dating
All about dating. First dates, three years into a relationship, Tinder, and more.
Who Picks Up The Bill On The First Date?
So you went out with him after all! Good on ya'. You had a great time, a nice meal, and a lot of "getting to know one another." You order dessert, and you find out he likes chocolate over strawberry. Great. The waiter comes over to your table and leaves a small black tray with a daunting piece of paper on top, and a smile before leaving you to it. Suddenly, only a single question remains: who pays the bill? The man, the woman, or both? Maybe once you’ve been dating for a while, you could agree on what works for you as a couple, but in the early, nerve-racking days, it can be tough to figure out when you've only got mere seconds to decide. Is there a dating formula to determine the right answer here, or some dating etiquette book to check out? A 2015 Sage Journal article breaks this down for us a little bit: over 17,000 heterosexual, unmarried men and women were asked to determine who pays on the first date. Despite the fact that 74 percent of the men and 83 percent of the women report that both members of the couple should contribute to dating expenses after dating for six months, 76 percent of men said they feel guilty when accepting women’s money on the first date. 39 percent of women wished men would reject their offers to pay while 44 percent of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay. Yet even in today's day and age, there still doesn't seem like a solid, right-or-wrong answer to this question, but more so a few general guidelines that are widely accepted when it comes to our dating etiquette.Much of the data in the Sage Journal article states that there is a clear illustration of how people might be resisting or conforming to traditional gender norms. Historically, "dating" was related to the male’s displaying benevolent sexism, dominance, and the ability to fulfill the breadwinner's role during courtship, thus the traditional ideal that the man should pay for the first date and, ideally, for a few more into the relationship. Realistically, it does seem to be the courteous thing to do and suggests a sense of responsibility, stability in his own finances, and the level of enjoyment of his date’s company. Farnoosh Torabi, a female writer for time.com's Money column said in a post from 2014 that, "If I ever insisted on paying my half at the end of a first date when you offered to treat, it may have been because I never wanted to see you again. My persistence to pay was—at best—code for, 'Let’s just be friends'." That being said, there certainly is no reason why a woman shouldn’t offer to pay for a drink before or after dinner or make some other small gesture to contribute towards the date. The key to who pays on the first date is simple: it is a test to showcase how the man handles himself and not how the dollars and cents are divided. Whether the man or woman instigated the date, the man should be prepared to pay first. Can't afford a nice dinner? Try a coffee date, because it shouldn't take an expensive meal to get to know if you can connect with someone. If the woman insists on paying or putting something of her own towards the bill, accepting it with grace instead of immediately allowing them to pay or rejecting them outright will score you more points in the long run—if there is still a chance, that is. Bernardo Mendez of Your Great Life TV states: “If during the course of the first date you decide that you absolutely don’t want to see this guy again, insisting on paying for your half can help you signal more clearly that you’re not open to it.”The trick to it is not to make the cheque scenario awkward when it arrives to your table. An impressive way for a man to handle the bill is to discreetly settle it on his way to the men's room in order to avoid having any conversations about it. Trust me, you'll be MVP of the night with this move, fellas. The important take away from this is to know that paying for a date is more about the person than it is about the money, whether it is the first date, the second date, or the one-year anniversary! Paying for things generally gets easier as the relationship deepens and evolves so it is best to put your focus on the person in front of you rather than in the weight of your wallet. The chivalry at the beginning of a relationship is important, so prioritize this during the first few weeks of dating someone new.
By Delilah Jayde8 years ago in Humans
The Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating
Most people want to have a meaningful relationship with someone, however, "dating" can be a miserable task. First of all, you have to meet someone, then you have to muster up the courage to ask that someone out on a date. If the answer is affirmative, then you get a second helping of worries to deal with as you work to impress this person you want to get to know. If the answer is negative, you will eventually try it all over again with someone else, but you will never quite recover from the crippling pain of rejection.
By Kathryn C. 8 years ago in Humans
Check Out that Dad Bod!
As a woman, and more importantly as a mom, I prefer a man with the newly adored “Dad-Bod.” I feel like now a days a lot of moms do and I’m sure it's baffling the hell out of most of the trim and muscular men. Their moment is fading. All their hard work is being outshined by men who have never even stepped foot in a gym and who’s golden brown farmer's tan comes from working in the sun instead of tanning 3 times a week. Muscular men work hard to keep up their physique and they are probably feeling very defeated right about now. I hope they don’t get too down about it though. There are still a lot of woman who like to be tossed around in the throes of passion by a big hunky set of biceps. I'm just not one of them and it seems to be a growing trend. Here’s why (at least in my opinion).
