advice
Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..
A LIE IS EASIER THAN THE TRUTH
I looked back in my dating life and noticed a pattern with the guys I dated. They always told the truth. Wow, who knew? But I just did not recognize it at first. It took me having to examine some things to figure it out. You know when you get to that point in trying to figure out why you have had such shitty luck with men. So, you start debating about whether you should start dating women. Then you depressingly realize you like men too much for that. Even though you cannot stand them half the time. But as I looked back at my relationships, I was always told the truth. In some shape, form, or fashion. They always reveal at some point who they really were. I just was not paying attention. For example, you know those conversations when your lying-in bed or sitting on the couch you all are doing your own thing and then out of the blue, they say the most random thing. You tell yourself they do not know what their saying or they do not mean that “YES THEY DO”. Every word of it. Most of the time, we brush it off or deflect to avoid from having an argument. Sometimes, you might even question them after they say it and they say, oh nothing never mind, or what are you talking about I did not say anything. That means you heard me, I said what I said, and I hope you got every word of it, Lol. I had this one relationship where we would tell each other our perfect mate or someone we could see ourselves dating. We would name at least 5 people that would match that description and why. Let’s just say stuff got real. So, I said mine and the reasons why. All the guys I named, and their reasons would make the ‘Perfect Man’. After I said what I said it was all these questions and the side eye looks. To me that was hilarious. Then it was his turn and he named them and then came the reason. I got quiet put my head down and look and said Umm, sweetie I do not fit any of those descriptions. See at least he could relate to some of my picks. Then I told him, they are all on your list because of looks and nothing of importance. Your reasons are because they are fine and rich. Ok, I am fat and broke. So, why are you with me again. His answer was because your beautiful and smart. I said aww, you are so sweet (Deflecting) I know your probably saying: what does that have to do with what your partner is trying to say? Honestly, I felt like that was something so little and it did not mean anything either. But I guess it can be the littlest things. That can spill over into something big. So, later came the let us work out together and start eating right. I was like ok I finally got someone to look out for me. That only lasted so long on his end of course. Then, there was the go out for this promotion to make more money. I said it would have me at crazy hours and I have my family to think about. He would come with the, you need spend more time doing things for yourself. So, I asked are you happy in this relationship? He said, yes why? I said because it seems like you are trying to change me into what you want me to be. He responded and said no I just want us to live a long life together and be successful. I said I understand that. But when you say us that mean you and me. But it seems like I am the only one putting in the work for us. So, again what is the real reason we are together? Because I love you. Yeah, right later I found out the real reason was that it was convenient. Let us just say that relationship did not work out. I spent years telling myself what I wanted his words and actions to mean versus what he really was trying to say. So, everyone listens to your partner, “Every word”. They might be telling you something particularly important. This might save a lot of time and heartache in the end.
By Cassandra Smith5 years ago in Humans
Overcoming the Past
The first time was supposed to be the last time. This is what I told myself after I lost count of how many times I had been knocked up side my head. This time was different; he left bruises. For the longest time, it had been verbal abuse. He'd say things like, "You're not good enough!", or "you're too skinny", and the one that stung the most, "That's not my baby!" I did not understand how someone who claimed they loved me could say those things, but for some reason I just could not let him go. This time it was different; I believed everything he said. He was not drunk or high, he said these things in pure anger.
By Keturah Wicks5 years ago in Humans
The Fundamentals Of Unconditional Love
Acceptance That lifetime inner feeling of emptiness, the feeling that something always seemed to be missing or something not being quite right. A yearning for "the one" all left me once my twin flame and I connected but a feeling of suppression replaced it. All of my relationship needs and desires got pushed to the side. Every time I felt the urge to get close to my twin I got shut down by the brick wall that reminded me this was my desire but not necessarily his.
By Vee's Voice5 years ago in Humans
Why People Matter?
As 2020 comes to a close. I have been doing some reflection on this year, personally and looking at the events of the world. This year has been a unique one with the Covid 19 Virus, another controversial election period, and division surrounding issues that should bring us together.
By Michael Keck5 years ago in Humans
Relationship Advice For Women - Tips on How to Get Your Spouse to Love You More
Relationship Advice For Women - Tips on How to Get Your Spouse to Love You More:- Relationship Advice for Women can be extremely helpful. Especially in the current economy, it is important to know what to do when you are experiencing a rocky time. There are a lot of things that women can do in order to fix their relationships and have them become stronger. Some tips will help women avoid falling into bad habits, while other tips can make their relationships stronger.
By Get Value Daily5 years ago in Humans
Single for the Holidays?
I've been single for over two years. I know right, it's crazy (wink)! I'm going into my third holiday season with no plus one. Is this something that bothers me personally? Not at all! But I understand that this can be a big deal and quite bothersome for some. The holidays are about love, being thankful and joyful, and many of us have a longing to share in these emotions and feelings beyond just our family and friends. We also want to have that special someone with us in these special times. But if this is not your life right now, like it isn't mine, I NEED you to know that there are still great ways to have the best time during the holidays without letting being single steal your holiday spirit!
By Alesia Davis5 years ago in Humans
Afterthoughts
Most of us start out the new year expecting a fresh beginning. This is the time to make a list of your new year’s resolutions and conquer them! Or in most peoples’ case just make a list. This year started out pretty decent for me actually. I was working full-time and going to school full-time as well. I was looking forward to graduating with my Bachelor’s degree in May. Thank goodness because I was pulling my hair out with all the stress from school. Literally, you could see clumps of my hair all over the house, but that could also have been from my lack of cleaning lately. Moving onto March, I started hearing more about COVID-19. They had begun to shut down certain businesses in Minnesota where I was living. There was talk around my work place saying that we could possibly get shut down because we weren’t considered an essential business. Later on, we got notice that we were essential. Who knew a book binding company was essential? Anyways, my company ended up laying off myself and several other employees for about a month. After the month, everyone got called back but me. I forgot to mention, my husband also worked at the same company. When everyone got called back and I didn’t, my husband started asking questions as to why I was still stuck sitting at home since I was the accounting administrator. My boss finally replied in a roundabout way saying they weren’t calling me back. That moment started my job search, which still continues to this day unfortunately.
By Samantha Erickson5 years ago in Humans
