Mental Meeting

Hey, team! Circle up; it’s almost sequel time, so we need to have a little meeting about where you all are and what I need from you. I’ve got my current A-squad, you’re all doing amazing! I know it’s bizarre to suddenly be thrown from the abstract to the real world; but, you’ve handled it with grace for the most part. B-squad, I know you’re chomping at the bit to get out on the field! I need a little more patience from you. There’s a lot of set-up and exposition to sort out, and we don’t want to fumble on that. If it comes across as clunky, we’ll lose the audience we’ve started to build! You don’t want to perform to rows of empty seats, do you?

Okay. Just sit tight and let A-squad sort everything out. You’ll be up soon, I promise.

C-squad…we’ll see. Your inclusion was conditional from the start. Don’t complain! You knew you might not get to be showcased this season! If B-squad kills it out there, you’ll get your shot! Stay warmed-up, stay stretched. I want full essays on how your backstories will translate from fantasy to modern day, on my desk by next Monday! No extensions! Any missing essays will result in you being left out of the next wave of adaptations.

Anyone who needs an individual meeting, I’ll be in my office. Knock on my door when you’re ready.

———

Yeah, okay! Come in!

Hey, Scarla. I know, I thought you’d be on A-squad, too. I wasn’t counting on your cousins doing so well! We agree it wouldn’t be fair to knock Ares and Maura down to B-squad at this point, right? Their film is already complete! Their narrative is running smoothly! We can’t interrupt that; not without jarring the audience and making the story disjointed. For now, you’ll have to stay in B-squad. Next season, I’ll fast-track your promotion to A-squad. You’ll get top billing and you’ll have your own poster. I’ll even consider giving you a voiceover for your trailer.

Yes, unfortunately, that does mean your father will have to wait a little longer for his origin story to hit the public eye. Tell Danny I apologize; however, he should understand that you can’t kick off a franchise by starting with subject matter that disturbing. It doesn’t sell. We’d get one-time watchers, that’s it.

Don’t—Girl with the Dragon Tattoo doesn’t count! Those movies already had fans of the books to count on!

I understand why you’re upset. You were my first original character! You probably should be A-squad! I remember when I used to use you to feel less lonely on the playground. You were my companion, my best friend! Despite what I put you through, and I don apologize for how often you were captured, you were always there for me! That loyalty won’t go unrewarded. If it wasn’t so expensive to film everything we’d need for your story, you would have been the main character in Periculum. You’re just too…blockbuster. Your place isn’t in a twelve-minute film. Wait for the day I can make a ninety-minute feature. You’ll be front and center! Sound good?

Great! Send in whomever is next.

Hm? Oh. No, not Damien. He can wait. Send Maura in, please.

———

Alright! Miss Maura. Where would you like to start?

Okay. Okay.

Okay, I hear you saying that you don’t like how many times I imply that you’re an emotionless ice queen. That’s a valid complaint. I will do better on that front.

I should tell you though, there is at least one more scene in which someone calls you out for being so stoic and uncaring. Just one! After that, you’ll get to show your softer side!

I know you care about Ares. I know how much it bothers you that most of his storylines involve him in some sort of peril. Look at it this way, if I’d stuck with your original characterization, you’d be the damsel in distress! Do you think that’s better?

Would you rather be Ripley from Alien or Princess Peach?

Ash from Evil Dead. Fair enough. We can make that happen! You want to be funnier?

Oh. No. No, I’m not cutting off your arm so you can replace it with a chainsaw. That’s…absolutely not.

What do you think of the script for Captis so far? Do you feel that you have enough to do? I wrote in a fight scene between you and Damien, and you win by a landslide. I decided not to have you kill him because we need him for future storylines. You’re the best fighter on the A-squad, so he won’t walk away unscathed. He’ll simply…walk away.

Limp away, rather. He’ll be back.

I need you at your best for what’s to come. Your story will only get more dramatic from here. I want you in the gym, training your heart out! I’m talking fleshed-out motivations, I’m talking complex range of emotion, and I need you to nail what the relationship is with your biological parents. Do the three of you get along? How much tension is there? Do you call your biological father “Dad,” or do you call him by his first name?

Your character-type tends to be pretty one-dimensional, Maura. We’re trying to avoid that. You’re not just muscles, one-liners, and rage. You’re a unique individual. Whatever you need me to do in order to foster that, let me know.

Fantastic. I’m glad we had this talk. Who’s waiting out there?

Don’t send Damien in, yet. He’s going last.

Send in Ares. He and I need to have a one-on-one.

———

Hi! How are you?

How’s the burn?

You’ll thank me for that later. Side characters love a main with a distinct feature.

They do! Why do you think so many anime protagonists have colorful hair or strange eyes?

Why couldn’t you just have those things?

Ares, you’re cute as a button, but you’re no anime protagonist.

What I wanted to talk about with you was which steps we’ll be taking to move your character forward. I want you to grow over this season and become your best self. You know what all your development is leading to, right?

The Nautilus, exactly. Do you think you’d survive it as you are? Neither do I. You’re getting there, though!

You’ll come out of Captis with the burn, that’s staying, and your next assignment will be to decide what you do while you’re with Tay and Maura during your recovery. I’m thinking you meet and befriend Jael. She’ll be fresh out of Raphael’s cult, so she’ll need your support. You two can wreak havoc together, you can show off just how brave…and at times, impulsive…you can be; and we can fit in flashbacks to your childhood. That’ll be a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your skillset. Did you still want to be a computer specialist, or were you looking to focus on chemistry?

