The Components Of Authentic Communication

The ultimate goal of communication is to be able to be as authentic as possible with ourselves and those around us and to obtain sincerity and interest from the interlocutors.

To obtain authentic communication, to gain the honesty of the dialogue partners, it is important first of all to offer them this ourselves.

Whether we are talking about business relationships, couple relationships, or those between parents and children, honest communication has a few simple principles:

1. To listen.

Active listening (ie the process by which you try to understand what you are being told and to dialogue on the side of mutual understanding of the message) is the stage without which effective communication is not possible, much less authentic communication.

Listening without interrupting the other is not only a sign of good growth and respect but also an essential element in building trust.

2. Do not use aggressive language.

Practices such as language aggression, gossip, denigration of people in informal discussions, negative feedback given in the public, explicit statement of authority, "that's what I told you to do, that's what you do!"; "I decide, not you!" etc.) will discourage your interlocutors from giving you their trust and sincerity.

3. Get the commitment.

The involvement of the interlocutor, the creation of connections, the use of words that imply participation ("us", "together", etc.) are mechanisms through which the commitment of those in front of us is obtained and the bases for authentic communication are created.

4. Ask for and value feedback.

"What do you think?", "What do you think we should do?", "Would your opinion help me?" - all these are simple formulas by which we ask for feedback. We must assume that feedback is not always positive and know how to value the truth of what we are told.

5. Maintain trust.

If you have gained the trust of the interlocutor and he opens up to you, this behavior will last exactly as long as it is mutually supportive. Authentic communication will exist only if both parties use sincerity, respect, and desire for the common good in the communication process.

We all want honesty in the relationships we build.

How many times has it happened to you, at the beginning of a relationship, that your partner tells you that he hates lying or that he wants you to be honest with each other? Honesty in communication disappears when there are hidden, manipulative intentions, when the other person is afraid, to tell the truth, or feels embarrassed, or when the other person knows that honesty will hurt your feelings.

In general, it is not impossible to "read" those people who use manipulation to communicate. This kind of person is not limited to practicing manipulation and lying in one dimension of their existence and so - through analysis and a confrontation - we can discern when someone is not authentic in communication.

Authentic communication also suffers when the other person is afraid to tell you the truth. If, for example, we are authoritative and rigid parents in communication, our children will refrain from being honest with us in all aspects of their lives.

Last but not least, the honest communication we try to use is avoided when the person next to us does not want to hurt our feelings.

Honesty can only be achieved by practicing it. Although sometimes we do not want to affect those around us when the truths we want to tell are unpleasant, it is good to practice and encourage the truth told with empathy and elegance. Let us show that we are not afraid of genuine feedback, even when it is less pleasant - because the truth will help us to correct our mistakes, improve our behaviors, and to develop our human qualities.