breakups

When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.

Find Me in Others
In the beginning, there's always an overwhelming sense of happiness and bliss. You meet via online or in person, and the heart always thumps while the palms sweat in a nervous gesture of a half-ass hug. Gripping the shirt on their back slightly to test the motion of the hug, how strong they grasp you in return as if to not let you go in that moment. That first moment. You had talked for a while with them before this meeting. Hesitant to meet in person, worried that this wasn't going to be the same off-screen. It ends up being better and you talk for much longer than anticipated. But it doesn't faze either as the breakfast menu turns to lunch and the cup sitting in front of you two has been filled one, two, three times. And you down it each time. This is fun, you haven't had this much fun with one person in a long time. The conversation changes and flows, talking about anything and everything. Finding so many things in common; so many things to agree on and few to disagree. The diner doesn't kick you two out but you two leave anyway to explore the area. It's a grand time. Palms still sweating as your hands find each other. Lips touching just slightly as you wave goodbye. Recognize this? A first date. Once that turns into multiple, and each time just gets better and better. Both people getting more comfortable sharing secrets, valuable time and energy. You see hope, after so many failed attempts at love. However, just like all the other times, this one falls through as well. And it hurts so much more each time. Each person that leaves, flicks off the feelings like a light switch that leaves you hanging and wondering; what went wrong? What happened for things to change so quickly when just a week before, things were perfect? Weeks after, you're fighting with yourself. Do you start all over again? Take some time to yourself? You want to but, seeing all the couples walking about hand-in-hand you realize that you desire that as well... what are you doing wrong? You're crying in your room one day, strutting down the sidewalk the next. Believing yourself to be too good for anyone, yet desperately wishing someone would notice your capability for something more. While you try and forget the past, you realize you can't hate the man. There were reasons, ones you don't want to believe, but they are there. And you can't forget him. You spend hours looking again, then ashamed of yourself. Focus on you, focus on your needs and hobbies and health and passions. But it seems as if social media is mocking with these posts and photos of perfect couples with undeniably perfect goals and interactions and vacations. All starting you in the face with a smug grin; reminding you of what you lost and don't have. As the weeks go by, you stop crying softly before you go to sleep. You find yourself paying less attention to couples walking hand in hand along the street. You're not ashamed to ask for a table for one at your favorite restaurant while adorning the outfit purchased the day before with the full intention of self-pampering. As the weeks pass, you forget about that desire to be with a partner, to share life with someone; only glancing at online dating apps only to become bored after 5 minutes. Your confidence grows as you browse, knowing only what is best for you. But the desire to look for him in every other guy, every other person, will not fade, although you're sure that he will not find you in anyone else.
By Nicole Fenn7 years ago in Humans
After the Break-Up
You know, I sit here everyday and go through about 20 emotional changes through out that day. I just recently got out of a three year relationship and the way I was left feeling... the hurt that came with the break-up... Honestly, it brought me to my knees. And at the time, I was very ashamed of myself for letting someone have that power to really hurt me. But in truth, that person had been hurting me for such a long time. Now there were times when I fucked up and I hurt her. I was wrong for those times. But in that span, she'd betrayed me and really hurt my feelings. I just needed someone else to turn to. Someone I could trust. it is no excuse for my actions, but that is why I did it. At the end of everything, I still stayed. I CHOSE to stay because some part of me still held love for the person I was with. I really had no idea how. We would fight so much and eventually the fights turned physical, and violent. I'd never thought that when we'd started that we'd end up there, but we did.
By Bri Price7 years ago in Humans
How to Get Over a Break Up... Fast
Many people were truly shocked at how well I handled a break up of mine earlier this year. Over the last few months, friends of mine have been in similar situations and turned to me for advice. That is why I have decided to write this piece.
By Carla Clark7 years ago in Humans
My Breakup Thoughts
I think I would like to start this story out by saying I’ve hit a low. One of the lowest points I’ve ever been at. I can’t believe that I am here right now. It’s all because of him. I let one person who didn’t deserve to define me, my self-worth, or my happiness define it all. I let him in and now I can’t let him go. I feared the day a man would come around and break down the barriers I’ve had up for so long. I told myself the day would never come. Then he did. Meeting him was the worst thing that could’ve happened to me even though I believed it was the best. For a year I’ve been telling myself it was the best thing. I’ve been ignoring his flaws and I’ve been turning my back to him whilst he kicked me down. Not seeing the damage he did to me but also not caring for I loved him more than anything. There’s a very strange thing about knowing something is wrong but choosing to immerse yourself in lies that everything is great. I cannot put a word to it but believe me it is much deserving of its own word. He lied to me so much. He lied more than I think I can comprehend. He allowed others to dictate how our relationship, a secret bond between TWO people, would play out. All of our problems were in regards to those he let in to interfere. I feel sick even talking about how stupid I was. I have cried every day since he’s left. He’s left this hole in me that can only be filled by his presence despite all the stupidity and all the times he’s fucked me over. I still love him. I still would do anything for him. Nothing has changed except the fact that I’m looking him in the eye while he kicks me down and I’m accepting it.