Both? We can do both! You want to be well-rounded. I respect that!

No, it doesn’t have to be months. It can’t be too short a span of time, either. You’ll need time to learn who you are outside of a group or a relationship. It’s not enough to be compelling in those contexts! You need to be compelling in your own right! I’ve fallen into that trap before; making a character only interesting to watch when they’re one element to a whole and then forgetting to give them a personality. I’m not doing that again!

Plus, you were so cool in your original form! You lived in a cave, you were multi-lingual, you even had a girlfriend!

Oh! Yeah, you were straight. You were the straightest.

I’m glad that changed, too. You were never really happy.

I don’t know if I ever told you this, but you’re as much a representation of me as Scarla is. She came about in a time when I wasn’t sure what my identity would be. I was in a period of questioning; was I straight? Was I cisgendered? I believed I didn’t have a choice when it came to my gender. Scarla taught me how to be the best version of my tiny, shy, confused child self.

You (the “you” you are now), were a product of me coming to terms with my truth. I realized that I didn’t have to stay stuck in an identity I’d never been comfortable with. Through writing for you, I started to get comfortable with the reality that I was seeing myself in you: not the token girl in every adventure, the man who uses his head and his heart before using a weapon. Thanks for being my companion during that turbulent time in my life. You still help me every day; showing me that I can find happiness outside of the expected norms I grew up with.

Heavy stuff over! What do you think of becoming multi-lingual again? We could cut it down to you having a basic grasp on conversational Russian. You want to revisit that later? Fine. I’ll get a second opinion in the meantime. You’re smart enough! You’re a quick learner! I don’t see why Scorpius wouldn’t have taught you a second language.

Why Russian? Why not?! I speak Russian! It’s a beautiful language!

Think it over and get back to me. Whatever you decide, we’ll find you a skill that’s just yours. You will have a hobby! Danny has wood carving, Oliver will have his music. You need a thing. If you want botany, chemistry, and computer expertise, have at them! Find a passion, and stick with it.

Sounds good. Have a great day! Take care of the burn!

Alex is next! Tell Damien I’ll know if he tries to switch places with his brother! I created them! I can tell them apart!

———

No! Damien, I know it’s you! Go out in the hallway and wait your turn!

Don’t you turn on that charm with me! I can write you out of existence! I don’t need four antagonists! I chose to develop you!

Little creep…

———

Hello, Alex!

No need to apologize for that little dust-up. I know you can’t control Damien, no matter how hard you try to rein him in. Don’t let him distract you from your path. You’re doing so well lately! You’ve been helpful, quiet, and you haven’t tried to jump ahead in the narrative. I appreciate your cooperation.

It can’t be easy to keep a level head when you know you’re going to die.

We don’t have to talk about that, today. We can focus on your next few months. What are your plans, outside of mending things with Ares?

You want the real American dream, huh? You can’t have that in its purest form. Where can we make compromises? The white picket fence is out. How about a heavy door with a lock?

I understand you’ve felt burdened by the idea of legacy. While I can’t make any concrete promises, I can tell you that you’ll be remembered fondly. Your time in the narrative will be short and impactful. Your death, while tragic, will help the other characters evolve and improve. You’ll leave some seriously difficult shoes to fill.

Oh, before you go: you were right about Raphael. Scarla has it handled now, but you were right. Looks like those killer instincts haven’t dulled as much as you feared they would, eh? You may think you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Nevertheless, you know bad news when you see it. Good for you!

Yes, I suppose it’s time for me to talk to Damien. Send him in.

———

Don’t look at me like that.

Seriously, knock it off.

Let’s get this out of the way first, you’re not dead yet! I still need you for a few more storylines, and then you’re gone! While I’m waiting for the moment I can finally scrub you out of Periculum’s narrative, I’ve instructed Maura to take every opportunity to incapacitate you whenever you pop up! You may be an absolute blast to write for, and yes you are important at this moment!

Doesn’t matter! I wrote you in order to get a handle on the dark side in me! Don’t act all smug like you have a higher purpose!

Okay, Damien, let’s get to what I really want to say to you. You’re loathsome, arrogant, violent, self-centered, and cruel. You had very little value to the world, aside from giving the protagonists someone to fight against, and you regularly torment Ares…just because. Is it sibling rivalry? Jealousy?

No? You just like breaking beautiful things. Got it.

I suppose…I should be thanking you.

In developing your character, I’ve found an outlet for the ash cloud of negativity that festers in my mind. You are the home for my frustrations and my anger. You take every horrible thought I’ve had and you whisk them away to your world of fiction in a way that Scorpius, Raphael, and even your great-uncle couldn’t do. I’m not thrilled that it took bringing you into existence for me to get a handle on myself; however, I can’t deny your effectiveness as a therapeutic tool.

That’s right, I called you a tool!

I don’t know what dark crevasse you crawled out of, and I’d like to be able to shove you back in there. You used to be a faceless, nameless goon in my drawings! I think at one point, you were even bald. I’ve had countless characters get lost or forgotten over the years, yet you stuck around like a stain on a white wall!

Maybe I need you more than I care to admit. Maybe that’s why I can’t let you go.

Maybe that’s exactly why I will have to let you go, one day. If I want the others to move on and find happiness, I need to give myself permission to do the same thing. I can’t do that if I’m stuck with you forever!

Yes. You’re going to die, like Alex. No resurrections; you’ll simply fade from Periculum to a place where you’ll never be able to bother me or the other characters again. Not today, not tomorrow or next week, or even next month.

Soon.

Now get out of my mental office. I have a sequel film to work on.