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Humans featured post, a Humans Media favorite.
BE CONFIDENT
Confidence can be an elusive entity. Allowing others to dictate our self-worth is a common pitfall, but in reality, it should solely depend on our own perception. The encouraging truth is that you are the one in control, steering the locomotive of self-assurance, and it's poised to embark on a remarkable journey from this very moment.How can one develop confidence in a new job without prior experience in that field? How can someone feel assured in social situations if they have never experienced acceptance before? Is it possible to be confident in a relationship when past relationships have been unsuccessful?At first glance, confidence may seem like an elusive trait that only favors those who already possess it, leaving others feeling inadequate. When you haven't experienced much social acceptance and lack confidence in unfamiliar social settings, it's natural to worry about being perceived as clingy or strange, hindering acceptance from others.Similarly, in relationships, a lack of confidence in intimacy can lead to difficult breakups, uncomfortable phone calls, and even late-night trips to the store for comfort food.Moreover, when it comes to work, it can be challenging to feel confident without prior relevant experience, especially since most jobs require such experience as a prerequisite.If you've consistently experienced failure in life, how can you possibly anticipate becoming a victor? And if you lack the expectation of being a winner, your behavior will reflect that of a loser. Consequently, the cycle of dissatisfaction persists. This predicament can be described as the confidence conundrum. In order to attain happiness, love, or success, one must initially possess confidence. However, to be confident, one requires the foundation of happiness, love, or success. Therefore, it appears that you find yourself trapped in one of two loops: either you are already within a positive and confident cycle, as depicted here. Perhaps you find yourself trapped in a repetitive cycle of failure, resembling something like this. And if you find yourself trapped in the cycle of losing, it can feel nearly impossible to break free.It's akin to a dog endlessly chasing its own tail or Domino's ordering its own pizza. You may spend considerable time scrutinizing every detail, attempting to mentally unravel it all. Yet, just like your waning confidence, you'll likely find yourself right back where you started. But perhaps we've been approaching this issue incorrectly all along. Maybe the enigma of confidence isn't truly an enigma. If we pay careful attention, we can glean valuable insights about confidence simply by observing others. So before you hastily proceed to order that pizza, let's dissect this situation:2 OF 3 THINKING CONFIDENT1. Acknowledge your talents and positive qualities and record them in writing. Even when you're feeling low, take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate your areas of excellence. By focusing on your strengths, you can divert your attention from perceived flaws and enhance your self-worth. Consider your positive attributes in terms of appearance, friendships, talents, and, above all, personality. - Recall the compliments you've received from others. What have people said about you that you may not have noticed or acknowledged? Perhaps someone mentioned your infectious smile or your ability to remain composed in stressful situations. - Reminisce about past accomplishments. This can include both achievements recognized by others, such as being at the top of your class, and personal triumphs that only you know about, like performing a quiet act of service to make someone's life easier. Recognize the greatness in these accomplishments. You've got what it takes!Contemplate the qualities you strive to cultivate. - No one is perfect, but if you actively pursue being an honorable and good-hearted person, give yourself credit for your efforts. The mere fact that you aspire to better yourself shows that you are humble and compassionate, and these are positive attributes.Now, jot down everything that comes to mind and keep it as a reference for moments when you're feeling down. Add to the list as you remember more things that you can take pride in.2. Consider the barriers that hinder your self-assurance. Grab a sheet of paper and jot down all the factors you believe are impeding your path to confidence, such as underwhelming grades, introversion, a limited social circle, and so forth. Now, reflect on their validity and logic. Are these genuine limitations or merely assumptions I've made? The answers, respectively, are "no" and "yes." How can it possibly make sense that a single factor determines your self-worth? It simply doesn't! - Let's illustrate this with an example: Suppose you didn't perform well on your recent math test, and as a consequence, you lack confidence for the next one. However, consider this: If you were to study diligently, seek assistance from your teacher, and adequately prepare, wouldn't you fare better? The answer is undoubtedly "yes." That incident was merely an isolated event and does not define your capabilities. You possess absolutely no legitimate grounds for lacking confidence.3. Keep in mind that confidence struggles are common to everyone. While some individuals excel at concealing it, nearly every person has experienced a lack of self-confidence at some point in their lives. You are not alone in this! Moreover, even those who exude confidence may have areas where they lack it. Confidence is seldom all-encompassing. - Here's an interesting fact: The majority of people are preoccupied with how they themselves appear, rather than constantly judging you. Have you ever noticed how individuals are drawn to even the slightest reflective surfaces, engaging in self-reflection? Around 99% of people are inwardly focused. Take a deep breath and find solace in the realization that you don't have to strive for perfection all the time. - Avoid comparing yourself to others. Life is not a constant competition, and adopting such a mindset will drain your energy. You don't have to be the smartest, most attractive, or most popular person in order to find happiness. If you possess a strong competitive drive that you can't completely disregard, try redirecting it towards self-improvement. Challenge yourself and strive to continually progress.4. View confidence as an ongoing process rather than a singular achievement. It's not a finish line you reach once, and the journey won't always be linear. There will be days when it feels like you're starting over from scratch. Take a moment to breathe deeply, recall the self-confidence obstacles you've already overcome, and commit to moving forward. Even during the most challenging times, it's important to acknowledge and appreciate yourself, even if you haven't accomplished anything tangible. - Often, you won't realize you possess confidence until it's already ingrained within you. Did you ever have a specific moment when you suddenly realized you were intelligent, humorous, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. Therefore, if you don't observe immediate changes, understand that it may be because you're too close to the situation. It's like not being able to see the forest for the trees. You grasp the concept.5. Remember, you came into this world with it. No, it's not Maybelline. When you emerged from your mother's embrace, you were unconcerned with who heard your cries or the tender softness of your head. You simply existed. It was society that pointed an accusatory finger at you, instilling the notion that you must conform. It was learned. But you know what they say about acquired knowledge? It can be unlearned. - Reconnect with that innate confidence that accompanied your birth. It still resides within you, albeit concealed beneath layers of exposure to accolades, threats, and perceived judgments. Remove everyone else from the equation. They hold no significance. They are unrelated to you. The essence of "you" is inherently good, independent of any external evaluation.6. Shift your focus away from your thoughts and step out of the confinement of your own mind. External circumstances hold no sway over your lack of confidence, which means you must break free from the shackles of overthinking. Whenever you find yourself engaged in internal conversations, simply halt them. Embrace the whirlwind of the world around you and become one with its vibrant motion. Remember, the only existence that truly matters is this very moment. Isn't it enticing to actively participate in it? - Consider this: a vast realm exists beyond the boundaries of your mind, assuming that reality presents itself as it appears. When you constantly dwell on your emotions or physical appearance, you detach yourself from the present instant. Instead, practice relinquishing thoughts of the past and future. Direct your attention towards what lies directly ahead, for there is bound to be something captivating about it.
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