By Kat Nix7 years ago in Humans
Amor Quod Poenitet
I don’t know why I’m here. Or maybe I do. I’m upset, and I shouldn’t be, so I have to write all of this away from the eyes of the people who can’t know I’m aggravated. Yet again, I was hoodwinked and blind to what was in front of me because I thought someone was cute. More than anything, he was convenient. I don’t like relationships, nor was I looking for one, especially with a 15-year-old boy that lives in the south. Considering how adamantly he tried to get me to date him, I eventually caved. "Why not? What’s the harm?" So I said yes, and he was sweet and it was so easy for me to think I made the right decision. Long story short, the relationship was more than one sided as it progressed and it just ended up with me crying more than me smiling. He cut it off, which I was glad for, because I just didn’t care. It was nice to say I had a boyfriend, for PR, I guess, even if it was just like having the ghost of one there. After he cut it off, I tried to be friends. I always try to be friends if we didn’t part terribly, and I regretted that, too. He had a history of racial slurs which I tolerated because I was simply numb to it, due to “meme culture” I suppose. He crossed a line when he commented the “n” word with a hard r under a post my blood mother and family could see. He didn’t understand that I didn’t want someone calling me a n*gger in front of my mother, or, at this point, at all. We argued briefly, but in the long run I dropped an ultimatum that he (for some reason) agreed to. Like he ever cared about being on good terms with me.
By Ollie7 years ago in Humans
It Was Never About... Me?
Do you remember the one feeling of being loved so much your heart would calm down? Or actually feeling so happy that you can't contain your smile? She made me feel that way. I remember expressing every single emotion I had because she made me feel safe. I could be myself. I didn't understand what being that happy could be. I always despised people who were so happy and I always questioned myself when would I meet someone who could make me feel that way.
By R0yalcee7 years ago in Humans
To the Boy I Once Loved
To the boy I once loved, I still miss you. I still miss holding you every time I would pick you up from work. I miss your laugh that was unique but loud. I miss your good morning text and then immediately seeing you at school after I received it. I miss staying up with you on FaceTime until we both passed out and snored, or I would screenshot you sleeping because you always fell asleep with your mouth open. I miss you holding me when I was having a rough time. I miss calling you to cry about things and you immediately saying you’re on the way over to my house. I miss you coming to my house drunk dancing to Mexican music and then laying on the ground while my dog humped your legs and you screaming at him. I miss your warmth. I miss your personality. I miss everything about you.
By Kirsten Sontag7 years ago in Humans
Life After Upheaval
Sometimes, things just don’t go according to plan. Mistakes are made. So many mistakes. The kind that you don’t even recognize as mistakes until they’re over and you’re left with a feeling of dread that resembles a bead of sweat rolling down your back. Unsettling, but passing nonetheless.
By Andie Pabon7 years ago in Humans
Best Ways to Get Over a Breakup and Move On. Top Story - August 2018.
Everyone reacts differently to heartache and rejection, but some responses are healthier and more effective than others. And many responses to grief, though they might feel good in the moment, can make the healing process longer and more difficult.
By Nicola P. Young7 years ago in Humans
The Breakup
So, I dated this girl for almost four months, and it was a relationship that happened because we were already good friends from high school and the connection was already established.
By Reiss Alonso7 years ago in Humans
A Favorite Sweater
I found my favorite and most treasured sweater in a flea market in Florence. It began as the typical hunt for the "perfect" article of clothing—the fit, the look, material: everything. It was hanging up in one of the nicer stands, alone and high enough for me to see it from afar. Rushing over there, I asked the man to get it down for me. In the attempts to look casual and indifferent I asked the price. 30 euro. Scoffing with an eye-roll, I made a feeble effort to barter it down; all the while in my head I knew full well I would pay whatever price for this long-sought sweater. I'm going to make the safe assumption that the vendor saw straight through my pretend indifference. Needless to say, I paid the 30 euros and have never once regretted it.
By Raven Bianco7 years ago in Humans
It Will Be Effortless and Beautiful
Once upon a time, more like five months to be exact, I fell for an undercover fuck boy. What’s an undercover fuck boy, you may ask? Well, according to Urban Dictionary, it’s a guy who is a piece of shit but puts on an act of being a decent person to get into your pants. It’s a pretty accurate definition, and I honestly couldn’t have said it any better myself. So mad props to Urban Dictionary.
By Maryanne Jackson7 years ago in Humans