satire

Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.

The Party Game
A party in a highrise apartment was suddenly interrupted when a ravishingly beautiful woman in her early thirties fumbled in her purse , screamed and announced that her Gold cigarette case was missing.
By Partho Choudhury5 years ago in Humans
Dear Self,
Writing. The only way to write is to do it, yet you fall short on that end of the stick. I’ve noticed you haven’t been as passionate about the writing you’ve been forcing yourself to put together. You force feed writing prompts instead of taking your time to knead the dough that is your brain. I can tell you haven’t given much thought or at least given yourself the chance to brainstorm more than twice in the same week. Your eyes go blank as your intense stare treads off into the empty space in front of you. Sometimes if I catch you in a moment of silence, I can hear your breathing slow as you swipe through the internal voices bombarding your brain; you once compared your thoughts to blind Tinder dates that have absolutely no intention of starting the night off right.
By Elena5 years ago in Humans
Days Of The Week
Monday If Monday were a person it would be the worst person. It would be that one alcoholic drink that always reminds you of the one night you wish had never happened. It’s that one customer who always puts a downer on your entire day and then tells you they are never coming back only to be there the same time the next day.
By collette_235 years ago in Humans
Fire Work Daydream
“Firework Daydreams” By Magnus Selden
By Magnus Selden5 years ago in Humans
How to Talk to a Trans Person
Hey there! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You look so different now! What happened to you? You used to look so good! Well, you still look good, but before…
By Micah James5 years ago in Humans
Forgiveness
Dear Valued Customer, Here at Humanity, we would like to extend an updated regulatory report on one of our most popular products. Data shows that the frequency and dosage had been over prescribed. New science has shown that, although effective in many situations, it’s not the Humira of relationships we had hoped.
By A.D. Palone5 years ago in Humans
Silent Letters
Silent letters make me want to rip my hair out and plunge my eyes into a bucket of acid. It’s really only the unnecessary ones that are detrimental to my health. It's stupid, but my biggest pet peeve are those ludicrous silent letters. Best example: pterodactyl. Why is that p there? Who decided that it needed a p? As far as I know, it does nothing. If letters were people, that p would be your friends' friends' cousins' daughters' pet fish. Useless to you and everyone involved. I sob at night trying to discover the profound meaning of silent letters. To which I can never find the answer. After a trek through the depths of my psyche, all that remains is emotional turmoil. It’s like trying to wrap your head around the idea of infinite space. It keeps you up at night.
By Mo5 years ago in Humans
I'm your taxi
I start my day with a small work out, about 30 minutes. Have coffee, shower, then get dress.... Usually, but to day is a little more special. Today I have the pleasure of being a host for a close friend of mine, it's his birthday and of course I volunteered to be his driver. It made sense, since we would have been hanging out together anyway. Actually, I was just returning a favor. He was the driver for my birthday simple as that, you might be thinking "now why would you want a driver just for your birthday?" And the answer is easy, so you can party as much as you want and not have to worry about how you getting home or how you ended up in someone else's house, and yes that has happened. I had loads to do this day, I still had to be to work and some make it to the bank. I'm looking to start my own business and my friend Jason came up with the ideal an great ideal for us to be Uber drivers.
By Ephirium Crimley5 years ago in Humans
The Cycle of Identity (We Must Embrace)
I still can recall clearly all the corrections that I have been receiving from my parents and the society. First, it’s about to stop crying. It happened when I was 4. I fell in the bathroom and it was hurt (and not really hurt), I instinctively and automatically cried running to my mom because it was I have been trained during my lifetime as a baby. The responses that I received was different in which she said “Stop being a crybaby. You’ve grown up”. I was shocked and by that time I instantly leveled up into a kid phase of life. Parents are superior, the ultimate teacher, and one-who-knows-it-all commander that direct and guide us how to behave well. That tragedy is vivid and accompanies me everyday wherever I injured by something both mentally and physically. I was taught to be strong and despise myself whenever I cry. It’s one of my first lesson of being human.
By Yulia Ratnasari5 years ago in Humans
High School Diaries: Chapter 3
Chapter 3: Matt As I walked through the gym doors, I saw the cute new girl from earlier today. The color of her hair reminded me of a peach, almost like a pinkish color, but it was more like just a light red. Haha, I’m not very good at english or anything, so I’m not very good at describing people in a good way. Her eyes were also really, really pretty. I couldn’t really tell if they were blue or green but it doesn’t matter. To be honest, I kind of wanted to talk to her more, but knowing that it's gym class, we’re probably going to do an activity and I’m willing to be that Anna (Was that her name? I don’t really remember.) wasn’t good at sports at all.
By Abygael Silvers5 years ago in Humans
Was Mother Teresa Toxic?
If I put on a blue collared shirt with a badge on my chest and pistol on my waist, does that make me a cop? If I put on a Latrell Sprewell jersey and dribble a basketball, does that make me an NBA player? No, it makes me someone who likes to play dress-up. Does Mother Teresa putting on a white robe and a baggy hood make her a saint? Let's find out.
By Michael Martinek5 years ago in Humans
An Open Relationship With My Bodega Man
Am I dating my bodega man? He definitely knows more about me than anyone I've recently dated in the last couple of years. Not to say I'm not already an open book anyway, but we've seemed to break through the bodega exchange barrier.
By Heather Whiteside5 years ago in Humans