The Ashen Box

She could still feel the heat rising from the ash through her thick boots as she walked in a daze towards the old front door. Around her lay the remnants of 50 years of family memories. And thousands of years of that land's history. As she crossed the missing threshold, she turned her head instinctively towards the non-existent hall table and choked back tears, recalling the photographs of her grandparents that had forever stood there. Everything was gone. No living room to open birthday and Christmas presents in. No dining room to share laughter and celebratory dinners in. And no kitchen to break news over a cup of tea in.

For several moments Lexie stood staring into the empty space. It was here where she’d been forced to remain at the table until she’d finished her dinner. And here where her mother had squeezed her tight as she sobbed after the break up with her first love. It was also here where she’d told her mum that she was pregnant and shared her joys and fears about the journey ahead. It was here where she most needed her mum now.

Suddenly a gentle pat on her back broke her daydream. “Come on Mum” Daisy whispered. “We’re going to be late”.

Lexy moved without words, all the time gazing, glassy-eyed around her as Daisy began coercing her out of the house and back towards the car. As she approached the front door once more she stumbled. From beneath the dirt the corner of a small old-fashioned tin lunch box revealed itself. A slight smile crept onto Lexie's lips as she remembered the secret spot that her mother had created for them. It was a fox sized hole just underneath the front doorstep where she had stored a small number of personal things. Lexie had never quite known why her mother had done it but she loved sharing that little secret just between them. After a slight pause, Daisy bent down and picked up the warm box. She curiously handed it to her mother taking comfort in the temporary joy it had brought her. Lexie held it close to her chest absorbing its warmth and they continued back down to the road.

In the privacy of the car, Daisy snuck a look at her mother’s stoney face. As a daughter she lacked experience in being the comforter. Her mother had always played that role. She couldn’t help but worry for their future. They would not be able to rebuild the house with no insurance and now there was only a lunch box to account for her mothers entire childhood. As she stared out at her grandmother in the hearse in front she knew these were not the thoughts she should be having at this moment.

Lexie fumbled with the lock on the lunchbox and with shaking-hands sifted through its contents. A small trowel, a doll's-house-sized horse, a pink handkerchief and a small black notebook. She cautiously opened the notebook watching with surprise as years worth of lotto tickets fell from inside. Daisy laughed remembering her grandfather’s scorn of gambling, especially lottery games. “A waste of bloody money” he would say. “I’ve got everything I need right here”. Lexie and Daisy smiled at one another. To think, her grandmother had been secretly playing the lottery all along!

Her mother turned to stare out of the window as they pulled up in front of the old church and Daisy picked up the tickets that had fallen to the floor. The same numbers were circled on each ticket. 30 10 64 18 4 94. Her mother’s birthday and her own. She pulled out her phone and silently whispered “Sorry grandad” as she submitted her grandmother's numbers one more time before they committed her to the earth.

…

“'We therefore commit this body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust”.

With tears caressing both of their cheeks, Daisy hugged her mother and they watched the earth slowly cover the coffin. Sympathetic smiles from the other guests met them as they turned to walk away in contemplative silence. It was at that moment when Daisy’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She did not recognise the number. Cautiously she picked it up and quietly croaked “Hello?”.

“Congratulations …”