By Angel Perez8 years ago in Humans
Instant Gratification
Instant gratification: that is the world we live in now. It’s in every part of our lives. We want everything now and we don't want to work for it. Especial Millennials, they are the absolute worst with this. Take dating for example. Tinder, Bumble, shit cell phones in general have all helped in creating this instant gratification lifestyle we now live in. Personally, I don't care to meet another human that way. Why the hell would I waste my time talking to a person on a machine when I can meet them at the bar and have an actually conversation with them face to face? It’s these things that are changing courting to dating and dating to hook ups. For me I'm in a cycle of friends with benefits because I am afraid of commitment, that is my truth. At least I'm honest about it, can you say the same?
By Dani cipolla8 years ago in Humans
A Night of Happiness
So before I start the actual story, I'll rewind back a week to when I got the invite for the event. It was a lazy Sunday and a typical boring one, as well. I was laying down and for once my phone had rung. Upon reading it, I see the name of a beautiful girl. Keep in mind I've grown quite fond of this girl and to see her name appear any time on my phone is truly a blessing. So she invites me to an event called the River of Lights (It's a light show downtown of where I live). With a sudden jolt of energy I reply rather quickly saying that I'd love to go with her to see these lights. Going back to the Friday of the event, it's also James Douglas Morrison's birthday that day (December 8th). I begin to get ready rather early being insecure about my attire for that evening, simply wanting to impress her to the fullest, and about six o'clock she comes to get me (I don't know how to drive, unfortunately). I walk outside to find her car not near my house, but rather down the street. I laughed a little at this. So I go down the street with hesitation, unsure if that is her car, but as I look into the car, I see her for the first time in person. I open the car door to the passenger seat and see her on her phone. She quickly looks up and greets me with a hello and I nervously say it back. In my mind, a million things begin to plot, for instance: how beautiful she looked and how gentle her voice was. We begin talking and I play music for some background noise. We share a common interest for a lot of music, so it was rather easy picking music that she liked. Knowing that it is James Douglas Morrison's birthday, I choose to play The Doors. So we talk a little bit about the 60s and how great the music is as well as the clothing. Shortly after a few giggles and more conversation over The Doors, we finally arrive to the River of Lights. We come to find that there's nowhere near to park so we end up going down this deserted street near a McDonald's and an abandoned gas station with homeless all along the fence of it.
By Wyatt Reeves Salcido8 years ago in Humans
How to Treat Your Number One to Make Her Feel Like Your Number One
1. Tell her three simple phrases. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are special. Sometimes you are left to send important little messages via text. Call them little love messages. Tell her "be safe," "I love you," and "hey babe I was just thinking of you, so I thought I’d say hi" and other such messages that you believe will put a smile on the face of your (put your nickname for her here). However, don’t underestimate the importance of three simple phrases. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are special.
By josh napper8 years ago in Humans
You're Dating Damaged Goods
I wish what is written below could be stamped to my forehead for every guy to read, so that they can run 100 miles in the opposite direction. This is for the guy I turned down coffee with last year. This is my real explanation, which you will never read or know about. This is how every boy has wound up when they become close to me, and this is not how I want things with you. I'm sorry.
By Elle White 8 years ago in Humans
Lovers No More (Ch. 7)
I had to set out and do something different this year. I remember signing up with various fraternities in the hope of being a fraternity brother one day. I eventually became a part of Zeta Beta Tau. I wasn’t easy, but I made it. I became friendly, at the time, with the founding father of the chapter. His name was Joel. A few weeks after assuring me that I was indeed a part of the fraternity, we decided to go out and celebrate. Boy, did we celebrate. He invited me to a fraternity party at Rutgers one Saturday night. Ironically, I took a CK girl with me. Her name was Connie.
By Maurice Bernier8 years ago in Humans
Signs Your Partner Is Controlling
Love is the most rewarding feeling in the world, but sometimes you find yourself in a relationship that just isn't right. Now I was in a relationship with a man for three-and-a-half years and let's just say it wasn't rainbows and sunshine, not even close. I used to always read articles about controlling relationships, only to find out that I was in one. Now, one of my biggest pet peeves was when people would tell me to "just leave," like it's easy—it's not. In fact, it's much harder. I'm going to just share my experiences with you so you can put two-and-two together. But remember, every relationship is different. If you notice any of these happening in your love life, make sure to evolute your situation to see if you need to run for the hills, or just fix your problems.
By Short Storm .8 years ago in Humans
