further, we can discover unsuspected inner resources.