The Couple Who Can't Decide...

On a cold Friday in February 2020; I decided to jump out of my comfort zone, and I signed up for facebook dating. This same Friday I was matched with this 38 yr old from PA that lived in Lake Pan FL which is only 30 -45 min from Brooksville, FL. Him and I decided that we wanted to meet so we didnt waste anyone's time. His name is Adam. He is 5'10" roughly 220 lbs bald head with a little bit of facial hair. My first opion was DAMN he is fine as fuck. I instantly got butterflies. I was hoping he felt the same things as we were getting to know each other.

     We decided to go into my apartment so we could cuddle up and watch a movie; I put on Bumblebee The Transformers. He then wrapped his arm around my stomach and instantly sent a cold chill all through my body. This made me feel warmth, safe, and comfort as I ended up passing out while watching the movie. Eventually he passed out holding me. When we woke up everything seemed to go into fast mode for some odd reason. We talked everyday! We decided to start dating as our feelings for each other grew on one another very fast. After about 2 weeks Adam was getting scared because his feelings for me became very strong very fast. So Adam put a hold on coming over, talking everyday too he needed to end things. As my feelings for him were stronger than ever I didn't want to lose him forever; so I asked him what if we took a step backwards and we were just friends with benefits! I had sweat dripping off my forehead, it was the longest 10 second pause of my life as he mumbled "sure". I said really... There was a smile on my face from ear to ear.

  So lets step back a second. Does anyone really know how to take a step back in a relationship when ur feelings for one another are strong? I have a hard time dealing with this myself. I'm hurting myself by not speaking up and telling him, what I feel from the bottom of my heart but at the same time, I know I have to step back to respect his wishes.

      In late March 2020. I started working at a fish room called Fishtales, that was located in Dade City, FL. A fish room as they call it: is a room with these tables in them that seat 8 people with a 70in flat screen TV in the middle of the table; which have a money tree, a woman, a man, crabs, many types big and small of fish, whales, ECT. Just remember everytime you push the shoot button it cost you anywhere from $0.05 all the way up to $3.00. The amount is determined by what you choose. The money tree is like free money in a way its' random. It first chooses the seat number between 1-8 then a random amount of money goes to that person just for being in that seat. Yes this is a form of gambeling because you never know how much money your going to win or lose. Its' a game of chance. On April 7th, 2020 is very special but will never be forgotten as its Jaden's 13th birthday. Jaden and Jacob are Courtneys' boys. Courtney is my roommate. They boys call me their second mom. Since it's Jadens' birthday; Erica another employee opened Fishtales and I told Courtney the manager of Fishtables that I would work from 4pm to close so she could spend some time with her son. At 3:00pm Courtney took me to work because she needed to do a mid day count. We arrived at 3:30pm and at 3:33pm The Fishtales was raided by several Pasco County. I didn't really understand what was going on at the time but I did do as they asked. Courtney, Erica and myself were all given a notice to appear in court on May 1, 2020 for Maintaing a Gambeling Game Room.

    On Thursday April 30, 2020 at about 9 AM Courtney and I was rudely woken up by the Police. They asked for Jenna. I spoke up and said that is me! The officer then told me to turn aroumd place my hands behind my back. The officer then told me "I have three warrants out for my arrest for the gambeling game room which are Gambling, Possession of a coin operated device, and Violate Disaster Preparedness Emergency Management."I was so confused because it was not yet May 1st and that is the date I was told to appear in court that I received the same day of the raid. I didn't understand why they could give me the notice to appear in court for then turn around add more charges plus issue a warrant before I had that chance to show up. Courtney and I were both arrested together for the same warrants.

      Courtney and I both had our bail money. Courtney's boyfriend bailed her out. I actually got through to Adam. I of course had to explain why I'm in jail and needing him to bail me out. I only spent 14 long agganey hours in the jail. When I was released Adam came over to my house, stayed the night with me to calm me down. When I saw him, I had this instant tingeling rush go through my veins. He always made me feel so warm, safe, secure, loved, and wanted. Those for me are the best feelings in the whole world. My connection with Adam every time I see him is like no other. We can start right back where we left off everytime.

A few months pass by Adam and I would only exchange a few text messages and phone calls only about when and what happened at court. On the first friday night in October 2020, Adam called me asking me if I wanted to go mudding with him and some of his friends. I of course said yes! He picked me up around 7:30pm. We met up with his friends at The Circle K Gas Station. We then headed for the mud holes at 9pm. This was my first time mudding in years. I had a blast and stayed out until 4 AM. When we were done Adam took us back to his place so we could get some sleep even though it was only a couple of hours. Well the rest of the weekend passed with little messages back and fourth and same through the week. Now it's Friday again, this time Adam is at this bar called Lighthouse and is drinking. He picked up his phone called me. It's not that I care if he was drinking, but damn I instantly became worried about him driving. His words were coming out of his mouth slurring, talking some nonsense. So yup he was oh so drunk. I had no choice but to go over there and make sure he is good; instead he drove to my house. Adam and I spent the rest of Friday Night hanging out together. Saturday we spent all day cuddeling and even into the night. I have never in my life been showed this much love, and effection from someone. This time my stomache was starting to hurt as i was starting to feel like I am falling in love with him. When Adam would look at me with a daze in his eyes, I felt as if he were starting to fall in love with me. This was scaring me as I have no idea what to do or how to slow it down. I hate this as you know its moving to fast but your feelings are very strong, like when you lay down with my head on his chest all cuddled up; then I glance up at his barely lit up face, thought to myself I love you and just then I was about to whisper those same exact words as he whispered what quickly, I responded with Good Night Babe. At that moment he kissed the top of my head and whispered Good Night Baby.