The Curse of Loving Too Much

Theoretically, a relationship involves two people. It often happens that one carries the burden of love alone.

You love him and you know he loved you once. You count how much you give and how little you receive. You think about all the compromises you have made out of the desire to maintain the relationship, you think about how much you have sacrificed yourself and you at least expect to have the gratitude and respect of the one next to you. He gets used to it, though. He gets used to everything ready and slowly comes to consider that everything is ready.

The moment you stop, take a deep breath, put your hand on the imaginary pencil and calculate the contribution made by you and him to the couple's life, you realize that you are the only one who makes the effort. You feel slightly frustrated and do not understand why the law of equity does not work in a couple.

From the moment you start calculating the amount of love offered, the relationship begins to collapse. From the moment you raise the issue of the nature of your relationship, you are about to lose it.

Why? A healthy relationship does not return to itself. When things go well, then we do not talk to each other about our relationship, but about ourselves. When we become estranged, when communication tends to become an exchange of information, a crack occurs.

When quarrels become inevitable, we blame communication. It is already a fashion to say that the number 1 public enemy is communication. However, today we are communicating more and more.

We have mobile phones to call our husband when he is not with us, we have the internet to communicate through several senses. And yet, we complain about the lack of communication.

Communication is not the problem, nor its lack, but the way we perceive it. Communication does not mean simply transmitting the information.

If in the morning for coffee, I tell my husband about the little one's notes, and in the evening at bedtime, I tell him the most important news, because he didn't get to see them on TV, it doesn't mean that I communicate. I transmit information, but I forget to create that secret communion, that relationship, necessary for authentic communication.

You talk, he hears you, but he doesn't understand you. Many times, we imagine that our partner should guess all our thoughts. We burden him with our hopes and hope that he will intuit them. Subtle allusions do not mean communication, but fear, the fear of not being hurt or being hurt.

It is known that men and women come from two different worlds. For this reason, we will always have a dialogue between the deaf and dumb if we let the other guess in the stars what we want.

And we will begin to believe that he has slowly drifted away, as he has disappointed our expectations. We may have removed him by refusing to tell him what we want.

Do you love it too much? "Too much love will kill you", as Queen sings - but what does too much love mean? When you love, you love - you can't control how you feel and how intensely you feel. You can't stop loving someone…

There is no love too much. No one has the right to weigh the love offered. But there is the illusion of loving too much. Because when you live this drama, you closed your eyes a long time ago, you covered your ears and your mouth, so as not to witness the change of the one with whom you want to live your whole life.