The Acknowledgement

She loved their new suburban Maryland home even if it was leased. It was theirs. At least for the next 12 months. The house had no sick parents, no confused mother on the floor desperately trying to clean up the mess she’d made, no angry sisters, no gaslighting and no fighting. No misunderstandings. No flying monkeys, smear campaigns or hysterical tears. And above all else, no one dying. The angry, bitter storm clouds were dissipating. The turbulence they had created leaving with them and allowing auto pilot to kick in.

Kim, her husband David, and their son Robbie had moved to Maryland 5 years ago when Robbie was a rising 5th grader. . It turned out to be a dangerously bad decision. It could have been okay, but Robbie had no warning. It turns out, kids need warnings.

It was supposed to be a short visit when they left their house in the low country of South Carolina. But Kim was asked if she’d maybe just “please stay and help?” Mom was creating problems for Jim, her stepfather, at the dental office. Mom was incontinent and confused. Kim, her husband David, and Robbie were the “only people who could do it” since Kim and David both worked from home. And then the love bombing came and the unfulfilled promises. They’d move in with mom and Jim and can you even imagine the opportunity? And the money potentially saved? The too good to be true opportunity should have been declined but the pull of family obligation created a vortex too powerful to escape. No one anticipated that in the next five years both David’s parents would die, Kim and David’s marriage would almost end. Robbie would attempt to take his life; Kim would shut down from hidden narcissistic abuse and one sister, Whitney, would suddenly get cancer and pass away. Whitney’s death was almost unbearable. The narcissistic abuse felt like a situation they almost didn’t survive. But there was no almost with Whitney, just like horse shoes and hand grenades,

Whitney who used to joke she wanted her tombstone to read, “I told you I was sick.”

But here they were alive in this beautiful 3000 sq foot house with a jacuzzi and possibly a tree in the backyard sporting a door that led to a magic mushroom. The house wasn’t perfect. At times it rattled violently when the 737’s took off, but the rattle and roar didn’t much matter. It was heaven on earth to their little family and even more glorious since they’d found it with such speed and secrecy like they were part of the witness protection program. And witness protection it was since Kim’s two surviving sisters had driven around for weeks trying to find out where they lived. It must have been difficult for them: all that narcissistic supply gone. Cold turkey. How did THEY make it out alive?

Summer was ending and the fragrant green onion smelling Maryland grass was turning brown as the kids returned to school. Kim and David had chosen this house they loved so Robbie could walk to school and finish his last two years of high school in a good way. During the day while Robbie was in school and David was driving for Uber, Kim would sit behind the ornate window and stare at the wooded back yard eventually noticing bob whites, blue birds, the occasional red fox and as the sun set, lightning bugs illuminating the yard. Occasionally a deer would stroll by and stare and for some reason it made Kim feel noticed and important.

The space between these unintentional meditations were filled with constant rearranging of their furniture; a trait she shared with her late sister and one she was always grateful her husband never gave her grief about. After all, it gave one a different perspective not to mention a cleaner house! In South Carolina her stepdaughter would claim she liked all the furniture moving since the biological mother was rigid about furniture placement. Kim secretly wished she was more like that: stable, grounded. Not always in motion.

it was surprising to find such a delightful backyard similar to their backyard in Summerville, SC A memory emerged about the time an older neighbor spent one afternoon chatting David up. . David, reserved, shy and disinterested had enjoyed the man so much he later told Kim that they’d talked about nothing specific, but the conversation made an impact. When they learned the next day that the old man had died in the night they sat together in their backyard and unintentionally had a moment of silence. It was then that a white barn owl fell from the pines and cleverly flew towards David, landed on a tree stump, and gave David a nod of acknowledgement. Kim wondered why she was thinking about this barn owl in such specific detail when a white, graceful, Maryland barn owl landed directly in front of the ornate window and acknowledged her. At that very specific moment Kim felt noticed, loved and that everything was and would be okay. After all, what could be better than an acknowledgement from a barn owl?