Tape dispenser

When I was 19 I read a book call "Plato and a platypus walk into a bar" by Daniel B. Klein. The book itself was trying to understand philosophy through jokes. I was trying to be more worldly. I wasn't in college. I was working in entry level job with a small future in a small town. I knew I didn't want that life, but I didn't know how to escape it. Reading this book helped me look at where I was and see my next step, then the step after that. Then the next step. It has been over a decade since I read this book and sadly, I cannot recall the stories or lessons I learned. But there was a comic that stuck with me. It's a simple black and white, one panel comic, involving two snails and one tape dispenser. The first snail says to the second snail "I don't care if she is a tape dispenser. I love her." To this day that is how I think of true unconditional love. No judgement, but acceptance. Acknowledging that differences are not discrepancies.

Seven years after I read this book, I met my best friend on a dating app. We were both looking for love, but found each other instead. We got to know each other. I saw his baggage, he saw me wander aimlessly from job to job and guy to guy. We allowed each other to be there best and worst self without worry about how look to the other. Eventually, the platonic feelings turned romantic.

I was scared, but he was certain that this new level in our relationship would work. I hesitated, because I couldn't gamble losing my best friend. He knew me. He knew my shit and my saving graces. But after a while, I saw the possibility that he saw and I agreed to give us a go.

I had told him that I wanted to get a tattoo, that I knew what I wanted, but I was still hesitant to get a tattoo. I was scared of the pain, and the permanence. I knew that I wanted a tattoo of the tape dispenser. I knew that I wanted to see a pure concept of unconditional love that I know felt, every day. I decided I wanted my tattoo on my forearm, so I could look down and see it whenever I needed to. My boyfriend was scared I would get sick of seeing it every day, but I assured him that not only will I not get sick of looking at it every day, but I will show it off proudly every day. To help me work up the nerve to get the tattoo, my boyfriend decided to personalize the piece even more by designing my tattoo himself. I went to walk-in tattoo parlor in my neighborhood with my boyfriend. I showed them my idea, walked upstairs and my tattoo was completed 45 minutes later. The tattoo artist said he just "had to ask" why I was getting a tattoo of a simple tape dispenser and we showed him a printed version of the comic. He laughed and said "I love it." My boyfriend is designing his new snail tattoo, and he will walk into the same shop and get his half of the comic tattooed on his body somewhere that he can see every day.

True love is unconditional. And I was able to meet a man that saw me for who I was, flaws and all. And he still loves me for the tape dispenser that I truly am.